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Old 06-08-2006, 09:33 AM   #81
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Re: Spinoff... gentle discipline & so on...

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Originally Posted by bamamom
this sounds nice and easy to follow...how old were they when you instituted this??
I use this from pretty much around a year old and on. I have a 16 month old that knows how to sit in timeout, I tend to lax on the spanking until closer to 2 years old, except agin on the major things like the street.

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Old 06-08-2006, 09:37 AM   #82
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Re: Spinoff... gentle discipline & so on...

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see we spanked DSS, once he was old enough (I cannot comprehend ppl who spank a baby) anyhow, not so much anymore, cause I hate it, thing is, once Gavin is old enough, I don't want to either, but I'm afraid hubby will say he's getting different treatment cause he's my own, (since Cody used to get spanked) I dunno how to approach it with him, course it won't be a concern for a few years but I was thinking about it lately
I was wanting advice on this
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Old 06-08-2006, 09:54 AM   #83
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Re: Spinoff... gentle discipline & so on...

I would say just talk to him about it, tell him your reasons, and ask his opinion, since he is also a responsible party in raising your son!! Communication is always key and you can't start too early!
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Old 06-08-2006, 09:57 AM   #84
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Re: Spinoff... gentle discipline & so on...

that's the problem, he'll take it as me just treating him differently cause he's my own, but I don't even spank DSS anymore cause I HATE to, kwim? so it's not just DS, my hubby tends to always get on the defensive side about ANYTHING I approach him with
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Old 06-08-2006, 10:16 AM   #85
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Re: Spinoff... gentle discipline & so on...

david doesnt get time outs
how can i implement time outs and him sit still for 3 min??
any suggestions ???btw now i only have to warn him that he gets a taztaz (spnaky in his terms) and he stops it.
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Old 06-08-2006, 10:23 AM   #86
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Re: Spinoff... gentle discipline & so on...

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Originally Posted by Fiveblessings
That is very offensive to Christians to say that. It has zero contradictions.

I am Christian I also take Jesus' as the best example in that He is gentle, I don't think he would spank, hit or the such. So we don't and we don't take everything in the Bible for literal. Some would be just plain silly to take literally.
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Old 06-08-2006, 10:29 AM   #87
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Re: Spinoff... gentle discipline & so on...

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Originally Posted by GavinsMommy
that's the problem, he'll take it as me just treating him differently cause he's my own, but I don't even spank DSS anymore cause I HATE to, kwim? so it's not just DS, my hubby tends to always get on the defensive side about ANYTHING I approach him with
I'd just sit down and talk to him FIRST about Cody...telling him you'd prefer that you guys not use spanking as a punishment...I mean Gavin is too young to spank anyway so if you make it a way of life now, involiving Cody, it will just always be that way with Gavin. Tell him all the reasons you are uncomfortable with about spanking AND have backup disapline examples. If he always spanks he may not have a clue as to other forms of disipline
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Old 06-08-2006, 10:32 AM   #88
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Re: Spinoff... gentle discipline & so on...

I didnt read anyone's responses. But with our 3 yr old we spanked with hands (never objects like my parents) and when she threatened to spank me one day we decided it was time to do something different. so Im usually the disciplinarian b/c I have the patience. But when she does something or doesnt listen we get on her level and speak firmly but softly that it was a bad choice or whatever she has done. Then if that doesnt work she does get timeouts. Now that we have Sophia we are doing the same thing though its harder with a 1 yr old. We noticed that hitting her or spanking her increased her hitting.
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Old 06-08-2006, 10:35 AM   #89
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Re: Spinoff... gentle discipline & so on...

Can you think of any ways that he's changed his parenting? It might be good to say "remember when you used to [fill in the blank] and then changed your mind about it?" The point you want to get across is that you try things in parenting, and then if you realize that they don't work, or if you're not comfortable with them, you change what you're doing. Point out to him that it's not just something with the new baby, and ask him to recall the last time you've spanked DSS. I don't know too many people who started out caring for their first child one way and stuck with that all through all of their children. IME, you have theories before you have kids, then you have to test them, and most of the time, they have to be altered.

So it would be best if you could have an example of a way he's changed his parenting to reinforce this idea.

Hope I could be of some help!!
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Old 06-08-2006, 10:46 AM   #90
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Re: Spinoff... gentle discipline & so on...

no he doesn't only spank, so that's not an issue, it's just his defensive side kwim? I'm trying to think of things he changed... good idea lol
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