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Old 06-12-2011, 08:07 AM   #1
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Sticky fingers 12 yr old-WWYD?

I'll try to keep it short and sweet- soooonot my style.

My daughter is 10 and has a friend who also just turned 10. At this friend "Jane's" bday party, her blue Ipod turned up missing.

Jane is friends with a 12 yr old girl ("Molly") who lives nearby who was at the party. This girl has been caught lying and has also boasted to Jane about some of the things she has stolen from other friends.

A few days after the party, I let Jane and Molly spend the night (I had only just met Molly at Jane's bday party so did not know her well, but she seemed sweet- and she was very sweet... to my face) at our house, with my dd.

Ok, so then I hear about Jane's Ipod missing and how just the day after it went missing, Molly suddenly "found" her blue Ipod, that had been lost for a long time, in the back of her closet. Molly's parents refuse to let Jane and her mother see the Ipod to check it to see if Jane's name is on it. When you plug it in the computer, Jane's name comes up. To me it seems like an easy matter to settle. But, Molly's parents are... different? Is the nicest word I can think of and I think they don't want to prove Molly guilty, even if it is true.

So, none of this really concerns me. But, then last night Jane (sweet kid by the way- who I have known since birth) and my dd tell me about how Molly tried to steal my dd's MP3 player the night she spent the night at our house. Dd went to the bathroom, walked back in her room and Molly has her MP3 player, passing it off as belonging to some other friend. But somehow dd's MP3 is gone off of her dresser. Dd took the headphones from Molly and listened to the songs, told her it was most definitely hers. At which point, Molly backtracks and says she must have misplaced the MP3 player she had and that dd's "fell" into her bag (Um. Liar liar pants on fire. Lol.) I REALLY wish I had heard about this that night b/c I would have lit into this kid and called her parents.

Anyway, I am good friends with Jane's mom and really hate that this has happened. And, now that I find out she tried to lift something from MY house, it really gets under my skin.

This kid needs help. I doubt her parents know how to give it to her- or maybe they are the problem. But, I really really would love to get Jane's Ipod back to her.

Any ideas? I know this is kinda petty and I realize most likely I will have to just drop it and Molly will get away scot-free... but, thought it was worth a shot to pick your brains...

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Old 06-12-2011, 08:38 AM   #2
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Wow. What a sad thing. The girl is def too old to be playing with 10 year olds IMO if she has issues like that. What a bad influence.

Ok I thought it was your DDs ipod. Either way I would tell the parents to call the police. She really needs to learn a lesson.

Last edited by ktmelody; 06-12-2011 at 08:40 AM.
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Old 06-12-2011, 08:45 AM   #3
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Re: Sticky fingers 12 yr old-WWYD?

hmmm that's a tough one. I'll share my experience with you. I used to steal...at that same age too. I stole Barbie clothes from my friends mostly. I can honestly say it was purely out of jealousy. We didn't have money when I was little growing up and all my friends had nice things and I had...well in a 12yo eyes... nothing. I had used Barbies from garage sells and they had new EVERYTHING. Sometimes I'd get a new one for my birthday. My friends had all the mansions, cars, clothes, all the accessories... I had a used Barbie house that was 1/2 broken from a garage sell (that I loved by the way) I had used clothes from my moms 1950 barbies..which to a 12yo is kinda embarrassing, I had the cheap version of the convertible, etc.

It was most definatley a phase. I grew out of it later when I outgrew Barbies, but in your case mp3 players, ipods are going to be around for awhile and they are the new hot item for a pre-teen I think. If she seems to be stealing these items only and if it were me I would maybe think about buying her one and having a talk with her?! Nicely ofcourse, but ask her why she does it and that you know she does it and say I'm willing to give you this but I want the truth type of thing. ...I don't know, like I said it's a tough one, but I almost feel for her reading your post.

ETA: I do agree though that if you actually caught her I would try calling the cops just to put a little scare in her. So that she knows she can't get away with it.
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Last edited by Crew&West; 06-12-2011 at 08:48 AM.
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Old 06-12-2011, 08:47 AM   #4
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Re: Sticky fingers 12 yr old-WWYD?

I meant to say- neither my dd nor her friend are allowed to ever play with this girl again. I had no idea of the issues when I let her stay at our house. I was a bit wary and kept an eye on them, just b/c she is 2 yrs older and in middle school. But she seemed great.

Unfortunately, I think her parents are part of the issue. I already had an issue with her younger sister (I think she is 8) at the bday party. She told my barely-5 yr old he had to kiss her!! Luckily, he said no and I caught wind of it and monitored them (could be innocent little kid play- which I did not know she had actually told Owen he HAD to kiss her until later- but then I learned the little sister has major, weird lying issues).

I am positive her parents will not handle this right. But anyway to get the Ipod back???
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Old 06-12-2011, 08:50 AM   #5
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Re: Sticky fingers 12 yr old-WWYD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanner99 View Post
I meant to say- neither my dd nor her friend are allowed to ever play with this girl again. I had no idea of the issues when I let her stay at our house. I was a bit wary and kept an eye on them, just b/c she is 2 yrs older and in middle school. But she seemed great.

Unfortunately, I think her parents are part of the issue. I already had an issue with her younger sister (I think she is 8) at the bday party. She told my barely-5 yr old he had to kiss her!! Luckily, he said no and I caught wind of it and monitored them (could be innocent little kid play- which I did not know she had actually told Owen he HAD to kiss her until later- but then I learned the little sister has major, weird lying issues).

I am positive her parents will not handle this right. But anyway to get the Ipod back???
The parents won't give the ipod back?! Okay... I definatly blame the parents. You can call the cops and report stolen property. If you can plug it in the computer in front of the cops and "janes" name shows up on the thing they can't say it's not hers.

ETA: then yes after reading your second post it sounds like they have some issues. I wouldn't allow them to play with my kids either! I was thinking it was an innocent type of thing. Not that stealing is innocent, but the situation, kwim?!
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Last edited by Crew&West; 06-12-2011 at 08:52 AM.
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Old 06-12-2011, 08:52 AM   #6
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If it was my issue I would call the parents and tell them they have 48 hours to prove the ipod isnt thiers. Itunes keeps serial numbers of each synced ipod. If they cant then I would call the police and file a report.
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Old 06-12-2011, 09:02 AM   #7
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Call the police. Ipods are pretty expensive and if her own parents are allowing the stealing to occur, then there's potentially a bigger issue at play.
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Old 06-12-2011, 09:09 AM   #8
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Re: Sticky fingers 12 yr old-WWYD?

Our police will likely laugh, but I was thinking the *threat* of calling the police might make them cough it up? Just wondering if I/we were going too far.
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:50 PM   #9
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Re: Sticky fingers 12 yr old-WWYD?

We had a very similar situation with a neighbor girl and an iPod she found on the bus. Her mom was going to let her keep it even though my older kids knew who it belonged to and his name popped up when you turned it on "J____'s iPod". She brought it over to our house to show it off and my kids wouldn't give it back to her after they saw who's it was. Her mom started saying she was going to call the police. My kids told her to go ahead because the name of who it belonged to came up when it was turned on and they were going to give it back to him on the bus the next day. She sent her bf over and my dh talked to him. They left us alone after that but the neighbor girl wasn't allowed to play with my kids anymore. Oh well!! I would say the parents of the girl who it belongs to should call the police and explain the whole thing.
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:57 PM   #10
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Re: Sticky fingers 12 yr old-WWYD?

She doesn't need "help." Her parents need to give her a good "buttwhooping."

But it sounds like her parents aren't the type to do that and it's probably too late by this point to try and instill any discipline.
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