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Old 05-03-2011, 07:44 PM   #1
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Chat Thread - May 2-8th

Who we are:

abbi_n_nadia
First Name: Abbi
Children/adopted,bio,or foster/ages: Nadia (biodd) 4 1/2, Zoe (biodd) 16 months
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process: preparing financially for a domestic adoption and hoping to start the process within a year.

Aleta
First Name: Aleta
Children/adopted, bio,or foster/ages: Four bio girls (2,4,6,8 years)
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process: I'm working on our portfolio while DH is deployed, will finish our homestudy when he gets back in December and then our portfolio will go 'active'

amyltc
First Name: Amy
Children/adopted,bio,or foster/ages: Allie (biodd) 5, Hannah (biodd) 3
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process: Putting in our application in June

andtwomore
I'm Mel, bio mama to M (14) J (12) E (11) C (8) A (3)
We are COMPILING DOSSIER! to bring home our precious special needs " S" from Eastern Europe : )

Beth.
First Name: Beth
Children: Samantha (3), Addison (1) - we adopted both as newborns through a private agency
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process: Successfully navigating two open adoptions and glad we never have to do another homestudy!

bug2003
First Name: Tami
Children/adopted,bio,or foster/ages: Bio: Brandon (8) and Edward (5), Adopted: Emma and Ellie (4 week old twins)
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process: Placed with twin girls, waiting for finalization (6 more months)

Evie's Mama
Name: Elizabeth
Children: Evelyn (2.5 yo biodd) and Annabelle (8 mo biodd)
Process: We are in the homestudy process to get approved to do a infant/toddler adoption from Ethiopia

ihvnangel
First name: Chandra
Children: *Sarah our Angel in Heaven~forever 5* Noah 12, Jonah 10, Hannah 5, and Luke 4 (all bios)
Where are you in the foster/adopt process: We have turned in a good portion of our paperwork, had background checks, and fingerprinting all done. Had first PRIDE class on Saturday! YAY!! We have to do 9 sessions a total of 27 hours. Our last class will be on May 14th and hoping that it won't be too long after that till we get a placement! So excited about it all.

jenfostermom
First Name: Jen
Children/adopted,bio,or foster/ages: Andrew (11, biods), Isaac (9, biods), Ella (8, biodd), Olivia (6, biodd), Samuel (3, adopted ds), and Jonah (2, DS)
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process: We have been actively fostering for 4.5 years we are open for more placements, we have space for 2 more and would prefer girls but in all honesty would take a boy if it's a newbie. We only take 0-18mos long term, but have taken bigger kids (up to 6 yrs old) for a short time.

Katiesara
First name: Katie
Children: no children yet
Where are you in the foster/adopt process: Recently certified for foster care and awaiting our first placement. Will become certified to adopt from foster care this summer after our we reach our second anniversary.

looking8186
Name: Kelsey
Children: Havana (20 month old bio dd) and "J-bug" 4 yr old dfs
Process: We have been fostering for aprox 4 years now and have had 10 kids ages newbie-7. It has been quite the journey but I love it! Our lo's have stayed anywhere between 2 yrs and 2 days, most for atleast a month. I adore fostering and hope to get into fostering drug addicted and medically fragile newborns/babies when my dd's special needs are worked out a bit more.

luvbeingmama
I have 1 bio child and 1 foster placement. This is our 1st placement and it's a 8 month old baby girl. We have had her in our care for about 3 weeks.

mariegal
First Name: Marie
Children/adopted,bio,or foster/ages: B (adopted)
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process: waiting for a match

Newton
Name: Erica
Children: 1 biodd L (she's 2 and a half next week!)
Where we are in the process: we completed all our paperwork and handed in back in Oct/10. We have to work with the agency in the region we live and they did nothing with our file to date. I just spent 6 weeks doing paperwork to switch to a faith based agency the next town over, we are only eligible to work with them b/c of the faith thing.

