Diaper Swappers

Lisa921 · 04-20-2011, 06:01 PM

We are TTC #2 and I'm considering staying home for a few years once we have a second child. DH is supportive, and we could definitely swing it for a year or two. I would likely do a few grad school classes at the same time (online) and then be geared up to step back into the job market.

I've been working on advancing my career and I understand that this may stall my progress, but I really feel like I'll regret it if I don't take some time to be home when the kids are young. I'm wondering if anyone else has done this or thought about it...

Kriket · 04-20-2011, 06:11 PM

Well, I don't have a career to stall

I'm an out of work chef. The industry really doesn't change that much.
But we have thought about it. I am going to 'only' WAH come June, when school lets out and I won't have kids to babysit.

I came in to see what was poppin'. Frankly, I'm terrified of SAH.

It's a huge change for us, and it's scary.

lilac0226 · 04-23-2011, 01:26 AM

I've never been a SAHM but I have gone back and forth between full time work and part-time work and my vote is if you can swing it than stay at home. Your kids are only little once. In my job I work crazy hours which has made it worst but I do have regrets/resentment towards my DH that I have spent so much time working full-time. I am back to working less (2 nights per week) and am noticing a huge difference with my children now that they have more structure. When I work full-time it just seems like their life is more chaotic and there are more behavioral issues.

Good luck.

wlillie · 04-23-2011, 06:39 PM

I'm almost in the exact same position, but we are waiting until the end of May to start TTC and I'm going to have to convince hubby and I want to do the National Guard so I'll have some adults only interaction a few days a month.

We could swing it, but we'd have to make some huge sacrifices with visiting our families and my toys/clothes for the kids budget would be a 10th of what it would be if I worked.

My hubby thinks that I would be really unhappy, but with two in daycare I don't think I'd do all that great at work either.

doodah · 04-23-2011, 07:47 PM

well it could be awhile till you get pregnant and longer till you are ready to quit so its not like you have to decide right at this moment. You also don't have to commit to any length of time. Just take a longer maternity leave and reevaluate your situation as needed. Its great that you have the options!

kjo · 04-24-2011, 12:47 PM

I left my career after having DS2 to stay home (15 months ago) and I love it so much! I worked in the accounting department of a large corporation and had to drive 30 miles to and from work in traffic each day. DH is a teacher so we've had to make sacrifices but it has been totally worth it. We each had nice (new) vehicles but we sold them so that we could buy paid for used cars. We do meal planning, monthly budgeting, cash system. We still have enough for extras here and there.

Personally my heart just wasn't in work anymore after having kids. I kind of resented the hours and the pay was really good but looking back it was a very stressful time for my family. I tried to go back to work part time 2 days a week and that still didn't work with how young my kids were. Now I have started my own bookkeeping business from home and I also sew from home for a lady in our neighborhood which pays shockingly good money.

One other thing though, we are still really active and I think that made my adjustment easier. Plus DS1 was in preschool 3 days a week right after I had the baby. We do story times, play dates, playground...it helps me get that adult conversation that is so important. My family was shocked when I decided to stay home b/c they thought I was such a career person. They all told me I'd regret it and be back at work in no time. Honestly, I don't ever plan to go back and now we can consider things like homeschool which wouldn't have been possible before.

hikergal73 · 04-24-2011, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doodah

well it could be awhile till you get pregnant and longer till you are ready to quit so its not like you have to decide right at this moment. You also don't have to commit to any length of time. Just take a longer maternity leave and reevaluate your situation as needed. Its great that you have the options!

This, exactly. I am actually due in June and was getting worked up about whether I should go back to work or not and if not, when should I give notice. My mom just told me that since I don't what it will be like with the new baby, why make a decision based on an unknown? So I'm taking the "wait and see" approach. I am fortunate to be a situation where we can swing it either way (although being SAH would require some more financial discipline).

