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Old 07-15-2011, 02:51 AM   #31
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Re: Circumcision - several questions, brit milah vs brit peri'ah

Hi there,

if you're still thinking about whether to or how to have your boys circumcision done, here's our story and our opinion. we have two boys, now 4 and 2 years old, and we had them both circed by a mohel, although we're not jewish either. a mohel is a pro and does not do nothing but that, and that's why he does it good. he did it quickly and neat. and yes, he did the whole thing including periah, which means after having the tip of the foreskin cut of, to also remove some of the remaining inner layer of the foreskin, that makes the circumcision a little bit tighter and gives more resistance against environmental influence like urine and later on infections and so on. we had them both been cut when they were about a year old. nowadays everything's fine with them, neat and tight. but, you guess, that's just our point of view.

We really would like to hear what your decision is/will be..

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Old 07-15-2011, 05:31 AM   #32
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Re: Circumcision - several questions, brit milah vs brit peri'ah

Depending on where you are, Peds probably have the most practical experience. Typically in a military hospital system (that's where dh practices) the Peds do the circs. So asking a urologist or a plastic surgeon to do one, is going to get you a guy who hasn't seen or done an infant circ since he rotated through Peds during med school. If you choose a urologist or a plastic surgeon, ask how many they do a year.

In some places the OB's do them, and that might make you feel better because technically they are surgeons, and do a surgery-type residency, so they are used to cutting and all that jazz.
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Old 07-15-2011, 08:01 AM   #33
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Re: Circumcision - several questions, brit milah vs brit peri'ah

I would think you can call around and ask pedi offices, along with your OB. Depending on where you live, I'd think someone would be schooled in the ways of specific religious practices and you could then enroll with them for the coming birth of your son.

My oldest is circd. My youngest is intact. I have no stance on one vs the other really except I did my oldest out of just doing it because it's just what you do with boys. 10 years ago, it was the norm. You didn't over think it, you just did it(like vit K shots or newborn photos). We didn't do our youngest because we aren't religious and felt like the choice then wasn't ours to make since it is his body(and we didn't follow a religious belief that supersedes that notion). The trauma of birth was enough for that little cute cuddly face. So we didn't. My personal guilt(and the scar my oldest bears) is that I made a choice by not making a choice. Parenting fail 101.

I think your reasons are wonderful. You obviously care about both religion & your child. You've researched it and thought it out. You are trying your best to find the right person to perform this religious rite. You're doing what a good mama does for the love of her child. I don't think you deserve any flames for doing such a great job! I hope you find the answers you are looking for. Good luck!
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Old 07-15-2011, 10:45 AM   #34
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Re: Circumcision - several questions, brit milah vs brit peri'ah

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Originally Posted by swedishmaiden View Post
Yes, several posts are making me re-think the urologist idea. I would think they have less experience circumcising than a pediatrician...especially when it comes to circumcision of infants (as opposed to adult circumcision due to health problems later in life)? I'm leaning more towards talking this out with our pediatrician for now, finding out his perspective and how he typically circumcises, and feeling out his response. I wonder if I would need a referral to a plastic surgeon or not. I'm a little scared of how much that might cost, but I would rather have this done minimally and pay for it than regret how it was done.

Abe_Haim, I appreciate your thoughts. I am very sorry that your experience was a painful one, but please know I am seeking to do what is best for our son and asking God to guide our decision. I very much want to make a choice that he (our son) will be happy with...but I also know men who wish they had been circumcised as infants, so I think it's more complicated than that. I am definitely putting a lot of thought into this and don't plan to make a choice rashly.

if God wanted babies to have foreskins, he'd create them so that they are born with them. why mess with his perfect creations?
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Old 07-15-2011, 10:49 AM   #35
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Re: Circumcision - several questions, brit milah vs brit peri'ah

what about a brit shalom?

Brit Shalom
Covenant of Peace

Brit Shalom is a non-cutting naming ceremony for newborn Jewish boys. It may be performed by a Rabbi or an experienced lay leader. If desired, Celebrants can aid parents in devising their own ceremony. This ceremony replaces Brit Milah (ritual circumcision). It has also been termed Alternative Brit (or Bris), Brit b'li Milah (Covenant without cutting) and Brit Chayim (Covenant of Life). It is similar to the naming ceremony for girls.

In the 613 mitzvos, we are commanded to:

* (N 41) Not imprinting any marks on our bodies (Lev. 19:28)
* (N 45) Not making cuttings in our flesh (Deut. 16:1)
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Old 07-15-2011, 01:25 PM   #36
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Re: Circumcision - several questions, brit milah vs brit peri'ah

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Originally Posted by burnsis View Post
if God wanted babies to have foreskins, he'd create them so that they are born with them. why mess with his perfect creations?
Quote:
Originally Posted by burnsis View Post
what about a brit shalom?

