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Old 06-21-2011, 12:47 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by mixed_chica

Mama, ^ is really good advice.
I also wanted to give you and really think her father should be helping out a LOT more.
I 3rd this! You've gotten awesome advice on the bfing front, but on the BF front let me just say that you are teaching him how to treat you and your dd. If you don't demand that he takes part in your family then he won't. If he doesn't now, he NEVER will. You have to decide now what is and isn't acceptable from him and stick to it. Before you're married to him. Fix it sooner rather than later and I promise things with dd will get easier.



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Old 07-04-2011, 09:00 PM   #32
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Re: I HATE BFING!!!!!!!

Several things come to mind, reading your post:

1. Baby crying throughout a feeding: she may not like the feeding postion, senses your stress, or could be as simple as something in your diet is giving her gas or disagreeing w/ her sensitive tummy. I learned that some seemingly harmless foods would really affect ds.

2. Sooo many feedings in a day sounds like you've inadvertently taught her that it's perfectly acceptable to snack-feed. Of course you feel like she's attached to you 24/7... SHE IS! Lol. A baby's entire metabolism (and sleeping patterns) are greatly influenced by the frequency of feedings and amount they eat.

3. As for the pacifying: we never gave ds a pacifier and he does not thumb suck either. We went to great lengths to make sure of this. I never allow ds to pacify by bf'ing either bc it only creates a snowball effect... crankier baby, more stressed out helpless feeling me. I am a foodsource; not a pacifier! A little crying is healthy. I'd just put ds in his carrier on the front of me and walk around the house doing housework if I knew he wasn't truly hungry. He'd catch on that it wasn't time to eat yet and start focusing on looking at me and my voice and facial expressions and later at the things around him as I moved from room to room. You really can tell the difference between baby being truly hungry and having a power struggle bc they just want to pacify. It will take a while to reguide your lo's routine as to what is and is not acceptable behavior but she'll catch on.... baby's are incredibly smart, that way. And I'm not saying to withhold food either but every 3 hrs is pretty common and you'll know the signs if she's truly hungry before then.

4. If you are truly uncomfortable bf'ing, pump. I have a friend who exclusively pumps. Finding the right bottle and nipple is key though if you choose this route and keep in mind that your baby, at this age WILL REBEL. It will only take a couple days to teach her that this is food and mommy's boobies are not the only bottles in the world. Lol. And don't cave in and bf just bc she throws a fit or you'll send her the message that bad behavior is rewarded. She'll resist and maybe refuse to eat for a little while but she will get hungry and she will eat though not happily the first handful of times. I tried every bottle I could think of and ended up using Dr Brown's bc they were the only ones that ds didn't collapse the nipple on plus it kept most of the gas at bay. Also, I found that in the beginning of bottle feeding, the only way I could get ds to eat from the bottle was to make sure the milk was the same temp as my body so I'd literally walk around packing a bottle in my pocket for a while before feeding time. Then, I'd bf him til he got that glazey sleepy look then pull a switcharoo on him keeping my nipple close so he could still smell it and keeping him in the same feeding position the whole time.... had to basically trick him into it for a while just to get him used to it. Later, he got used to the bottle being so much easier to get the milk out of and actually preferred it during his middle of the night feedings. Once he was used to the bottle, things were alot easier. I could bf when home and bottle feed in public (not bc I mind bf'ing in public but for time's sake when you're out and about, it is sometimes an option I prefer.... especially if we're somewhere I'm not familiar with and don't know their policy or accomodations for nursing mothers.)

I'm so sorry you're struggling with all this. You aren't alone on this emotional rollercoaster. We all go through some of this, in some way, shape or form. You may or may not agree with my views or adopt any of them yourself but please know you'll be in my prayers.

God Bless!

Last edited by Servant4Christ; 07-05-2011 at 07:41 AM.
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Old 07-04-2011, 10:25 PM   #33
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Re: I HATE BFING!!!!!!!

I nursed mine for a combined 39 months. It wasn't my most favorite thing either, but fortunately for me, we chose to do things in such a way with our LOs that I rarely was frustrated or trapped by BFing. We routine fed our babies so they were eating and sleeping very predictably from birth which allowed me to get out for 1-2 hours just a few days after birth. Because we choose to nurse for food not pacification or amusement or comfort, we get full feedings in at each MEAL not SNACK. So at 3 months mine were all eating 6-8x/day and STTN at least 8 hours and gaining weight like mad. Fewer nursing periods in a day was HUGE for me. Even bigger was knowing when my baby's body would need food so I have NEVER nursed in public. Ever. The car? Yes. I could go to the grocery alone or run an errand and know my babies were fine and sleeping well without me. HTH.
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Old 07-06-2011, 01:29 PM   #34
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Re: I HATE BFING!!!!!!!

