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Old 06-13-2011, 09:43 AM   #11
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Re: My six year old stole from my mom

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Thanks ladies, The box to the toy wasn't ripped apart so Im going to try to put it back together and return it. He will also be hand delivering the money. He can kind of write so we will work on an apology letter together.

Also, no TV or wii for a while. I hope this teaches him so he'll think twice next time!

Hopefully she keeps the note forever. Those always turn out to be the cutest notes ever.

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Old 06-13-2011, 09:57 AM   #12
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Re: My six year old stole from my mom

Oh ya return the Bakugan, make him return the money. I would also have him go over her house and do some "free" work as punishment. IMO the returning the Bakugan isn't punishment, it just needs to be done so I think some work should be involved.
TV punishment sounds good. I know that would really "teach" my dd, she loves her TV time. I think she has AHDH too, but thankfully I haven't had to deal with stealing.
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:05 AM   #13
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Re: My six year old stole from my mom

Wow that thing was hard to get back together!! I did though and you can't tell the box has even been opened! It looks perfect, so bad to target it goes!
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:19 AM   #14
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Re: My six year old stole from my mom

If it were me.. I'd have a talk with him about stealing, and why it is wrong, and also why lying is wrong. I'd make my son go with me to return the toy. When the clerk asked why you were returning it, I'd make your son tell him/her "Because I stole the money to buy it, and stealing is wrong" THEN I'd make HIM give the money back to his grandmother.

I'd also come up with a punishment. Figure out something that he loves to do, or to play or whatever.. and take it away for a week or whatever time you deem appropriate.

This isn't a case of he didn't know better, or he wouldn't have lied about it. If he lied about it, then he knows what he did was wrong.

DO NOT blame this on ADD. That's a bunch of bologna. My sister had ADHD, and turned into a theif..but she KNEW what she was doing was wrong, and chose to do it anyway. DO NOT give him this excuse, or he will use it EVERY TIME he does something wrong!

Good luck mama.
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:25 AM   #15
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Re: My six year old stole from my mom

Mama-
Sorry you have to deal with this. I think if it was me I would take it one step further.. I would return the toy, have him give back the money to your mom and write a card BUT I would also have a police officer talk to him. Either someone you know or just pop into the local station maybe? The reason I say this is it sounds like this is a first offence and I think not yelling BUT scaring the jeepers out of him with "the law" might work to make sure he doesn't do anything like this again. I know people who have had to talk to an officer as kids and it certainly worked for them.

ETA - I don't think this is a ADHD thing. It is just a kid thing. Sometimes even great kids do stupid things.

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Old 06-13-2011, 10:28 AM   #16
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Re: My six year old stole from my mom

That is great to hear! Your doing great mama!
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:33 AM   #17
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Re: My six year old stole from my mom

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If it were me, I would definitely make him return the toy and if it can't be returned, he would definitely not be allowed to have it. He obviously knew what he was doing and there should be no reward for that. I would also make him right an apology note and hand deliver it with the money. And talk to your mom about it and make sure she doesn't brush it off, to really explain how she is disappointed in his choices and her feelings are hurt. The thing is to stay calm, no one needs to be overly angry. Just explain how his choices (you don't want him to think HE's a bad person) are unacceptable and that stealing could get you in a lot of trouble. It's never ok.

A tough situation, momma!
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Old 06-13-2011, 11:04 AM   #18
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Re: My six year old stole from my mom

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Thanks ladies, The box to the toy wasn't ripped apart so Im going to try to put it back together and return it. He will also be hand delivering the money. He can kind of write so we will work on an apology letter together.

Also, no TV or wii for a while. I hope this teaches him so he'll think twice next time!
If he can't return the game - I would make him work it off. My almost 6 year old (who also has ADHD) can vacuum, weed, help with laundry, empty trash cans, etc. Granted I would have him return the $$ to your mom, but he can work off the money you are out of pocket...although I would take the money he had been saving too.

(we are working on the value of a dollar right now with our kids. It is amazing how much they don't get how much work really = $40 or $60!)
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Old 06-13-2011, 11:26 AM   #19
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Re: My six year old stole from my mom

You've gotten a lot of great answers here. I just wanted to add another smack upside the head for your DH excusing the behavior due to ADD. This was a calculated set of actions that lead to a specific outcome not a random impulse move that happened to pan out. Even if it was due to ADD, then that makes it all that more important that you make an impression upon him so that he doesn't do it again IN SPITE OF the ADD. If he had set the house on fire, you would double your efforts to make sure it never happens again, right?

Honestly, the lying would bother me the most. My DS would lose his independent priviledges due to the lying. He would never be without me for a good bit and would have to be my shadow unless he was asleep or using the bathroom.

I say this as a mother of an ADHD child who does do some pretty random things on impulse-including setting a pile of pine straw on fire with a cap gun. Then again, that incident was still thought out and DS1 included what he believed to be safety precautions, so I'm not attributing that to his ADHD.
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Old 06-13-2011, 01:15 PM   #20
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Re: My six year old stole from my mom

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Originally Posted by womanoverwhelmed View Post
Thanks ladies, The box to the toy wasn't ripped apart so Im going to try to put it back together and return it. He will also be hand delivering the money. He can kind of write so we will work on an apology letter together.

Also, no TV or wii for a while. I hope this teaches him so he'll think twice next time!
Sounds like a great plan.
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