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Old 05-20-2011, 06:08 PM   #1
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How would you have handled this? was I wrong?

Today there was a little carnival at DD's preschool. THe teachers and volunteers ran the games.
The Director was doing animal balloons but her knowledge is limited. DD asked for a butterfly because she's gotten those before at parties. The director tried her best.
DD looked it at weird and pouted. I tried to console her and tell her Miss Becky tried her best for her and then DD threw a fit saying she didnt want it. I tried to pull her on the side to talk to her but she refused. like crossing her arms and saying and no and then crying. My grandma was there as well. Now, gma used to babysit when I was still working, and she lets DD do whatever she wants. she's not really disciplined at all with her.
I again asked DD to come to me away from the crowd and she started to run away to gma. She kept refusing to come, and started screaming.
So I said, ok lets go home. My gma tells me no, dont make her leave. but I said no she's leaving. My gma then gets mad at ME and says I'm making her sick and storms off.
I finally get DD into an empty classroom and talk to her. she calms down and apologizes and we go back to the carnival and play more games.

ok, when she acts like that, refusing to listen, I normally just say we're going home. If she straightens up and apologizes, we stay. if not, we leave.
But my parenting makes my gma sick? was I that wrong? How would you have handled it?

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Old 05-20-2011, 06:14 PM   #2
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Re: How would you have handled this? was I wrong?

I would have handled it very similarly. I would have tried to get the boys in a secluded spot see if they get it together, if they did return to the event and if they did not then leave. We have left things before. For Brady it really only took having to leave once to get his attention. Its probably harder for your dd to behave around gma. I see that with my bf's dd. Her gma is the sweetest most wonderful lady but she can't tell the kids no and lets us know that. She lets them stay up as late as they want, etc...so when gma is here my bf's dd has a much harder time behaving. I pull her away for a bit and she's back on track.
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Old 05-20-2011, 06:23 PM   #3
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Re: How would you have handled this? was I wrong?

i would have done the same thing....gma is outta line in my opinion, especially to say you are making her sick LOL that is really harsh considering you are being a good parent and not letting your child just act like a brat and get away with it
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Old 05-20-2011, 06:29 PM   #4
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Re: How would you have handled this? was I wrong?

thanks. I was starting to think I was out of line for making her leave.
I tried to give her a chance. she just kept screaming and crying. I tried to calmly pull her aside to talk to her and she ran away.
It bugs me because she gets away with everything with gma, but gma also goes against me if I try to discipline. If I put her on time out at her house, gma just keeps commenting, poor thing, let her out.
and yes, DD does act more like a brat when gma is around. she knows she can get away with certain things. and gma always says dd doesnt listne to her. She thinks it's cause she's old and DD takes advantage. No.... its cause you let her do whatver she wants
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Old 05-20-2011, 06:44 PM   #5
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Re: How would you have handled this? was I wrong?

Well, I'd have been worse actually. If my dd acted that way we'd have been gone, no second chances. Otherwise, is the apology really an apology or just a way to be able to stay at the activity, kwim? Gma is out of line. You are the mom. Your kid. Your rules.
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Old 05-20-2011, 06:45 PM   #6
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Re: How would you have handled this? was I wrong?

The only thing I would have done differently is if I had said we were leaving, we would have actually left, as in gone home. If I didn't actually mean it (seems like you didn't) I would have warned her that she had to get herself together if she wanted to stay.

It seems like you let her get away with things too, just in a different way. (Saying you're leaving then not actually leaving)

And of course gma is WAY out of line, to the point that we would not be seeing her for awhile - saying things like that undermines your authority. It's poison and will seep into your relationship with your daughter.
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Old 05-20-2011, 06:59 PM   #7
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Re: How would you have handled this? was I wrong?

I think you handled the situation fine with grandma. I had a very similar situation a few years ago at Christmas when one of my boys was starting to misbehave. I took him upstairs to talk to him alone and my dads wife followed me making a big deal about it. I was SO upset. You are the parent and you make the rules, not grandma. Good for you sticking up to gma. Like the pp though we would have left, if I have to threaten it, then I have to follow through otherwise my boys will try it again next time.

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Old 05-20-2011, 07:09 PM   #8
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Re: How would you have handled this? was I wrong?

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Originally Posted by savmaralamommy View Post
Well, I'd have been worse actually. If my dd acted that way we'd have been gone, no second chances. Otherwise, is the apology really an apology or just a way to be able to stay at the activity, kwim? Gma is out of line. You are the mom. Your kid. Your rules.
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Originally Posted by danner View Post
The only thing I would have done differently is if I had said we were leaving, we would have actually left, as in gone home. If I didn't actually mean it (seems like you didn't) I would have warned her that she had to get herself together if she wanted to stay.

It seems like you let her get away with things too, just in a different way. (Saying you're leaving then not actually leaving)

And of course gma is WAY out of line, to the point that we would not be seeing her for awhile - saying things like that undermines your authority. It's poison and will seep into your relationship with your daughter.
I agree with both of these posts. I would have handled it similarly, but we would have left once my child started refusing to talk to me, and running away.
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Old 05-20-2011, 07:34 PM   #9
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Re: How would you have handled this? was I wrong?

Yup. One & done with us here. I don't negotiate with terrorists
My hubby would have stayed with our oldest & walked home with him, so he wouldn't have had to miss out due to little brother.
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Old 05-20-2011, 07:54 PM   #10
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Re: How would you have handled this? was I wrong?

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Originally Posted by formunkyfrommommy View Post
i would have done the same thing....gma is outta line in my opinion, especially to say you are making her sick LOL that is really harsh considering you are being a good parent and not letting your child just act like a brat and get away with it
THIS! Not to mention YOU are the parent!
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