I finished grad school a few years ago and changed careers, so I understand not wanting to stall your career. I figured if I did the SAH route for a few years that I would maybe do some very part-time or volunteer work and continue to keep up my network.

sandy_dandy · 04-24-2011, 10:00 PM

We are talking about TTC this summer... I would like to WAH instead of WOH with only side projects at home... but I don't know that we can afford it because DH's college (where he teaches) has had some major budget slashing (including his pay). Then again, I don't know how we can afford 2 kids in daycare unless I go back to working 5 days/week... which I'm not sure MY company can pay, plus I really like working 4 days.

It is all so FRUSTRATING!!! I appreciate any prayers or well-wishing for my hubby's job situation...

04-20-2011, 06:01 PM	#1
Lisa921 Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 1,597 Ratings: 50 Feedback: 100%	Thinking of becoming a SAHM for a while We are TTC #2 and I'm considering staying home for a few years once we have a second child. DH is supportive, and we could definitely swing it for a year or two. I would likely do a few grad school classes at the same time (online) and then be geared up to step back into the job market. I've been working on advancing my career and I understand that this may stall my progress, but I really feel like I'll regret it if I don't take some time to be home when the kids are young. I'm wondering if anyone else has done this or thought about it... __________________ RN and mommy to DD born 9/09 and DS born 3/12!

04-23-2011, 01:26 AM	#3
lilac0226 Registered Users Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 633 Ratings: 6 Feedback: 100%	Re: Thinking of becoming a SAHM for a while I've never been a SAHM but I have gone back and forth between full time work and part-time work and my vote is if you can swing it than stay at home. Your kids are only little once. In my job I work crazy hours which has made it worst but I do have regrets/resentment towards my DH that I have spent so much time working full-time. I am back to working less (2 nights per week) and am noticing a huge difference with my children now that they have more structure. When I work full-time it just seems like their life is more chaotic and there are more behavioral issues. Good luck. __________________ http://www.groupon.com/r/uu16101319

04-23-2011, 06:39 PM	#4
wlillie Registered Users Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 3,373 Ratings: 33 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Thinking of becoming a SAHM for a while I'm almost in the exact same position, but we are waiting until the end of May to start TTC and I'm going to have to convince hubby and I want to do the National Guard so I'll have some adults only interaction a few days a month. We could swing it, but we'd have to make some huge sacrifices with visiting our families and my toys/clothes for the kids budget would be a 10th of what it would be if I worked. My hubby thinks that I would be really unhappy, but with two in daycare I don't think I'd do all that great at work either.

04-23-2011, 07:47 PM	#5
doodah Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Posts: 9,542 Ratings: 346 Feedback: 100%	Re: Thinking of becoming a SAHM for a while well it could be awhile till you get pregnant and longer till you are ready to quit so its not like you have to decide right at this moment. You also don't have to commit to any length of time. Just take a longer maternity leave and reevaluate your situation as needed. Its great that you have the options!

04-24-2011, 12:47 PM	#6
kjo Registered Users Formerly: kjwa*n Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 975 Ratings: 15 Feedback:** 100%	Re: Thinking of becoming a SAHM for a while I left my career after having DS2 to stay home (15 months ago) and I love it so much! I worked in the accounting department of a large corporation and had to drive 30 miles to and from work in traffic each day. DH is a teacher so we've had to make sacrifices but it has been totally worth it. We each had nice (new) vehicles but we sold them so that we could buy paid for used cars. We do meal planning, monthly budgeting, cash system. We still have enough for extras here and there. Personally my heart just wasn't in work anymore after having kids. I kind of resented the hours and the pay was really good but looking back it was a very stressful time for my family. I tried to go back to work part time 2 days a week and that still didn't work with how young my kids were. Now I have started my own bookkeeping business from home and I also sew from home for a lady in our neighborhood which pays shockingly good money. One other thing though, we are still really active and I think that made my adjustment easier. Plus DS1 was in preschool 3 days a week right after I had the baby. We do story times, play dates, playground...it helps me get that adult conversation that is so important. My family was shocked when I decided to stay home b/c they thought I was such a career person. They all told me I'd regret it and be back at work in no time. Honestly, I don't ever plan to go back and now we can consider things like homeschool which wouldn't have been possible before.