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Old 06-14-2011, 09:01 AM   #21
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Re: Does anyone else's preemie get dismissed bc of their size or progress?

I can understand where people are coming from when they dismiss your baby as being a preemie. There are different classes of early birth that get different amounts of extra treatment. In my mind there is under 28 weeks, under 30 weeks, and under 34.

Even with my water already broken the doctors wanted me to make it to 34 weeks because by then DS would pretty much just be a small baby. That would have been 2 and a half weeks with a large risk of infection, but it was considered more risky to be born at that point. I'm pretty sure I've heard the goal for a lot of HOM is 34 weeks as well.
The little hospital in my little town lets women give birth there at 36 weeks because they consider it full term enough. So depending on what day of 35 weeks someone is and how sure they are of the conception date they might have a baby in a hospital that doesn't even plan on keeping babies in the nursery.

There are even different classes of preemie based on race and sex but those are probably only noted by OB's and specialist pediatricians.

If you're baby should have gotten the RSV shots would have been based on a lot of things, would your insurance cover it? Did DD have any breathing issues? Was she around a lot of other children? Did you ask the doctor about it? RSV isn't just a preemie illness, it's something that any child can get.

For schedules there is so much time for babies to do things anyway I'm not sure they matter all that much as long as the baby was born without complication. DS didn't walk until almost 14 months, that is still normal. DS only has two full teeth, that is on the far end of normal so I can subtract 8 weeks and make it normal. DS didn't roll over from front to back until 5 months, that's still normal. If someone had a baby at 37 weeks I don't think they would take off 3 weeks to compare their baby to a 40 week baby. For most things it really doesn't matter. Basically for reaching milestones the preemie weeks just give you a couple more weeks before you should worry about the kid being behind.

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Old 06-14-2011, 07:09 PM   #22
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Re: Does anyone else's preemie get dismissed bc of their size or progress?

I dont worry about DS being "behind" but I do see that sometimes it takes him a little longer and trust me I am OK with that. My first son passed away only hours after birth due to prematurity. I know the pain it is to walk away without your baby and I have no issues with my son being just the way he is. Part of the reason I am paranoid about my sons development has nothing to do with being five weeks early. I had a very difficult pregnancy and had to have a great deal of meds for most of my pregnancy just for my son to survive and I am scared to death that may cause some problem when he is older. They tell you it is safe but how can you be sure? Given the choice of meds or losing my baby again I obviously happily took the drugs but hated every minute. I just didn't mention it because I understand the feelings this mama has as I have been there too. I guess it will always go back to mostly just wanting to be understood. I totally get that we didn't have him in the 20 week range and I thank God for that because it was so close so many times. It makes me want to cry when I think about how close we came to losing him too. I spent my pregnancy on bedrest with my mom living with me as I could only go to the bathroom and have 15min showers for five months.(maybe more I forget when it started) It was worth every stay in the hospital every moment of pain and everything I went through to have this little stinker trying to push buttons as I type. (he is supposed to be sleeping!)
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Old 07-04-2011, 01:32 PM   #23
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Re: Does anyone else's preemie get dismissed bc of their size or progress?

I believe there are technical categories for this sort of thing. I had a preterm baby at 36.3 weeks (DD). DS was a full term baby who came a bit early at 37.5weeks. I believe premature is if they are under 34 weeks? And 35-37 weeks is considered pre-term, but not necessarily premature. And then there is another category of micro-preemies, which is another kettle of fish altogether obviously.

From my understanding, preterm babies generally level out with their peers by about 6 months. Premature babies take longer- I believe my friend's 35 weeker saw a pediatrician re. development for the first few years even. And my other friend's micro-preemie (20-something weeks, I can't remember exactly, but she was only a pound when she was born) will have forever issues.

Regardless, let go of the preemie thing, it's not worth the stress. My 'preterm' baby is going to be 3 soon and I can't remember the last time I even thought about her birth status as limiting her development, thank the lord.
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Old 07-11-2011, 12:40 PM   #24
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Re: Does anyone else's preemie get dismissed bc of their size or progress?

I haven't read all replies but I do think "older" preemies are impacted less by prematurity. Mine were on the older side at 34w5d. DS was in the NICU for 6 weeks and I got to see other (earlier) preemies there. From what I saw it seemed even 1 week of additional time in the womb made a big difference.

So I guess I can understand the mother of a 33-weeker attributing things to prematurity and I guess I'd give her that and let her have it if she wants, KWIM? My almost-35 weekers were not that behind--they crawled a little later and walked a little later (14 months) but it was still kind of in the range of normal (I walked late myself and I was full term, so I also chalked some of it up to genetics). My pedi said things were going to be a cross between their actual age and their adjusted age and I found that to be true. As my kids have gotten older (they are now 4 y.o.) the differences pretty much disappeared and I no longer consider them preemies at all. Whereas my friend who had 30 week preemies will always, always consider her DDs preemies. (One of them is so tiny -- she's 6 y.o. but is the size of a 3 y.o. -- that I think it would be hard for my friend to not consider prematurity when she looks at milestones.)
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Old 08-13-2011, 06:27 AM   #25
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Re: Does anyone else's preemie get dismissed bc of their size or progress?

My twins were born 4.5 weeks early and were considered preemies because of that, but they were born at 6lbs4oz and 5lbs15oz and grew like weeds from then on. Right now they are 13 months old in 24 month old clothes! 90th percentile for weight and around 70th for height. They are very smart little guys, but the only one who really asks about their skills and is concerned about it is their pediatrician (as far as him knowing what they "should" know at their actual ages and adjusted ages). If any little thing is slightly delayed, he says "well they were preemies" but if they excel in any area he doesn't really say much.

I don't completely understand because to me, the doctors might as well have called them full term babies. But I can see how some preemies it really is a factor to keep an eye on with their development. But then again, the teacher part of me says kids are individuals and learn skills at different ages/stages... You can't really pinpoint that a child SHOULD know a skill EXACTLY by a set age. I do AND don't get why doctors do that... But still
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