How exactly does co-sleeping/bedsharing work?

[Kiliki]

I really just think it's important to go with the flow with each kid. They are all different. As long as you are providing for their needs as best you can, and they are happy and satisfied, there is no need to feel like you are doing something wrong, or that you could be doing something "better".

I know there are a lot of benefits to co-sleeping, but it's not ideal for every family, every child, every situation. Some kids hate it, others love it. If I were a heavy sleeper, I would be really uneasy having a baby in my bed. It's just all so very subjective. If something is working for you and your family, don't feel the need to change it, just go with it! Your job is to make your babies happy and healthy and if you are doing that, you get major props! You don't have to do it a certain way to do a great job!

[palsmama]

We have been bedsharing since day one with our DS. Was th best for breast feeding and it just felt right and natural. So how it works for us has changed over the year. In the begininning when DS was just a baby and sleep wasn't really a routine and he went to bed late I would just go to bed when he did. Naps were in the carrier while I did chores around the house. At about 6 months DS got himself on a schedule and I would start to lay him down in our bed for naps. I would just go in nurse him down and leave. I still do this. At night he goes to bed before us so I just nurse him down and leave the room. One side of the bed is against the wall and the his crib is side-card to the other side.
DTD happens when DS in bed asleep for naps or night time. Location to be determined depending on mood but believe me it happens . Your bed isn't the only place you are allowed to DTD lol. He has now transitioned to sleeping in his crib( which is pretty much attached to the bed, we took the fron of the crib off and the mattresses line up perfect). I nurse him down in his crib and he sleeps through the night till 6 am when he crawls over for his morning feed. Night weaning and crib sleeping have been very smooth transitions because I feel like he was ready and I didn't force them on him.

[songbird516]

Originally Posted by sstarfish Has anyone co-slept/bedshared when their DH is a very light sleeper? I was thinking about getting a co-sleeper thing for the next baby and see how it goes, but if it will be too noisy for him..........? Maybe I just need to get DH a white noise machine

my husband is a very light sleeper. We have a fan in the room ( a heavy-duty floor-drying fan) and the baby sleeps on my side so that she doesn't hit him and wake him up. That actually works better than me having to get up several times a night.

[Sha-nanagins]

Originally Posted by Kiliki I really just think it's important to go with the flow with each kid. They are all different. As long as you are providing for their needs as best you can, and they are happy and satisfied, there is no need to feel like you are doing something wrong, or that you could be doing something "better". I know there are a lot of benefits to co-sleeping, but it's not ideal for every family, every child, every situation. Some kids hate it, others love it. If I were a heavy sleeper, I would be really uneasy having a baby in my bed. It's just all so very subjective. If something is working for you and your family, don't feel the need to change it, just go with it! Your job is to make your babies happy and healthy and if you are doing that, you get major props! You don't have to do it a certain way to do a great job!

I have to agree with Dr. William Sears on this one: "The best place for baby to sleep is where everyone in the family sleeps best." You have to go with what works for your family.

I'm the light sleeper in our family. I hear everything, so I generally can't sleep without a white noise machine. The thing that works best for us is I sleep in baby's room with baby, and DH sleeps in our bed. He simply cannot sleep with baby in bed with both of us, and I cannot sleep when baby is not there because I can never relax. And, of course, when baby wakes up in another room and cries, we all wake up because of the baby monitor set to deafening volume because of the white noise machine. Since he has a very sensitive mouth and tummy and cannot so much as pass gas in his sleep or sleep for more than an hour at a time when teething, that's a lot! Then DH's alarm goes off at whatever time he wants to get up that morning (and because of his work schedule, that can be any time between 5 am and 10 am, which further messes with my sleep).

Typically, baby goes to sleep in his crib. DH and I have the evening and our bed for whatever we want to do. When I'm ready to go to bed, I go to sleep in baby's room, and bring baby to bed with me when he wakes up. DH goes to bed whenever he pleases and gets up whenever he wants without waking me or baby, or vice versa. I know that wouldn't work for everyone, but we've found this is the way we get the most sleep.

[ArronDalesMama]

Originally Posted by sstarfish Just curious.... I've heard all the benefits, and I've never done it (other than a few desperate nights when a baby wouldn't settle down). So, I have a few questions: 1) My kids all go to bed hours before DH and I do. So how does that work when you bedshare? Do you still lay the baby/toddler down in your bed and walk away and close the door? (Just FYI, we don't CIO either. If the baby fusses when I lay them down, they aren't ready to sleep yet, and I either nurse them again and lay them back in the crib, or get them back up for a few minutes. Works for us!) 2)What about naps? I can lay any of my kids down in their beds and they will all sleep for 3 hrs w/o me. 3)What about *ahem* relations w/ your DH? When/where does that happen? 4)What about if you are out or visiting someone's house? How does the baby sleep then? Right now, my parents and my ILs both have extra beds and a pack and play set up at all times, so they are ready for weekend visits. I guess I'm just wondering if I want to try bedsharing w/ the next baby.... I really like how everything works right now w/ sleeping, but sometimes (especially when they were all little babies) I feel like they should be sleeping right next to me. Hope that I don't offend anyone.... I'm not criticizing any of your sleeping arrangements, I'm just curious how it all works!

Ds is 2.5 and still cosleeps.

1. He falls asleep in our bed with one of us, while we watch a movie. Then when he is out cold I or dh gets ups and we keep the door open and the dog sleeps with him. Lol.
2. Naps where ever he falls asleep unless in the car then we just lay him in our bed or his whichever is not piled with laundry.
3. *ahem* happens on the couch, the table, the counter, the bathroom, the bedroom, the washer, the hall. Our *ahem* life is healthy.
4. With us in the bed. But traveling is rare. My mom just visited and we stayed with my brother, dh stayed home to work, and my mom, ds and I all slept in the same bed.

To add: ds has a twin bed. Never slept in a crib or pack n play (at home, at daycare they would sometimes lay him down in the crib, but mostly their policy was where the baby falls asleep they stay there, never wake a sleeping baby) sometimes I put him in his bed when I go to bed if I feel like it, he will stay long enough for me to have the entire bed to myself and fall asleep then wakes me up. And his bed is in the same room as us. We only have one bedroom.