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Old 06-25-2011, 01:30 PM   #1
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What would you think??

We very excitedly met with a hb MW the other week and what I was hoping to be a very interesting and comfortable discussion ended up being very dark and well, disappointing. She seemed to really harp on the dangers/risks associated w/ VBACs (this would be my 2nd natural VBAC; first was in a hospital). Told us a few stories about patients who'd lost babies during delivery and basically told us if people thought we were crazy for home birthing, how do we think they'd look at us if our baby died during a hb? We also discussed that she doubted we'd find a back-up OB and she wouldn't perform without one.

She came VERY well recommended from several people, but I'm just wondering if she personally doesn't feel comfortable attending our VBAC birth out here in the country. I know she mentioned that she doesn't do many VBACs anymore (her job is to prevent them), but she she isn't against them. I had a wonderful natural hospital birth, so if my one shot at back-up doesn't work, I'll be fine, but I just didn't think I'd be discouraged from even trying a HB!

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Old 06-25-2011, 01:37 PM   #2
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Re: What would you think??

Wow. I would not be ok with her being my MW. It would make me uncomfortable and uneasy knowing that she basically has a negative attitude of your plans. If there are no other MWs in your area and you are comfortable with a hospital birth I think I would do that. But you really have to do what's right for you and your LO.
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Old 06-25-2011, 01:50 PM   #3
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Re: What would you think??

It was just odd. She seemed very nice and warm at times and then, well just really factual and pessimistic. Not really sure if there are other options available, since one of our hang-ups is being 20-25 minutes away from a hospital facility.
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Old 06-25-2011, 01:56 PM   #4
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I would give her another chance, personally. I'd rather have a MW discuss the risks up front and then move on versus one who just blows it off like a HB VBAC is sunshine and roses. Hopefully from now on she will be relaxed about since you know the risks.

But if she harps on it next visit and you are not comfortable, by all means move on.
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Old 06-25-2011, 03:04 PM   #5
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Re: What would you think??

Wow...sounds like an odd conversation to me! It sounds like *she* is not comfortable doing VBACs and I believe that both the parents and the midwife should be comfortable with each other.
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Old 06-25-2011, 06:02 PM   #6
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Re: What would you think??

Hmm seems odd, especially since you have had a VBAC already. There are no other MW you can try?

I had a c-sec with my 3rd and my 7th. Of course VBAC's with those and they have been at home. We are 1.5 hours from any hospital with NICU.
Our small town does have a hospital which is 20 mins away. And if something really major is wrong they could deal with it. My VBAC's have been UC, other than one in which I had a friend to support us, since we thought possible twins. But any actual midwives of course will not take me on - for one you have to be within 20 mins of the major city. And 2nd because of my c-secs.
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Old 06-25-2011, 06:19 PM   #7
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Hmmm...that does seem strange-especially the switch from clinical to warm personality. Maybe you could ask her if she's comfortable with vbacs. Also, I know that here in California midwives are required to inform patients of VBAC risks. Maybe she just handles that part of the job awkwardly?
That being said. For our last homebirth we really didn't like the midwife everyone else really liked. You are the ones who need to be comfortable with her. Recommendations are good, but not as important as your relationship with her.
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Old 06-25-2011, 07:25 PM   #8
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Re: What would you think??

Doing a homebirth is a risk especially a vbac. I do know someone who lost their baby during a homebirth that is why I will never do one. That being said, you have to do what is right for you, and if that means finding someone else then you need to do that. But I don't think it is wrong for her to be honest about the risks, I would rather that than go into something blindly. Plus she may feel that the stark reality weeds out people who are not really up to a homebirth so that is taken care of right away.
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Old 06-25-2011, 07:51 PM   #9
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Re: What would you think??

I would be really uncomfortable with that MW from your description of the appointment. I would be uncomfortable with anyone that was warm one moment and dark the next. Especially the first time meeting them. First impressions are a big deal for me.

Best wishes to you!
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Old 06-25-2011, 09:19 PM   #10
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Re: What would you think??

I would not be satisfied....

If you'd like to give her another chance, I'd arrange another meeting to talk again. Better yet, I'd search out another midwife or two to interview!


Good luck!
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