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Old 05-05-2011, 02:01 PM   #1
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If someone was considering fostering to adopt....

If someone you know already had young children and was considering fostering to adopt, what would you tell them? Advice?


We considered FC a few years back them found out we were expecting our first daughter and put the idea on hold. Now we have 4 children ages 6yrs down to 16 months, and dh has had a vasectomy. We both greatly regret it and feel our family is missing someone...a little boy. Yes, I have my hands full already, no we aren't perfect parents, but I do feel like we could provide a safe, loving home for another child. Assuming it would be a few months before everything was approved, we would be looking at children 2 & under so they would be younger than our youngest. Plus, we are in the process of buying a home, so we wouldn't start anything until we were settled. I'd even be willing to take a sibling group, but we don't have a large enough vehicle for that right now.

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Old 05-05-2011, 02:47 PM   #2
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Re: If someone was considering fostering to adopt....

I would say go ahead and make a call! Ive done plenty of research and im kind of nervous to make the call. But its the first step and you wont be obligated to do anything at all.

I have a thread about this, we were trying to decide how to grow our family and settled On foster to adopt. Adoption in general is a hard road. But in a lot of cases so is pregnancy.
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Old 05-05-2011, 06:46 PM   #3
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Re: If someone was considering fostering to adopt....

You also might want to talk to your children and explain what fostering is and that the children that you foster may not stay with your family forever. We had considered fos/adopt, but our oldest had a hard time with the concept of a child being in our home for awhile and then not, so we didn't pursue that at the time. Our oldest has high functioning autism so he has a hard time with things changing.

As long as the whole family is in agreement, then I'd go for it. Of course you would need to explain it to your kids in a way that they'd be able to understand that you'd be helping these kids.
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Old 05-06-2011, 06:46 AM   #4
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Re: If someone was considering fostering to adopt....

I would tell you to go for it...that's the exact situation we were in 4 years ago. Our bio kids were 2,4,6,8 and I had my tubes tied while I was massively depressed post partum. I knew we were always supposed to adopt, but part of me is still sad we made the permanent decision. We got licensed when our "baby" was 2, and our first placement a few weeks later. It took a little over a year to get our first baby we could adopt, then 9 mos later our second adoptable one. It's been great to both foster and see them go home as well as adopt. We can't wait for our next one....if you have the desire to foster/adopt I say just do it.

Hope that helps from someone who has "been there, done that"....feel free to PM me if you have questions, I'm always very happy to chat about our experiences.
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Old 05-06-2011, 08:40 AM   #5
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Re: If someone was considering fostering to adopt....

I'd also suggest making the call to your county DCS (or whatever it's called there). Some counties don't need homes for children that young (ours is one of those) or at least not many homes. They will tell you that you can still go through the process and all but if you are not open to children at least 8 or so years old and older you may never get a placement. We decided that we are open to that if that's what our area needs so we are going ahead with taking the classes and all anyway, but it took us a few years after finding that out to decide we are okay with it. Oh, and my oldest is 5 and we have 3 kids total with one on the way ! Haven't 'been there done that' but going there to do that !
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Old 05-06-2011, 09:43 AM   #6
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Re: If someone was considering fostering to adopt....

Are you only willing to foster/adopt a child that is younger than your youngest?

In NC (at least in my county, but I think it's a NC rule) you can only have five kids in the home, so you would not be able to foster a sibling group since you already have four kids.
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Old 05-06-2011, 10:10 AM   #7
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Re: If someone was considering fostering to adopt....

I say go for it! There are so many kids that need a better home than what they are in now. You could even start the process, then make the call for placemement when you know you're ready. We fos/adopted our DD. I didn't think I was ready, since our youngest was only 2, but things fell in place and we never looked back.
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Old 05-06-2011, 11:37 AM   #8
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Re: If someone was considering fostering to adopt....

That is kind of where we are at in a way. I have had all c-sections and the last one I ended up needing a blood transfusion. Then I have had major abdominal surgery too many times to count and the last time was to fix a hernia (ended up being 3 hernias, and removing about 2 ft of small intestines...) so all that to say medically I don't think getting pg again is wise. We have four living and one child in Heaven. I still feel like we are missing someone.. so we are going into foster and hoping to adopt. Our state doesn't have a strictly adopt status the main goal is reunification with parents. I am not sure how many will actually return and how many may be open for adopting.. right now we too are going to ask for younger then our baby, he is 4. So hoping for newborn to 3 years old girls. We can only take two since we already have four in the home and six is max here.
If I were you I would go ahead and make the call and just maybe see how the process goes there, how long classes are, how long it takes to get a homestudy done etc..etc.. That way you can maybe get the ball rolling and know how long it will take till you would be ready for a little one to come into your home. Here in OK they do things pretty fast so far! My CW said they like to have you go from initial contact to fully licensed in 90 days. Our classes are 27 hours. Anyways best of luck to you in deciding!!
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Old 05-06-2011, 01:04 PM   #9
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Re: If someone was considering fostering to adopt....

Same here.Ours are 10, 8, 5 and 2. Feel our family is not complete so this is the path we've chosen for now. We'll only take younger than our youngest. The process from then first call to being officially licensed took about 6 months.
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Old 05-07-2011, 06:51 AM   #10
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Re: If someone was considering fostering to adopt....

just wanted to add that the max kids in our county is 8. so you have quite a range, its possible that you could get siblings/more than one.
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