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Old 04-18-2011, 04:15 PM   #11
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

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Originally Posted by TNEarthMama View Post
I apologize... And just let them know mommy got upset... but still loves them no less, and explain why I got upset..
This is me too. And I always feel so darn guilty for losing control. Being a parent is so tough.

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Old 04-18-2011, 04:20 PM   #12
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

I went through this last week with my 4 yr old too. It's like "terrible 4's" with us here. I normally don't lose my cool, but it seems like since she turned 4, she's really testing me and all the whining (aah! that's the number 1 rule here "no whining") and me talking to the wall (#2 rule here - mom & dad only ask once. she likes saying "wait a minute, I'm busy right now!")

Anyhow, I felt bad. I did apologize.
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Old 04-18-2011, 04:29 PM   #13
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

ditto the above. A great learning experience. We all make mistakes but apologies are important as words whether meant or not hurt. I will tell my kids yes you were wrong for doing xyz but I was wrong in the way I handled it, etc.
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Old 04-18-2011, 04:37 PM   #14
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

My son doesn't really understand yet, but I apologize and remind him that I love him. It helps me too, to recognize that even though I was very upset or annoyed or whatever... I shouldn't have lost my temper.
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Old 04-18-2011, 04:56 PM   #15
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

If my behavior/actions were done by either my spouse or children or a friend, and I would expect an apology then I would apologize to my children for those actions/words/behaviors that were wrong. I think the number 1 way children learn is by observation and modeling what they observe.
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Old 04-18-2011, 04:59 PM   #16
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

I always apologize. Even if they've done something gosh awful.
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Old 04-18-2011, 05:11 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angely_06
I apologize for yelling, if I feel I over reacted, but still explain that what they did is wrong. DD has a habit of (sometimes) apologizing right as I'm about to reprimand her, because she knows what she did was wrong and I think she doesn't like seeing me mad.
I think cooling down before apologizing is a great idea. My dad used to do this all the time, I think thats where I get it from lol.
And i agree with enforcing your punishment.
That. Apologize but also reinforce why you were upset and the consequences (not punishment but consequences in our house) stand.

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Old 04-18-2011, 06:59 PM   #18
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Hah I use to scream at my older kids. Then I learned to take a step back, send them to their rooms for however long it took to settle down & then go in and talk to them like a sane person.

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Old 04-18-2011, 09:24 PM   #19
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

My mom never apologized to me when she yelled at me and I have to say I harnessed a lot of resentment about some of the things she said to me while angry. It took me a long time to get over some of them.
That being said I always apologize to dd for loosing my cool. She doesn't get away with anything but I tell her I'm sorry for yelling explain why i did yell and that I love her no matter what. It is really important to me to do that after the way I was raised.
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:45 PM   #20
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Re: When you lose you temper with your kids...

Yeah, I do. I walk away, cool off, and then get down on her level (usually her seated in the time out chair), explain that it was not a good thing what she did and why, but it was also not a good thing that mommy flew off the handle and yelled at her, and that mommy should have found another way to deal with the fact that she was angry. Then I reinforce the fact that I love her and we usually cuddle up for a few minutes, and then time out is over, and we get to fixing waht the problem was (most recent was writing on the wall with dry erase marker).
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