Curing Whining

[3rockstars]

Originally Posted by Computermama My 3.5 year old has been a ball of tears for the last month or so. It's driving me bonkers. She freaked out and bawled when I told her she had something sticky in her hair. Then after she calmed down from that, she cried again when I told her she had to wait until after supper to have a bath. And again when I kicked her out of the kitchen because I was cooking said supper, a rule that's been in place since she was mobile. And again when it wasn't what she wanted. And then she stepped on a block and bawled (guess who left them out?) and when I told her I couldn't stop what I was doing that instant to get her playdoh out......can I sell her on eBay before she drives me out of my skull? Sent from my iPod touch using DS Forum

I am SO glad you posted because that's exactly what happens on a daily basis with my daughter who is younger by a month or two. She is constantly miserable unless I'm letting her do exactly as she wants(usually watching a movie). She just constantly cries. I've begun telling her that I can't understand her and she needs to stop crying and talk to me. I tried putting her in time out when she's crying about stupid stuff(like ridiculous stuff like being mad because the cat sat next to her on her bed and wouldn't move). I've tried ignoring it. <-----holy bad decision! That just made it WORSE! When she gets going good, it can last 30-45minutes and at that point she's just SOBBING and doesn't know why. It's incredibly frustrating.

[syfitz]

Completely ignoring it does work as long as you let them know it will be ignored and immediately respond to them when they are not whining and comment on how nice it was to hear them talking in a "big boy/girl" voice.
It gets a bit harder when you have a lot of kids or other things keeping you busy. Sometimes that annoying whine gets your attention like nothing else could

It is a phase that can turn into a really bad habit. All my toddlers did it, but stopped once we faithfully ignored it and made a point to respond to/praise appropriate tones of voice.

[skolbut]

I can't stand whining too! If one of my kids whines, I respond "I'm sorry, I can't understand you. Are you using big boy words". If I CAN understand them and that redirect doesn't work, I'll repeat what they are saying in the tone I want to hear it in. I DO NOT comply with a request in whine. They also need to use please and thank you. And YES, at 2 and 4. That's not to say they never whine, we just consistently redirect when they do, so it's not nearly so bad.
ETA: and yes, sometimes they don't want to stop whining and start crying. I just calmly repeat what they need to say and in what tone and eventually they do it, or go in their room until they're ready.


Also, tantrums must be done in the bedroom. If one of the kids is losing it for some reason, whining/crying/etc leading to a tantrum they go in their room until they can use "kind words". We're big on "kind words" around here and I've even made DH go into his room until he can use kind words sometimes. This goes for wandering around whining, too.

There's nothing that drives me nuts more than the neighbor girl coming over whining "I want some juuuuice!" Ugh.