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Old 04-18-2011, 01:14 PM   #21
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

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I see very few people here who have contempt for their current ped. I see a few mommas on this thread that are saying they had a terrible ped and that they have found an awesome one they have now. I have always had an awesome ped because I stuck with the one we have now and she is fab. BUT there are a lot of peditricians out there that will recommend doing things that are contrary to the newest recommendations. As a lactation consultant, I cannot tell you how many times I have had clients that have been told to mix rice cereal in their breastmilk or artificial baby milk. Or how many mothers have been told ridiculous things about their breastmilk that is simply not true. Such as a mother that was told that her babe could not nurse and that she needed to stop asap because she had toxemia in the end of her pregnancy and her milk was no longer okay for the babe because of it. Or how many mothers have been told that their babes were starving because they were smaller than the average child, but they in fact, are from families that have smaller children and there is nothing wrong with them. I have had clients that their peditrician has recommended that they turn their babes around in the car seat to forward facing at 9 months old because they were long babes and they were over 20#.

The thing is in this thread you are going to hear of stories of some terrible peds because the OP has this experiance right now. And many are commiserating with her and encouraging her to stand up for her child. Most docs are in the business for well being, you are absolutely right. BUT there are docs out there that have lost sight of the mission.


I understand. For my experience the worst was with the lactation consultants at the hospital. It was a major university hospital. It was very traumatizing for me and I ended up exclusively pumping for 6 months, which led to a severe depression. After knowing my baby was healthy the most important thing for me was help with nursing. The second one who came to help me I told to leave my room and not count me as her patient. She was trying to tell me things that I knew weren't true. I wish I had known more about outside help or even milk sharing. After 6 months of pumping 6 hours a day I had to stop.

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Old 04-18-2011, 01:21 PM   #22
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

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Honestly I find it very hard to believe that so many pediatricians are so awful. Well checks are important for a reason. They take info to and see if a baby is possibly in trouble from a dev. or health standpoint. Doctors are trained to know things that the average person wouldn't. You barely had a lapse in seeing the doctor and for a very good reason.

It just seems that everybody(nearly) here has contempt for their child's doctor and feels that they are being treated like an imbecile
I don't, I guess because we also ended up dropping our original pediatrition. She seemed okay for awhile and was very helpful and encouraging when my first was born.

But then we decided to have a home birth with our daughter and everything went downhill, especially once our daughter was born. She tried to make us feel bad for not taking our daughter in to see her in her office (which is half an hour away) the exact same day our daughter was born! When my son was 18 months old and she saw we had a potty for him, she said he was "just playing with it". The last straw was when we didn't agree to give our daughter cereals every day from six months old because (she said) my milk wasn't sufficient any more - because she tried to make us feel like horrible parents for not wanting to do so and turned it into we didn't want to feed her. Not only this but she gave us completely different advice for my daughter than the advice she had given when my son was my daughter's age. My daughter had simply not gained weight in one month ( ! ) so she used that as an excuse to say she needed cereal... she "lost one oz so she needs cereal and your milk isn't enough any more!!" About a year before that, when my son was the same age, I was concerned b/c my son had lost some weight. I became concerned that maybe my supply was dwindling because I was pregnant. She wasn't as concerned at all and didn't think it was a big deal (though she did let us come in 2 weeks later for a weight check - which I asked for!) (I DID do cereals with my son, a little bit and I guess she thought we were giving him cereal every day, so she thought he was fine.) Such a contradiction and all just because we didn't believe baby cereals were so necessary and she did. In fact the main reason I did start giving my son cereal was because my supply truly was low, and he wouldn't take a bottle, but he liked to eat.

The nice thing was that at least she didn't like doing more than 2 shots at a time and if my LO's were a little bit sick she'd encourage us to skip the shot and just wait for next time. But this meant we were going every single month and every single time we'd leave her office frustrated (and yeah - if we skipped one or two appointments - which we didn't - I bet she would have been upset with us, too.) It just wasn't worth it. So we looked into switching doctors, found one whose thinking was more in line with ours, and finally saw her.

To the OP, and no you aren't doing anything wrong by not giving white breads, rice or pasta! I don't even do whole wheat much anymore because I've become convinced gluten isn't that great anyway. We do do basmati rice and not just brown rice. If you are concerned about calories I'd add things like sweet potatoes and avocados (my LO's love sweet potatoes and my son loves avocados.) But it sounds like your LO is doing just fine

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Old 04-18-2011, 01:27 PM   #23
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

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Thanks mamas that makes me feel better. my dd is meeting all the milestones and is a generally very happy baby Do you think I should be adding more white breads, pastas and rice to her diet? Does she need these things? I figured brown rice was healthier as well as whole wheat bread and pastas.
My DD wasn't even that heavy at 10 months, so you're child is no where near failure to thrive. Feed her healthy and FIRE the Ped. No reason for that attitude at all. Stand up for yourself and your child.
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Old 04-18-2011, 01:35 PM   #24
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

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The thing is in this thread you are going to hear of stories of some terrible peds because the OP has this experiance right now. And many are commiserating with her and encouraging her to stand up for her child. Most docs are in the business for well being, you are absolutely right. BUT there are docs out there that have lost sight of the mission.
...I do truly think our former ped meant well, too. She mostly had old information though... I think.
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Old 04-18-2011, 01:51 PM   #25
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

Thanks mamas. I didn't think it was me but if you listened to my SIL rave about this pedi you would understand my questioning myself.