orangepiggyslittledog
First Name: Mish
Children/adopted,bio,or foster/ages: Bio 11 FG 1 yr FG doing respite for 2yr old
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process - approved for foster care...have children in our care

sillyutalktome
First name: Jeanette
Children: M (biodd, 2)
Where are you in the foster/adopt process: We have our homestudy TODAY. Last step in licensing (though I'm thinking I forgot to do an online training) I am totally freaking out. We are hoping to foster/adopt a sibling set. We are hoping for 7 and under, and boys. We'll see what they license us for and what God decides

~Snoopy~
First Name: Vanessa
Children/adopted, bio,or foster/ages: Zoelle-Bio (3.5 years old), Meridian-Bio (1.5 years old), and Xiomara-Adopted (9 months old)
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process: Placed with our beautiful little girl last July. Also, I am a big sister to 11 adopted siblings all through foster care!

stacieandtheboys
First Name: Stacie
Children: 2 bio sons 9 & 5
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process: We are just getting started. Our goal is adopting a little girl under 2. We are also ttc.

sweets
First Name: Christina
Children/adopted,bio,or foster/ages: Bio DS8 DD6
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process: We are matched with a baby girl due in August. Working with the lawyers in the state emom is, parental placement route, and fundraising.

WynnBabies
First Name: Anny
Children/adopted,bio,or foster/ages: Bio DSs 10, 8, 5 & 2
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process: Licensed foster parents mainly taking concurrent. No actual placements as of yet.

Newmommy13
First Name: Ingrid
Children/adopted,bio,or foster/ages: bio dd Amelia, 3 years old
Where you are at in the foster/adopt process - exploring our options!

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Old 05-03-2011, 07:52 PM   #2
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Re: Chat Thread - May 2-8th

Today was our post adoption "safety check" walk through by the foster placement agency. Our foster license has been on hold since Jonah's bio-parents rights were terminated last fall, so they just had to check out what we have for beds and space now that the adoption is done to lift our hold and allow us to get placements again. That all went well - we have space for 2 more of either gender.

So this afternoon I posted about the safety check on facebook and a former SW who is my fb friend commented on my status asking how many foster openings we have. She then PM'd me a placement offer. Whoa!! Shocked at how fast that happened, and I forgot HOW HARD it is to decide about taking or passing on a placement offer. DH and I decided to pray about it overnight and decide tomorrow, but we are leaning toward saying no this time. We both just really feel like there's another baby in our future. This placement is a sibling set of 2 biracial girls (we would LOVE girls as well as the biracial part) who are 2.5 and 18 mos who are being moved from their current foster home because the FPs are not preadoptive. The TPR on these girls would move forward quickly as soon as they are placed in their adoptive home.

Aaarrrrgggghhhhh so hard to decide, WWYD mamas???
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Old 05-03-2011, 08:34 PM   #3
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Re: Chat Thread - May 2-8th

Oh what a hard decision. They would be your last two to adopt right? I have no real advice. Their ages would be fun for sure! I kinda wish you could send them to me, lol. I guess sleep, pray and wait. You'll find your decision.

I have baby fever so bad. Like it's killing me I swear. We weren't even hoping for a foster baby but dd just keeps bringing it up and now I really, really want a little baby. I have to go get my social security card replaced and the social worker can turn in our homestudy. It's the last final piece!
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Old 05-03-2011, 09:01 PM   #4
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Re: Chat Thread - May 2-8th

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Originally Posted by sillyutalktome View Post
Oh what a hard decision. They would be your last two to adopt right? I have no real advice. Their ages would be fun for sure! I kinda wish you could send them to me, lol. I guess sleep, pray and wait. You'll find your decision.

