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Old 06-17-2011, 01:43 PM   #111
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

You know, prior to this baby I don't know if I believed people when they said their baby wouldn't breastfeed. I breastfed my first two until they were 2+-but my latest arrival has not been able to breastfeed. She never latched. At first they said it was nipple confusion. Then they said it was a tongue tie. (For more details you can search my name for prior posts...). We had her tongue clipped twice, saw 4 lactation consults, had craniosacral therapy, did rebirthing, cosleeping, baby wearing, nipple shields, SNS's, you name it we tried it and she still does not nurse. I try once a day. A week ago for the first time since birth at over 14 weeks-she latched and nursed for a minute or two. I haven't been able to get her to do it since. Here I sit, surfing DS while pumping. Sigh.

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Old 06-17-2011, 01:51 PM   #112
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

I wanted to BF, but wasn't able to because of a medical condition that caused major supply issues, as in, I never produced more than an ounce a day. I got educated while pregnant, worked with lcs within the first few days, tried everything, but it just didn't work. My only "choice" in the matter was a choice between FFing or letting my DD starve to death. I think there are lots of women in similar situations... more than LLL wants you to believe. When my DD was an infant, many people (mostly strangers) asked me questions like, "Is she breastfed?" "What's in her bottle?" or "Why aren't you breastfeeding?" Every time it reminded me that my body had failed me and my DD and put me in the awkward position of feeling like I had to share very personal information about the function (or lack of) of my breasts, often with complete strangers. The bottom line is- MY BREASTS AND MEDICAL ISSUES ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. I wish I had the courage to say that to people who asked in person, but I never did.

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Originally Posted by carolineb View Post
I know a momma who does cd but ff. In casual conversations she mentioned "not having enough milk". She's a ftm and I'm sure she probably didn't receive the right information to help her understand normal ebf newborn behavior. Or maybe she really did have low supply. I don't know.
This breaks my heart. Why can't we just give other moms the benefit of the doubt, especially when they describe an experience that obviously would have been difficult for them? Saying that you don't know whether she really had low supply or not is hurtful and judgemental. Statements like these make me wonder how many of my family and friends thought the same thing about me.
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Old 06-17-2011, 02:20 PM   #113
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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You know, prior to this baby I don't know if I believed people when they said their baby wouldn't breastfeed. I breastfed my first two until they were 2+-but my latest arrival has not been able to breastfeed. She never latched. At first they said it was nipple confusion. Then they said it was a tongue tie. (For more details you can search my name for prior posts...). We had her tongue clipped twice, saw 4 lactation consults, had craniosacral therapy, did rebirthing, cosleeping, baby wearing, nipple shields, SNS's, you name it we tried it and she still does not nurse. I try once a day. A week ago for the first time since birth at over 14 weeks-she latched and nursed for a minute or two. I haven't been able to get her to do it since. Here I sit, surfing DS while pumping. Sigh.
I know EXACTLY what you mean Mama. Yet here we are doing it, right? PM me if you need any EPing support. I know lots of tricks!
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Old 06-17-2011, 02:25 PM   #114
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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Honestly? Do you really want my answer?

Because I believe in my core that every baby should be entitled to the most basic, perfect food created especially for him/her. Because if baby animals don't get colostrum they don't survive, and I believe that, even though humans have found a substitute for breast milk, it is not the same and that something is missing. Because a baby is born with a natural reflex to latch on to their mother's breast and it hurts me, truly hurts me that with all of the horrific things babies are put through after birth, that they are denied the benefits of doing so.