I did offer the dr. Records I had been keeping of dd's monthly weight and height but I guess because i am not a nurse, I couldn't possibly know how to weigh or measure my child meh maybe I am taking it too personal. Maybe they can't take that kind of patient info for a reason. I just wanted her to have an accurate view of my dd's growth pattern but she she just glanced at it and set it aside. When it was all said and done, she left the room and left the paper there on the counter.

Time to find a new pediatrician
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:03 PM   #26
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

Get rid of that excuse for a Dr. They know nothing at all about nutrition and they have huge egos. Remember too that the growth charts they have are for formula fed babies from the 60's. You're doing everything right, and the pedi is an idiot. It sounds like your baby is growing, eating, and having bm just fine.
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:11 PM   #27
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

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Honestly I find it very hard to believe that so many pediatricians are so awful. Well checks are important for a reason. They take info to and see if a baby is possibly in trouble from a dev. or health standpoint. Doctors are trained to know things that the average person wouldn't. You barely had a lapse in seeing the doctor and for a very good reason.

It just seems that everybody(nearly) here has contempt for their child's doctor and feels that they are being treated like an imbecile
I love out pedi but we still don't go into the office for well checks during flu and rsv season. I also feel quite capable of knowing whether he is gaining weight and height normally.

OP get a new doc.
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:52 PM   #28
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

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I love out pedi but we still don't go into the office for well checks during flu and rsv season. I also feel quite capable of knowing whether he is gaining weight and height normally.

OP get a new doc.
I don't blame anyone for not going during flu season unless needed. For the well checks I am mainly talking about things like checking the organs, eyes, head circumference and so forth. We are lucky in that our doctor has 2 entrances and the patients don't share rooms, as far as sick and well. No offence to anyone else, but Leslie you are way above the average person as far as knowledge and capability go.
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Old 04-18-2011, 10:51 PM   #29
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

I would not call formula artificial baby milk as many kids consume it and are just as healthy as those who receive breast milk.

BUT, 10% is perfectly fine. My son was always in the 3% for weight (I forget for height but it was higher) and he just jumped to the 6% and at that appt. they told me that between the 5-95% was just fine and not to worry. NOT once was he labeled anything other than their happy boy who loved visiting the clinic (they really do call him happy boy as most kids scream when they see them). They have us come more often just for weight checks and to check in but they have been nothing but supportive and helpful. We decided to slow down shots and they were great about it helping us to decide how. Bottomline - find a new doctor. Ok, you SHOULD have done the regular 3 month appts, you know that, they can mention it, fine but move on and focus on the here and now. NOTHING WRONG with the 10%. We'd love to get there.

We met with a nutritionist just to double check what we were doing as we are doing veggie and have reflux issues. We are doing the healthy diet within reason and again, she was 100% supportive. One ped. pushed more fried/fatty food but I said, not till he gets older and they said ok and talked about other food options and I said those we do in moderation as I want him to understand how to eat properly (unlike his mom ).

We do a mix of white/whole grain (I only eat white), pasta's and rice - our son loves pasta and rice and I don't see where it is a problem but if you aren't ok with it and its not part of your family diet, then no. If anything after she turns 12-13 months or when she can chew really well (our son could not chew till about 12 months really well), I'd add some beans and lentils. We just make a batch in a rice cooker - takes about two hours on slow cook from the dried beans (some you soak first) - we do it in water/veggie brother with some veggies. They are great for snacks.

The World Health Organization says to keep kids on breastmilk/formula till age 2. I used to think it was strange till we started looking at it and our options as the whole milk transition did not work for us/reflux. I would keep them on something till 2 - which ever, even if it is just two services (AM/PM) as we find when our son gets sick, all he will take is formula or when he's just in his I don't want to eat toddler mode, at least he's getting something in him and that way we don't force him to eat or worry as he either will get what he needs from formula (or in your situation breast milk) or food.

And, at her age, she should be reducing her intake and switching to food (although our son switched to food/normal meals and kept up his formula intake but the doc didn't seem to say anything).

Find a new doc.!!!! She's a bad doc. and you are a good mom for thinking all this through.
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Old 04-18-2011, 10:54 PM   #30
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

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Thanks mamas. I didn't think it was me but if you listened to my SIL rave about this pedi you would understand my questioning myself.

I did offer the dr. Records I had been keeping of dd's monthly weight and height but I guess because i am not a nurse, I couldn't possibly know how to weigh or measure my child meh maybe I am taking it too personal. Maybe they can't take that kind of patient info for a reason. I just wanted her to have an accurate view of my dd's growth pattern but she she just glanced at it and set it aside. When it was all said and done, she left the room and left the paper there on the counter.

Time to find a new pediatrician
Your measurements are probably just as good. Our son's chart is all over the place and can't be 100% right as we go to a two different clinics depending on availability and depending on who takes the measurements and the scale, it is clear its not fully accurate when the ped. looks at the chart (and we've seen several but our main one we've seen since a few weeks old and she knows my little squirt).
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