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Old 05-18-2011, 08:40 AM   #1
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Birthday invitations from kids you don't even know?

Maybe I am the only one that thinkgs this way..not sure. But DD goes to a Christian pre-school 2 days a week for 4 hours. I pass parents dropping their children off but no one really speaks to each other/we are all in a hurry to get to work, drop other kids off, etc. DD's in the "nursery" class, i.e. the youngest class and so its everyones first year obviously. DD has been going a year but I still couldn't tell you more than 2-3 kids names out of 20 kids. I don't know any of the parents and don't see the parents talking to each other. So today I receive the second birthday invitation from someone in her class. I have NO idea who this kid is much less anything about them or their family. We never attended the first birthday party we received an invite from nor will we be attending this one. It actually clashes with one of my/my daughters friends parties that we are going too. But I just find it really unusual that we are getting invites to birthday parties for children that I don't know. I didn't invite anyone from DD's class to her birthday in December because I/we don't know any of them and that just seems super awkward to me. Having someone show up for my daughters party and having no clue who they are??? Just weird to me. Is this customary for pre-schools? I can understand inviting the entire class once she gets older and is going more than 8 hours a week but not at this point. I see birthday parties when they are young a time for family and close friends to celebrate and wonder if these parents are just out for gifts. I'm not sure what to think..maybe I am the weird one

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Old 05-18-2011, 08:46 AM   #2
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Re: Birthday invitations from kids you don't even know?

Sounds like a nice excuse for a playdate and casual conversation to me. I'd welcome the opportunity to get to know some of these other moms.
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:03 AM   #3
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It may be a rule that if you're inviting one child from the class, you have to invite everyone. So no one gets left out. Also, you may not know these kids but your LO does.

We got several of these invites at DS's last preschool. We didn't go to any.

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Old 05-18-2011, 09:04 AM   #4
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Re: Birthday invitations from kids you don't even know?

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Originally Posted by danner View Post
Sounds like a nice excuse for a playdate and casual conversation to me. I'd welcome the opportunity to get to know some of these other moms.


I taught at a full day preschool, where several parents knew one another, but most did not. There was no "official" drop off or pick up time and parents met in passing. But many got to know one another by inviting their child's class for birthday parties. The rule we asked parents to follow regarding party invitations was to mail invitations if everyone wasn't invited. If everyone in the class was invited we gladly placed an invite in the child's cubby for mom or dad to pick up. <-- This may be the reason for the invites. We watched lots of parent friendships blossom after a child's birthday party!
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:29 AM   #5
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Re: Birthday invitations from kids you don't even know?

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Originally Posted by MommaKatie View Post


I taught at a full day preschool, where several parents knew one another, but most did not. There was no "official" drop off or pick up time and parents met in passing. But many got to know one another by inviting their child's class for birthday parties. The rule we asked parents to follow regarding party invitations was to mail invitations if everyone wasn't invited. If everyone in the class was invited we gladly placed an invite in the child's cubby for mom or dad to pick up. <-- This may be the reason for the invites. We watched lots of parent friendships blossom after a child's birthday party!
I'd probably give it a chance if I didn't have another obligation, seems like a good opportunity to meet some of the other parents.
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:51 AM   #6
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Re: Birthday invitations from kids you don't even know?

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Sounds like a nice excuse for a playdate and casual conversation to me. I'd welcome the opportunity to get to know some of these other moms.
Yup!

However, I can see the flip side of it being a little awkward too.
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Old 05-18-2011, 10:09 AM   #7
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Thanks for the replies. I haven't tried to make any mommy friends at the school bc most are too mainstream for me lol. Most my mommy friends are from LLL ... But we won't be going to any party this weekend. I just found out my mamaw died this morning

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Old 05-18-2011, 10:14 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by danner
Sounds like a nice excuse for a playdate and casual conversation to me. I'd welcome the opportunity to get to know some of these other moms.
This is how I feel.

I think it's hard to find friends with similarly aged kids. So, the kids in a class would be ideal.

But at that age, I'd have made the birthday party more of a celebration and meet and greet and said 'no gifts, please'. Cause it also seems like birthday parties when the kid can't enjoy it are like asking for gifts.

I think we're going to do a big 1st birthday for Maggie. In some cultures, the 1st birthday is huge due to the rarity that babies used to survive that long (SIDS, etc). We didn't get her dedicated before hubby deployed, so we'll do that too. But I don't want people to feel like we want gifts - just to celebrate the end of the first year!
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Old 05-18-2011, 11:37 AM   #9
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Re: Birthday invitations from kids you don't even know?

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Originally Posted by TalkinBoutMyGirl View Post
Thanks for the replies. I haven't tried to make any mommy friends at the school bc most are too mainstream for me lol. Most my mommy friends are from LLL ... But we won't be going to any party this weekend. I just found out my mamaw died this morning

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I am so sorry for your loss.

To answer your OP, we personally do on family only birthday parties until the age of 4. At age 4, we invite everyone in the class because the child knows them and the party is for the child. It's also a great way to watchthe kids in action, develop friendships with parents, and encourage stronger friendships between your child and other children they seem to really click with. It also helps you know which ones it might be better to not foster a closer relationship with.
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Old 05-18-2011, 11:39 AM   #10
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Re: Birthday invitations from kids you don't even know?

Your daughter knows the children. I think it would be fun for her to see her classmates outside of school. We go to all of the birthday parties. I really want my daughter to have the chance to socialize in different settings. Not to mention that parties are just so much fun for children.
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