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Old 06-13-2011, 08:44 PM   #1
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neighbor kids

so my 4.5 year old is very tall for his age, he looks like he's 6 or 7. Any ways a neighbor boy (about 8) from a street down has been playing with our neighbor girl (about 10). Steven loves to play w/ J (the girl) and they play awesome together. Now this boy shows up the past couple days. He tells Steven to call him Bob the Builder, which of course Steven does.

After dinner, Steven asks if he can go outside to play, we let him. We live on a culdesac so we feell safe about him outside no cars flying down the street. We leave our door open so we can hear him.

I go outside and notice this boy and a new girl (moved in this weekend 2 houses down) in our garage! WTF are you doing in my garage! They ask me if I'm Stevens mom and then tells me he pulled down his pants. And the girl said that she told him to pull down his underwear and that he almost did!

So of course I'm furious and yell for Steven to come here. He comes and tells me that the boy told him to do it. I went through the whole don't do what kids tell you to do stuff. I go in and tell DH and he goes and has a chat with DS.

I'm standing outside and the older kids are talking about birth and birthing each other and I notice Steven toss his helmet at the dog. The new girl runs inside to tell mom, who comes running out. By this time we already have DS on his way inside.

Now I'm frustrated that Steven did what he did tonight, but he's 4! Yes that doesnt excuse it but if you are 8-9 years old DONT tell a 4 year old to do something!

I was so ready to go over to the new neighbor and tell them what their lovely daughter told my son to do...because I know she's telling them that he pulled his pants down...well yeah because she told him to!

And then the boy neighbor, DH had a talk with DS as he was taking his bath and told him that that boy is probably not one to play with. I just have a feeling Steven is going to be one of those that does something to become friends with others...

Arghhhhh...sorry for the rambling, needed to get it out


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Old 06-13-2011, 09:18 PM   #2
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Re: neighbor kids

Yikes. Sorry, but I def wouldn't have them play with those kids again, at least not until he's a few years older, I mean unsupervised etc. I let my 5.5 yr old play out with my 7 year old, but not on the road(cul de sac too).

There is one boy who I don't like his attitude, he's a 5th grader and if he happens to be out(lives down the street, but sometimes they play ball in our cul de sac) then I will hover or play on driveway with the 2 year old keeping an eye.

I think I would go talk to her mom and just mention that he is only 4. I think it's very strange that a 8-9 year old would tell him to do that? My ODS is 7 and would never ever do that and is all about "his privacy".
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Old 06-13-2011, 09:41 PM   #3
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Re: neighbor kids

Ya he's too young to be playing with them. I would totally go and tell the mom what they had your son do. Not cool.
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Old 06-13-2011, 09:45 PM   #4
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Re: neighbor kids

My 10yo sometimes forgets to play age appropriate with other children who are younger. Coupled with the fact that he had his first "sex education" class in 4th grade, it has made for an interesting few months. As a matter of fact, I just had to remind him today that referencing "mating" & "birthing" is inappropriate for daycare kids, and sent him indoors.

You are right to be upset. You are right to limit contact. You should go chat with this child's parents.

Not that it's okay, but the child insisting that he be called "Bob the Builder" is something my Asperger's son would do as well. We often have issues with reality vs pretend & him wanting people to call him characters he isn't. So it makes me wonder if this child has deeper social issues like my son does. He often doesn't realize appropriate communication & conversation, tends to fixate on obscure things or subjects, "directs" kids like they are actors in a movie & he is the director(but doesn't play WITH the kids necessarily), and just doesn't act like he's 10 socially(he tests in at a 5yo's social level). And that 5yo(sometimes) in a 10yo's body is hard to deal with sometimes.

Not excusing, just putting that out there. Plenty of people have cut my son off as the "bad" kid, whereas he just needs told that something is wrong or unacceptable & then he's all good. Not that he's ever really "normal", his play style is just a typical marker of Asperger's, but he can understand that "X" is not okay & why it's not okay. Then he moves on. My son is actually quite caring & funny & thoughtful. Just "different". And you either deal with reality or you don't.
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Last edited by nakedbabytoes; 06-13-2011 at 09:47 PM.
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