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Old 04-21-2011, 03:04 AM   #1
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Sigh, DD's bday party is going to be a flop. HELP!

DD's bday is on sat. She will be turning 8. We had planned a little party at home, but not one of her friends can come. So it'll just be us, my mom, my brothers, and my BFF. Dh's parents are going to be out of town too. I feel AWFUL. I don't know what to do. We were thinking of maybe taking the kids to the dollar theater during the day, and then having the little party later. She doesn't have many friends to begin with, and she takes things very personally. What can I do to make the party extra special for her? Since her friends aren't coming, there's no need for games and things. I was thinking of maybe giving her a little "makeover" before the party. Maybe curling her hair, letting her put on a little lip gloss or something and paint her nails so she'll feel extra pretty. And she wants pizza, so pizza it is. And I'm going to make her cake. Well, actually the kids will help, they love helping me bake. But besides that, I'm lost. We have 4 kids, so I suppose we could do some games anyway? I really don't know....HELP!

ETA: last year we had her party at Boomers, and lots of people came, but it seems like every time we have a home party, nobody wants to come. But we just can't afford anything else right now. we live in a small condo, and it's not very nice, and this area is pretty well off, and I think people just don't want to come to our house, which makes me sad. There's nothing wrong with our house, it's just small and not "nice" like the million dollar homes her friends live in. so sad.

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Old 04-21-2011, 05:54 AM   #2
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Re: Sigh, DD's bday party is going to be a flop. HELP!

Oh, I'm so sorry that this is causing you to feel sad. But perhaps it would be helpful to view this from another perspective: what a neat opportunity to really focus on her and celebrate her! You attitude could really make this a fabulous day for her. If she enjoys getting all prettied up, then giving her a mini-makeoever would be a terrific idea. Then you could have her make some sort of background arrangement (let her take the lead...she might really enjoy it) and take pictures of her which you can later frame and let her hang in her room). I love the idea of getting her siblings involved: your oldest could be asked to head up the "why you are special" section of the party, and they could write letters or draw pictures of what they like best about her. My 8 yo DD enjoys creating, so we got her a gift certificate to go to a paint your own pottery place (something she's never done before). Even taking her on a special date with you or you and your DH could be a real treat. I'm sorry that things aren't going the way you hoped, but I'm sure you can make this special for her anyway! Hugs to you!
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Old 04-21-2011, 06:41 AM   #3
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Re: Sigh, DD's bday party is going to be a flop. HELP!

Her birthday will be great because the people who love her will be there.

Perhaps as an extra treat, her favorite adult (mom, dad, aunt, uncle - whoever) can take her for some 1 on 1 time to see a movie and get some ice cream?

Memories are made at times like these, and we reminisce and laugh about them afterward. A lot of this will depend on your attitude. Good Luck!
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Old 04-21-2011, 08:14 AM   #4
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Re: Sigh, DD's bday party is going to be a flop. HELP!

I'm sorry. Definitely focus on her. Perhaps you can take the $$ you were budgeting for a kid party and do an extra special gift or turn the party into something else - a mother/daughter manicure or something.

Recently we rescheduled my son's 10th birthday party. I knew when I scheduled it that our date was going to be iffy because most of his friends are on a baseball team together (my son chose not to play this spring). So, I scheduled the party and talked to each parent to let them know that we'd be rescheduling if they had a game. Turned out they did, so I rescheduled so that he could have his friends there. Worked out well.
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Old 04-21-2011, 08:27 AM   #5
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Re: Sigh, DD's bday party is going to be a flop. HELP!



I'm so sorry! I think your little girl will feel super loved because it sounds like you're a great mama.

I agree with PP, make it a celebration of her, and I think your ideas about making her feel extra pretty are really great ideas. If it makes you feel better, I don't particularly remember my birthday parties from that age....but I DO remember special time spent with my mama!
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Old 04-21-2011, 08:29 AM   #6
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Re: Sigh, DD's bday party is going to be a flop. HELP!

This is a hard weekend...many are traveling or have family commitments because of Easter. Can you reschedule for next weekend?
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Old 04-21-2011, 08:46 AM   #7
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Re: Sigh, DD's bday party is going to be a flop. HELP!

You can always do it on another weekend. My DD's birthday is always during Spring Break (March 27th) so we usually plan her party for the weekend after so that more kids can come.
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Old 04-21-2011, 09:30 AM   #8
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Re: Sigh, DD's bday party is going to be a flop. HELP!

I've thought about rescheduling, but I'm not sure that her friends will come even if we reschedule. I guess I could flat out ask them, hey, if I reschedule to this date will you be able to come, but I really expect more excuses. Her "friends" really aren't even her friends. They are more oldest dd's friends. Oldest DD is outgoing and Haley really isn't. Haley struggles in school and used to throw many a fit (she's gotten much better), and that really kind of turned her friends off. My oldest DD kind of stole her friends. Plus she recently moved schools, which makes it hard to. Because her friends at her new school, which are actually HER friends, and not her sisters friends, don't know us. So I dont blame them for not wanting to come. She was recently evaluated at school, and we have an IEP meeting set up for may (yay, finally!) and I think it's a combo of her issues plus it being at our house, that people just flat out dont want to come. It's so sad. i feel like she's being rejected, b/c she's just a little different, and b/c we dont live in a million dollar home like her friends do. She's such a beautiful, loving girl though. I really wish I could help her make new REAL friends. I have tried. But then oldest DD gets all the attention. It worries me b/c they are 15 months apart, and as they get into middle school and HS I am really afraid oldest DD will be the "popular" one and Haley will be on the back burner. i already see it happening and it's just so sad. Sorry this turned into a whole other vent!
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Old 04-21-2011, 09:32 AM   #9
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Re: Sigh, DD's bday party is going to be a flop. HELP!

but I love the manicure idea! In fact, I have a gift card that I was going to use for a mani/pedi for myself, but it's a dollar amount, doesnt say specifically mani pedi, so i could just get us both manis instead! Good thinkin! She would love getting away with me by herself! See, you guys are so smart!
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Old 04-21-2011, 12:11 PM   #10
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Re: Sigh, DD's bday party is going to be a flop. HELP!

I would just focus on making the day special for her, doing what she wants to do. My girls are super into princess/queen stuff so if I was in your situation I'd get a crown and wand from the dollar tree and make her "queen of the day." Just remind her to be a kind and generous queen!

Hope she has a special day!
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