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Old 04-27-2011, 06:37 PM   #1
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would this annoy you? or am I being over sensitive?

I am 36 weeks pregnant. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. my DH works crazy hours some weeks and may be at work late some nights or may even have to work all night long. I am here with them alone all day and we only have 1 neighbor that is retired and older. I have a friend that has a 4 year old and has a new baby that is 12 weeks old. Her Dh works with mine so they have the same crazy schedule. I told her all through her pregnancy that when / if she went into labor and her DH was not there to call me and I would come and take her son for her so that she would not have to worry about him. She ended up going into labor when her mom was here, so she didn't need me.

well, I was talking to her on the phone the other day and I just mentioned that I was not sure what I was going to do with my kids if I went into labor and DH was at work. I was thinking that "maybe" she might offer to return the favor for me that I had offered to her. (esp since I have kept her son for her quite a bit for various things that she needed to do) Her response, "well maybe your neighbor will be home and he can keep them for you"

I have to say, this really annoyed me. Would it bother you? Or am I just being hormonal?

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Old 04-27-2011, 06:56 PM   #2
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Re: would this annoy you? or am I being over sensitive?

Honestly it probably would bother me, but I would realize that it was just me being hormonal.

She might be overwhelmed at the thought of keeping your two plus her two, one of which is still so young, and just afraid to say that.

Sorry she made you feel crummy though
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Old 04-27-2011, 07:00 PM   #3
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Re: would this annoy you? or am I being over sensitive?

I can get her being overwhelmed. Her 4 year old and mine play great together. Her baby is the most laid back baby I have ever seen. My 2 year old is great to just entertain herself with a book or crayons or play with the older boys. She knows that She would only have them 1 hour tops if something were to happen that I would need her. I think that is what makes me the maddest.

Oh well, I have decided to just leave her out of the mix. I will just figure out another plan and leave her out of it all together. Even if that means hauling both kids with me to the hospital and having them stay there until the grandparents can get there. I don't want to make any plans to depend on her at all knowing that she may flake out on me.
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Old 04-27-2011, 08:12 PM   #4
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Re: would this annoy you? or am I being over sensitive?

DDCC - Maybe you could just ask her? I know when someone tries to take a round about way with me, especially if I am tired, it may take a while to click if it does at all. She may not feel up to having 4 at once or she may just have honestly not thought about it. Just be prepared either way and be prepared to accept any outcome.
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Old 04-28-2011, 07:27 AM   #5
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Re: would this annoy you? or am I being over sensitive?

I think you should just ask her and get a yes or no. Its not really fair to be mad at someone for not reading your mind. Not everyone is super aware of the needs of others around them and that doesn't make her a bad person. Just because she seems to have "easy" kids doesn't mean that she doesn't have a lot on her plate right now as well plus who knows whats going on that you are not aware of. I guess I am going to go out on a limb and say that you are being the rude one in being upset in the first place. It would be nice if she offered but it sort of sounds like you are doing things for her expecting reciprocation. If thats the case, then just be up front about it and trade babysitting hours so there isn't any hard feelings.

so if this is too harsh. I know you have a lot going on as well but sometimes you need to just speak up and ask for help instead of being all alone and frustrated. Now if she said no for no good reason, THAT would irritate me.

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Old 04-28-2011, 07:52 AM   #6
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Re: would this annoy you? or am I being over sensitive?

I was going to say that I would have just flat out asked her also... I would be frustrated if she still said no then because as you said, it's only an hour or so while your husband tries to get off work and get home to you, and you have been willing to help her in the past. It would have made me feel bad too though. I know sometimes I wish I didn't have to ask, but in the end, that might be all it takes. Good luck finding someone.
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Old 04-28-2011, 08:04 AM   #7
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Re: would this annoy you? or am I being over sensitive?

I guess I forgot to add that up until the other day, the plan has always been that I would help her out and she would return the favor. So there is really no reason to ask her if she is going to help out or not. She made that pretty clear when she told me that I could call the neighbor.

As far as being rude, I never planned to say anything, nor do I act any differently toward her. Yes, I am annoyed, but I am not the type to say anything to anyone when they annoy me. I just keep it to myself. so, yea...................thanks for calling me rude.
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Old 04-28-2011, 08:23 AM   #8
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Re: would this annoy you? or am I being over sensitive?

When I had DD we where already in the town where I have the baby's at. It is a hour away from where we live. So I had to take DS with me. DH and all my family had to drive to me and DS. It was a hour before they all got there to take care of him. It was fine they got me in a room fast and I let him play. The nurses would play and talk to him also.

Hope it all work out for you.
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Old 04-28-2011, 08:28 AM   #9
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Re: would this annoy you? or am I being over sensitive?

Well, my plan is to labor at home as long as possible before going to the hospital. So, I think if I call my dad at his work, (since he can leave pretty much anytime) I can have him come here. It will take him about 45 mins to get here. If I call him early enough, then I won't have to worry about the kids after that. DH works at the hospital, but he would have to come here and get me and us get there. That will take about 40 mins too. If I call them both at the same time, then I should be good. I tend to not have really long labor, so I want to make sure when the time comes, everything is planned out and ready.

I want to make sure the other littles are well taken care of. I don't want them to be scared.

If I do have to take them with me, everyone at the hospital knows us because of me working there in the past (nurse) and Dh there now (anesthesia). So I figure they will entertain them until help can arrive.
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Old 04-28-2011, 08:37 AM   #10
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Re: would this annoy you? or am I being over sensitive?

It is so hard not to be anxious about these things! You just don't know how they are going to go and it feels better to have a good solid plan in place. Plus even if your dad can take the kids right away, I'm sure you still want your DH to be there with you so you're not alone while in labor or have to drive yourself and your kids to the hospital, especially if your labors are usually short. It will all work out!
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