So again, I just can't help but wonder why...
Yes, especially to the bolded. It's why I've put myself through Hell and back. I wouldn't accept there was an alternative, and it's been an amazing journey. No regrets.
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Old 06-17-2011, 02:30 PM   #115
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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I CD to save money. I have latch issues, so I've been pumping for 14 mo...Why? because BM is free, and pumping supplies are less than formula. I'm a single mama, and I don't get any asssitance, because I make too much. I did FF for 2 weeks, until I got my supply established, then my son never had formula again. I had so much milk, I donated over 200oz to another mama who can't (she has IGT) make enough milk. I want the best for my son, so I keep pumping. Its so hard, but I'm just stubborn like that, I guess. If I could have afforded formula in the early days, I probably would have just FF, but I couldn't, and now I'm thankful I've been able to give my LO my milk for so long. My sweet boy was so sick over the winter, we had ear infection, after ear infection. I can only think of how much worse it would have been for HIM if he was FF. Not that all babies on forumula are sickly, but MY baby certainly was a sickly babe.
Awesome job Mama keep it up!
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Old 06-17-2011, 02:34 PM   #116
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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I admit, I wonder as well. I really don't say anything but I do wonder. And to be completely honest I mainly FF'ed my first son out of, in the end, not really wanting to try and staying ignorant of the facts about nursing. I honestly have no one to blame but myself for it too. I was "judged" but it never did hurt my feelings. It honestly prompted me to research more and try my darndest with #2.

As a result son #1 has a much lower immune system which I highly attribute to severe lack of breastmilk among the 4 main things that I believe caused his low immune system and SPD.

I have friends for whom it didn't work out for, true cases. I have friends who like me, admittedly just didn't care to try.

I do wish women would at least try. I also believe in helping to further education and support. We sadly live in such a Westernized culture that it does make it difficult because we don't that "tribal" mindset where women helped each other from pre-pregnancy, pregnancy, birth, nursing and beyond. We sorely lack in that area in our country.

If we did have more of a tribal/village mindset I do believe it would work much better. And for the few cases where it truly was an issue, we'd have great friends who would nurse our babies for us so that they'd still get the vital milk.
Absolutely. To the bolded, we do! Eats on Feets and Milkshare. I've donated over 4000 oz personally to 5 different babes and one 9 year old chemo patient.
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Old 06-17-2011, 02:41 PM   #117
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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I am so sorry for your loss mama SIDS is scary, I swear, every night for the first 4 months or so, the thought would cross my mind.

But being scared to BF because of SIDS is not the way to think. SIDS can happen to any baby, at any time, for no reason, that is what makes it so scary And breastfeeding does reduce the risk, its been proven, but it dosn't eliminate it, unfortunatley, nothing does.....
This. There are so many other factors that could have contributed.
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Old 06-17-2011, 02:47 PM   #118
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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I've been doing a lot of research on diet, and it seems like recent studies show that breastfeeding is most important during the first year, as it lays down a healthy balance of gut bacteria, which is the basis for the immune system. The fact that your babies were breastfed for 6-9 months is probably why they are pretty healthy. Also, your kids are pretty young still, so there is limited information to go on at this point.
It's important to continue to feed them healthy food, though, because breastmilk is not a magic substance that will keep them healthy all of their lives. (as some people seem to think).
One of my friends breastfed her children for 18 months each, but they are seriously the most unhealthy kids I know. Why? They eat crap, that's why. They mainly eat sugar and processed food since nursing, so although breastmilk protected them during that time period, it can only do so much and the positive effects CAN be cancelled out by an unhealthy diet afterwards.
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Old 06-17-2011, 02:48 PM   #119
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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I think what gets lost is that bf is the biological norm. FF increases the risks of asthma, allergies, ear infections, obesity, Sids and childhood leukemia, BF doesnt prevent anything, FF increases the chances but obviously not by 100% so there are children who have asthma who were bf and FF babies who are very healthy. It's just about rates of infection and disease not a magic or poison bullet.
And this
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Old 06-17-2011, 02:48 PM   #120
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Chmom77-I'm sorry. I think my post may have come across wrong. I did mean to say that I am not sure of her actual situation so I was just stating someone I knew that cd and ff. But I do believe that many moms aren't given the best help and support where it's needed. My older 2 were ff full time by 5 months. It started b/c I didn't know that in the evenings it's normal for the supply to dip a little. I thought those nursing marathons meant I didn't have enough milk so I turned to a bottle. Even in conversations with LC they didn't really give me the best info to realize that. My kids developed a bottle preference and weaned themselves. I am ebf ds3 and he's only had a couple bottles of ebm and I have been better informed and sought out more info myself. So I've been on both sides of the fence. So no judgement from me. A lot of the mommas here have persevered through much more than I would have ever been willing to so you all have my respect and admiration!

Hope that clears up my post.
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