I have baby fever so bad. Like it's killing me I swear. We weren't even hoping for a foster baby but dd just keeps bringing it up and now I really, really want a little baby. I have to go get my social security card replaced and the social worker can turn in our homestudy. It's the last final piece!
Yup they would be the end of our fostering and adopting....
and I have baby fever too really really bad, so wrapping my head around not having another baby ever is sad....praying on it overnight and seeing what DH and I feel in the morning.
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Old 05-03-2011, 09:49 PM   #5
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Re: Chat Thread - May 2-8th

Huge Jen. I hear you talk about fostering and I just so wish we could do it now, but the time isn't right for us.

So we decided to forgo our next cycle of treatments and go ahead with adoption. So unless I get pg. this cycle we are putting in our application the end of the month! I need to get started on it.
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Old 05-04-2011, 08:09 AM   #6
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Re: Chat Thread - May 2-8th

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Originally Posted by jenfostermom View Post
Yup they would be the end of our fostering and adopting....
and I have baby fever too really really bad, so wrapping my head around not having another baby ever is sad....praying on it overnight and seeing what DH and I feel in the morning.
What a hard decision. One, you'd be guaranteed 2 little girls most likely to adopt awesome opportunity. But one that so many would jump at.

If I was offered this opportunity, my initial reaction would be yes. We want girls too. My husband has 4 grown boys and we have our DFS soon to adopt.

Then I would start thinking: The ages are young although 18 months and younger is always an easier transition. The 18 month old would bond pretty easy natuarally because of age. The 2.5 year old would take more effort. I have found the 2.5 - 4 year age the hardest when fostering.

Could I add 2 children most likely permanent at one time and still give my DFS what he needs and them what they need. Also we got DFS as newborn, its like he was made for us ... not sure if it personality or because he has been with us from beginning. I always wanted to get to do the newborn thing once but once you have it is hard to imagine never getting to do it again.

Before we got placed with DFS we almost got a sibling group similiar ages 1-2. It would have been good then but we wouldn't have been ready for our newborn DFS. Shortly after we were placed with DFS we were asked about taking another sibling group 2-3 years but felt it would be too hard to try and bond/transition 3 at one time.

So with all that said, if I was offered same as you. Even with my initial thought being yes, I think ultimately we would say no. It would be awesome if they were placed with a couple with either no children or 1-2 older children (school age) so that they could be the babies.

But if it was just a foster placement for shorter time, we'd say yes and get into loving, childcare mode. For us there is a different mindset for foster vs preadopt. I had my own childcare home for 10+ years before switching to fostercare. So I kinda compartmentalize.

This is just what I would do. I feel like I am above average at handling multiple children at one time as you seem to be. I still keep 2 childcare children and most time have 4-5 kids in care at a time.

I don't personally know you so whatever you decide works for your family will be the right choice. If these 2 girls are meant for your home then they will be a good fit ... so follow your gut!!!

Congrats for your sons adoption ... hoping to get DFS adopted by end of year maybe even by his first birthday.
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Old 05-04-2011, 09:46 AM   #7
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Re: Chat Thread - May 2-8th

Jen, how do you feel today about it? I totally understand your feelings about it.

Well, I received a call yesterday for a preemie who was born almost 3.5 months ago at only 25 weeks. I didn't even get the exact week gestation age until later after I had agreed to take her. It was possible I'd get her today, but because I haven't received a call (and the worker is off today) they must have decided to keep her. Sounds like an interesting situation as mom is there everyday but has a "significant history" among other things, so who knows. Sounds maybe low functioning by the way the worker was talking? Sounds like this placement could go either way as far as ending up being one we can adopt. Long term placement anyway. I'm actually really nervous as I didn't really think about all the preemie issues beforehand, but we shall see. She's still on oxygen (not sure if it's full-time or part-time) but I guess is doing pretty well. I did have one preemie myself, but he was not nearly that early and only spent 10 days in the NICU, but at least it makes some of the terms familiar to me. The worker will be calling me tomorrow to give me an update and if it's going to be a week, I'd like to visit her. She's about 30 minutes away from me in a hospital in a different county, but I am familiar with that area.
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Old 05-04-2011, 10:53 AM   #8
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Re: Chat Thread - May 2-8th