I am nearing the end of my second time breastfeeding and I still "hate it". I love it at the same time though. I kind of did was the previous poster did, I fed more on a schedule then whenever through out the day. We have been nursing about 5-6 times since birth with an additional one at night until 4 or 5 months. Now it is more like 4-5 times a day with nothing at night. My baby does get a paci though and I gave it to her at birth, because my boobs were only allowed for feeding. And honestly she would take the paci over the boob anyday.

I also don't like nursing in public and don't really. I always time my trips out so that I feed right before. There have only been a handful of times I would nurse in the car or in the dressing room of Motherhood Maternity at the mall. I did once nurse at Panera in a back corner with my Aunt making sure I was covered with a jacket (because it was black friday and we were speed shopping, and my newborn had to come with me for feeding purposes).

Anyways, I suck it up for 12 months and then we stop, and I have my body back. I just know that I would feel way too guilty feeding her any other way, so that is what drives me to continue. I hate it and I do it anyways. I do have a countdown going though since dd2 is going to be 9 months tomorrow.
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Old 07-06-2011, 11:08 PM   #35
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Re: I HATE BFING!!!!!!!

I felt the same way with my last 2 babies in the begining! It is so hard! If it wasn't for encouragement of other mommies I would have gave up! I BF my daughter until she self weaned at 16 months and I was prego with my son who is now 6 months and still going strong. So I have been BFing for almost 3 years!! Trust me it gets better!! He won't take a bottle either but I am trying to enjoy every minute of it even if it gets annoying because he won't be a baby forever. Good luck and hang in there you are definately through the worst part!
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Old 07-07-2011, 03:21 PM   #36
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Re: I HATE BFING!!!!!!!

Just want to say that I have felt that way at times too I even had the pacifier issue the first 6 months. Drove me crazy. I didn't really experience the closeness until around 6 months when it became less painful. What else I really hated was when I would ovulate and my nipples were super sensitve and SORE. Oh my gosh it felt like they were in a vice grip! Af time was just as bad. I distracted for the longest just like you do. When I sat down to nurse I made sure i had the TV on. I thought I would never be done and couldn't wait to stop. It wasn't the easy experience I had with ds2. For some reason it was far more painful and difficult. It was so bad this time that I just took it one day at a time and had one small milestone to conquer like 1 more week or 1 more month. Now he just turned 1 and I am ready to have my body back so we are working on only 3 feedings a day.

Breastfeeding is not easy for all So what I suggest is supplimenting just 1 feeding a day with formula to give yourself a break. I did this with ds2 and ds3. There were days I just couldn't do 1 more feeding and whipped out a bottle. It was just the 1 feeding but man did I feel more at ease! It took him a little bit to get used to it and it dribbled right out of his mouth for the majority of the feeding but he got the hang of it. It really did help my sanity on those really difficult days. It made for a happier mom and I could enjoy the feeding as well. Some will flame me for suggesting the supplimental feeding but I could care less. It helped me through breastfeeding! Never affected my supply either.
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Old 07-13-2011, 11:02 AM   #37
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Re: I HATE BFING!!!!!!!

It was refreshing to read the initial mama's post..... I am honestly nervous about breastfeeding my little one who is due in 10wks. I am worried I won't like it, that I will feel invaded etc. I totally understand what you are saying about everything though and HUGS!!!!! I haven't even been bfing yet and have some of the same concerns that you are saying you are having problems with But I am glad to know that there are other mamas who have the same issues, and also great to know how supportive the other mamas are!!!!! PRAYING that things go better for you!!!!!
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Old 07-16-2011, 10:20 PM   #38
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Re: I HATE BFING!!!!!!!

Bf'ing isn't natural like I know I've heard for years. It took a while to get the hang of, but I do love it most of the time. DD is 9 months and doesn't eat any food so she still nurses every 2-3 all day, and cluster at night til bedtime. I still enjoy it but would like some time away. You should see your doc about ppd. If you are stressed and not liking it, she is stressed and not liking it either. You need to try and get calm when you know you are about to feed her. She feels all the same stress you do and that's why she cries all the time. I know, easier said than done, but it is doable. If you have a relative or friend, try giving them a bottle to give to her but you have to walk outside so she can't hear, see, or smell you. You have to try the bottle before she gets hungry. Maybe an hour after she last ate. You don't have to like breastfeeding, but being stressed around your lo isn't helping her at all. She would benefit more from formula than you being stressed while she eats. Please see someone. It's ok that you don't like it. You can get through this. I hope nothing but the best for you. As for the father, like pp said, you have to set a good example for your dd, so do what's best for you and her. (Meaning all this to be as supportive as possible and not condenscending!)
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Old 07-16-2011, 11:46 PM   #39
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On the bottle topic, have you tried a breast-like nipple? Or... those little infant sippys? My close friend's daughter wouldn't take any bottle, any nipple, and only ONE brand of sippy. It took her a month or two to find one she'd take, but they did.

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Old 07-16-2011, 11:56 PM   #40
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Re: I HATE BFING!!!!!!!

Big HUGS!!!!!
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