Brit Shalom
Covenant of Peace

Brit Shalom is a non-cutting naming ceremony for newborn Jewish boys. It may be performed by a Rabbi or an experienced lay leader. If desired, Celebrants can aid parents in devising their own ceremony. This ceremony replaces Brit Milah (ritual circumcision). It has also been termed Alternative Brit (or Bris), Brit b'li Milah (Covenant without cutting) and Brit Chayim (Covenant of Life). It is similar to the naming ceremony for girls.

In the 613 mitzvos, we are commanded to:

* (N 41) Not imprinting any marks on our bodies (Lev. 19:28)
* (N 45) Not making cuttings in our flesh (Deut. 16:1)

Good grief this mama has already said she has made her decision! It isn't just this poster either. I know I try my hardest not to say something in the opposite decision if it is already made.
She is asking the difference in circ's not circ and uncirc'd and how to find someone to do it.
Why can't we respect a mamas decision and support her in it? I would say this even if it was with something I don't agree with.

I wasn't going to reply to this thread because I would just go to a Mohel if I had a son. I want to go to someone that does circ's the most. I am not Jewish but I have found out you don't have to be to have them perform the circ.
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Old 07-15-2011, 01:35 PM   #37
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Re: Circumcision - several questions, brit milah vs brit peri'ah

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Good grief this mama has already said she has made her decision! It isn't just this poster either. I know I try my hardest not to say something in the opposite decision if it is already made.
She is asking the difference in circ's not circ and uncirc'd and how to find someone to do it.
Why can't we respect a mamas decision and support her in it? I would say this even if it was with something I don't agree with.

I wasn't going to reply to this thread because I would just go to a Mohel if I had a son. I want to go to someone that does circ's the most. I am not Jewish but I have found out you don't have to be to have them perform the circ.
Perhaps they've made a decision, but there are others out there who may still be undecided. If I can save even one boy from this unnecessary act, I'll say something.
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Old 07-15-2011, 01:47 PM   #38
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Re: Circumcision - several questions, brit milah vs brit peri'ah

Quote:
Originally Posted by burnsis View Post
what about a brit shalom?

Brit Shalom
Covenant of Peace

Brit Shalom is a non-cutting naming ceremony for newborn Jewish boys. It may be performed by a Rabbi or an experienced lay leader. If desired, Celebrants can aid parents in devising their own ceremony. This ceremony replaces Brit Milah (ritual circumcision). It has also been termed Alternative Brit (or Bris), Brit b'li Milah (Covenant without cutting) and Brit Chayim (Covenant of Life). It is similar to the naming ceremony for girls.

In the 613 mitzvos, we are commanded to:

* (N 41) Not imprinting any marks on our bodies (Lev. 19:28)
* (N 45) Not making cuttings in our flesh (Deut. 16:1)
This seems like a wonderful idea! If you're truly just wanting to do it for religious reasons. When it comes down to it, if he does want to be circumcised for any reason, he'll have the choice if you leave him intact. If you circumcise him, then the choice is gone. I do applaud you for trying to take the least drastic route though. We've just had quite a few boys in our family who have had serious complications with their circumcisions. I know intact men who have had issues, but that's almost always because back in the day, their doctors told their mothers to pull back the skin and clean it, which of course, we know now is incredibly painful and dangerous! My son is intact and it's the easiest thing ever. Even at 5, we've discussed it (he was worried about his cousin's when it looked different than his) and he told us how horrible he thinks it is! And we explain very objectively, not in a harsh manner!
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Old 07-15-2011, 02:14 PM   #39
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Re: Circumcision - several questions, brit milah vs brit peri'ah

We went through the same thing my last pregnancy (didn't know if it was a boy or girl but wanted to be prepared if he was a boy). We wanted a mohel to perform it or have a ped or urologist do the Mogen clamp. Come to find out there are NO mohel's in our state (or surrounding areas) and they have to fly them in from L.A., AND there is NO ONE around here who does the Mogen clamp. So we just didn't circ in the end. But I understand what you're going for with this!!!
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Old 07-15-2011, 03:17 PM   #40
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Re: Circumcision - several questions, brit milah vs brit peri'ah

Thanks for the additional thoughts! We are still considering exactly what we are going to do, but DH just got a job in the area, which means we won't be moving. So I will probably start discussing this with our pediatrician soon to start with and go from there.

Sometimes I think girls are just easier, though I'm excited about our little guy!
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