Jen, good luck on your decision. That's got to be a hard one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amyltc View Post
So we decided to forgo our next cycle of treatments and go ahead with adoption. So unless I get pg. this cycle we are putting in our application the end of the month! I need to get started on it.
Whoo hoo! Good luck on submitting your application. Just to let you know, it may take the agency a bit to contact you for interviews/starting the home study once you submit. I was all prepared for them to call me right away and I think it was about a month later before we got the call about our application. I was about ready to call them to make sure they got our application since we had mailed it.

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Originally Posted by WynneBabies View Post
Jen, how do you feel today about it? I totally understand your feelings about it.

Well, I received a call yesterday for a preemie who was born almost 3.5 months ago at only 25 weeks. I didn't even get the exact week gestation age until later after I had agreed to take her. It was possible I'd get her today, but because I haven't received a call (and the worker is off today) they must have decided to keep her. Sounds like an interesting situation as mom is there everyday but has a "significant history" among other things, so who knows. Sounds maybe low functioning by the way the worker was talking? Sounds like this placement could go either way as far as ending up being one we can adopt. Long term placement anyway. I'm actually really nervous as I didn't really think about all the preemie issues beforehand, but we shall see. She's still on oxygen (not sure if it's full-time or part-time) but I guess is doing pretty well. I did have one preemie myself, but he was not nearly that early and only spent 10 days in the NICU, but at least it makes some of the terms familiar to me. The worker will be calling me tomorrow to give me an update and if it's going to be a week, I'd like to visit her. She's about 30 minutes away from me in a hospital in a different county, but I am familiar with that area.
Good luck with the preemie placement. I hope all goes well with it.
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Old 05-04-2011, 02:44 PM   #9
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Re: Chat Thread - May 2-8th

Anny: SO EXCITING about the preemie....can't wait to hear more!!
Amy: Congrats on your decision, it can't have been an easy one to make. Hugs!!

Well, DH and I have decided not to take the placement of the girls. It's a heart-wrenching choice since the fact that they are in the grey area for the ages we would take, they are GIRLS and biracial too - are all really attractive to us - and if it was just one we would for sure, but I just can't close the door on another drug/medically fragile newbie. I just know that's what God has anointed me for and I need to be obedient. We are also nervous about attachment and how our toddlers would do with two more attention-seeking toddlers in the house.

It's so hard to say no....but we didn't feel peace about saying yes and each time we have taken LO's we have felt a resounding yes in our hearts along with peace when it was right. Not sure if that makes sense...
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Old 05-04-2011, 05:02 PM   #10
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Re: Chat Thread - May 2-8th

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Originally Posted by jenfostermom View Post
Anny: SO EXCITING about the preemie....can't wait to hear more!!
Amy: Congrats on your decision, it can't have been an easy one to make. Hugs!!

Well, DH and I have decided not to take the placement of the girls. It's a heart-wrenching choice since the fact that they are in the grey area for the ages we would take, they are GIRLS and biracial too - are all really attractive to us - and if it was just one we would for sure, but I just can't close the door on another drug/medically fragile newbie. I just know that's what God has anointed me for and I need to be obedient. We are also nervous about attachment and how our toddlers would do with two more attention-seeking toddlers in the house.

It's so hard to say no....but we didn't feel peace about saying yes and each time we have taken LO's we have felt a resounding yes in our hearts along with peace when it was right. Not sure if that makes sense...

Following Gods peace is alway the right choice.

We got placed with our little boy because the family that adopted his too sisters didn't have peace about taking him. It was a heartwrenching decision for them but God had a different plan for him.

What was amazing is that we have a mutual friend with the adoptive parents. So eventhough the siblings will not all be raised in the same home, they will be able to be in each others lives.

I am so grateful that the family was obedient to the Lord because now we have our son.
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