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Old 04-18-2011, 12:48 PM   #1
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When you lose you temper with your kids...

When you majorly lose your temper with your kids and yell at them way more than you should (even if it was something big they did), do you apologize or let it go?

I really lost my cool with my kids, especially my 4˝yr old, after he did some major damage to their bunkbeds with a loose screw...scratching it beyond repair and almost ripping a hole in the bedspread. I know I need to sit down and talk to him and apologize, but I'm waiting until my temper calms down a little. I don't want to defeat the purpose by going in there still angry. WWYD?

Oh, but the punishment of not getting to go to Monkey Joes (an indoor bounce-house playplace) with friends this week still stands. Plus, I really need that day for packing for our move in just over a week.

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Old 04-18-2011, 12:54 PM   #2
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

I apologize for yelling, if I feel I over reacted, but still explain that what they did is wrong. DD has a habit of (sometimes) apologizing right as I'm about to reprimand her, because she knows what she did was wrong and I think she doesn't like seeing me mad.
I think cooling down before apologizing is a great idea. My dad used to do this all the time, I think thats where I get it from lol.
And i agree with enforcing your punishment.
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Old 04-18-2011, 12:55 PM   #3
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

Yes, definitely apologize.

Tell them that their misbehavior really made you angry, but you should not have screamed at them, something along those lines. Let them know Mommy still loves them despite what they did, but yeah definitely do not just let this go - the punishment still stands.

I yell at my kids too much sometimes... I always apologize but I still carry a lot of guilt about it. So I understand how you feel right now but it is important to tell them you're sorry and you love them.
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Old 04-18-2011, 12:58 PM   #4
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

Yep, cool down, then go in and tell him you love him and you are sorry for screaming. That you shouldn't have screamed, and that is not how we are supposed to handle our angry feelings.
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Old 04-18-2011, 12:58 PM   #5
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

I always apologize.
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Old 04-18-2011, 01:06 PM   #6
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

I did apologize and explain things to them once I calmed down. And the punishment spans more than just this one thing...it covers their disobedient behavior for the entire day.
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Old 04-18-2011, 01:07 PM   #7
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

I apologize... And just let them know mommy got upset... but still loves them no less, and explain why I got upset..
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Old 04-18-2011, 01:07 PM   #8
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

I apologize too. I hate yelling and I always feel guilty when I do it... even though I always try not to, it just happens sometimes (or a lot of times recently). I always just tell DD that mommy doesn't like to yell and I'm sorry. Then I say that the punishment still stands because what she did is still wrong. Occasionally I will give myself a 'time out' in my room to calm down if I feel like I behaved awfully. I want her to know that it's not a good way to handle anger (obviously I am still struggling with it) and even mommies make mistakes and can apologize. I never want her to feel like everything I do is right, even though she should listen. Adults make mistakes too and we should live by example. If I make her apologize for yelling, then I should too!
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Old 04-18-2011, 03:45 PM   #9
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

I usually apologize for yelling. Its usually about an hour later after i cool down and come up with the right words to say in regaurds to what happened.
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Old 04-18-2011, 03:57 PM   #10
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

I always apologize and explain why I got angry. One of my friends always says to use it as a teachable moment, and that they know you are human and it lets them know accountability in their own lives, which I agree with. My mom always let it go and I still remember it. I want my kids to know that I make mistakes too, but that I am not afraid of admitting it. I am known to put myself in a time out when I feel like this!
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