View Poll Results: Who is at fault?
as the parent you are. you should watch your child closer. 26 17.11%
the park employee who opened the gate 75 49.34%
a little of both 51 33.55%
other 0 0%
Voters: 152. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-27-2011, 08:50 PM   #161
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Re: WWYD? Safety issue at sprayground.UPDATE

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They all sound alike?
OP doesn't suffer from this syndrome (so I have no excuse) but it seems like every name is "fluffymommaof3" or "diaperbaby" or "rosepetals" or something related to both kids and diapers.

There's a whole contingent of anti-vaccinators who dislike me, and on occasion I will run into one of them in a non-vaccination thread saying something like "wow, photomikey and I never agree, but this time is different!", and I won't even recognize their name, much less know what we always disagree on. LOL!

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Old 06-27-2011, 09:17 PM   #162
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We're talking about maturity and making the right decisions. I don't think I put her in a category any more than people who say that "teens are irresponsible".

And no, I don't think teens are capable of making decisions or thinking like adults.
Slightly OT but heard a very interesting NPR blurb on this recently talking about lowering the voting age. Bottom line was that the brain development affects certain KINDS of decision making - but not ALL. Apparently mostly quick thinking kinds of decisions are affected, but more contemplative intellectual thought is just as lucid in teens as adults. Hence the argument for lowering the voting age.

So it would suggest that things like letting children out the gate would be the kind of decision making impaired in a teen as it was a split second judgment call.

That said I let teens babysit my kids. My girls adore pretty girls that play with them and I think lots of teens are mostly very levelheaded - quite likely even the gate girl. If I think back to myself (ahem, way back) it's kind of selective. I was super responsible in lots of ways, but other moments? Hoo boy.

OP the customer svc angle totally makes sense to me. I would have been beyond incensed with the manager. Far more than the girl. I make a much bigger stink when someone acts like it's not their problem. Maybe at the least they will give the gate keeper kids a lecture that will make them more vigilant at least for a while. It seems like a positive outcome overall. Those kinds of places can be so chaotic!

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Old 06-28-2011, 06:07 AM   #163
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Re: WWYD? Safety issue at sprayground.UPDATE

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So you would actually stand up for a stranger whose responsibility it was to monitor the locked gate and belittle your child? A mistake a 3 year old makes is much different than a mistake a teen makes who failed at their job.

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belittle (bɪˈlɪt ə l)

vb
1. to consider or speak of (something) as less valuable or important than it really is; disparage
I do believe that you are not familiar with the definition of belittle. I'm surprised as an adult, (I am assuming you are not a teen here) that you would misuse such a common word in the English language. I could see my 3 or 4 yo not understanding how to use it, but my even my 9yo understands the difference between belittling and impressing upon someone the severity of their offense.

BTW, the above was an example of belittling. I'm certain that you do know the meaning of the word and do explain to your children when they do something dangerous as to why it's dangerous and don't consider it belittling. I think you're getting caught up in taking sides and not recognizing that my child is my responsibility and the actions of the teen are not. It is not my place to "discipline" the teen. That is her supervisor's job. It IS my place to "discipline" my child. I would be remiss in my duty as a parent to let my child violate established safety rules and not correct them.

You know, there has been a good bit of talk in this thread about responsibility. It starts as soon as parents teach their children to be responsible. Perhaps if that teen had been responsible for staying within an established boundary as a 3yo, she would have recognized that letting out the OP's child was not a good choice.
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Old 06-28-2011, 01:10 PM   #164
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Re: WWYD? Safety issue at sprayground.UPDATE

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I do believe that you are not familiar with the definition of belittle. I'm surprised as an adult, (I am assuming you are not a teen here) that you would misuse such a common word in the English language. I could see my 3 or 4 yo not understanding how to use it, but my even my 9yo understands the difference between belittling and impressing upon someone the severity of their offense.

BTW, the above was an example of belittling. I'm certain that you do know the meaning of the word and do explain to your children when they do something dangerous as to why it's dangerous and don't consider it belittling. I think you're getting caught up in taking sides and not recognizing that my child is my responsibility and the actions of the teen are not. It is not my place to "discipline" the teen. That is her supervisor's job. It IS my place to "discipline" my child. I would be remiss in my duty as a parent to let my child violate established safety rules and not correct them.

You know, there has been a good bit of talk in this thread about responsibility. It starts as soon as parents teach their children to be responsible. Perhaps if that teen had been responsible for staying within an established boundary as a 3yo, she would have recognized that letting out the OP's child was not a good choice.
Really? You have the nerve to post this? Yes, I am very well aware of what the word belittle means. And, the way you would have "handled" the situation if it was your 3 year old and the way you would have spoke to him in front of the "gatekeeper", then yes....you would have belittled him. Here is what you posted how you would have handled the situation:
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcpforever View Post
If I was in the OP's situation and my 3yo managed to get on the other side of the gate, I would be lecturing him in front of the gatekeeper about how he was not allowed to leave without me, that he might have gotten hurt, that I wouldn't have been able to find him, etc. Then I would inform him he would need to sit next to me for x amount of time and only play {insert an area very close to my hangout with the baby} for the rest of the time since I couldn't trust him to follow the rules we'd already discussed.
To "lecture" him in front of the gatekeeper and other patrons at the park is considered belittling, especially when you tell him that you can't trust him. That would make him feel less of a person.....aka....BELITLE. The child did not open the unlocked gate and let themself out. It was her JOB to not let any child out without an adult. I added the definition since it wouldn't quote.

Definition of BELITTLE
transitive verb
1: to speak slightingly of : disparage <belittles her efforts>
2: to cause (a person or thing) to seem little or less
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Old 06-28-2011, 01:13 PM   #165
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Re: WWYD? Safety issue at sprayground.

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How is that standing up to a stranger?? Also how is telling your child what did wrong belittling them.
If her job isn't watching your kids then how is she failing to do her job. You make no sense.
B/c she didn't tell the stranger she did anything wrong and she DID. She did NOT do her job by letting an unattended child out. Telling your child what they did wrong is not belitting them, but lecturing them infront of the gatekeeper and other patrons at the park is. Her job isn't watching the kids, it is to not let an unattended child through the gate and she DID let an unattended child out of the gate....she DID NOT DO HER JOB. How can you say I make no sense?
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Old 06-28-2011, 01:22 PM   #166
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Re: WWYD? Safety issue at sprayground.UPDATE

This is the most asinine mommy argument I've seen on here in a long time.
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Old 06-28-2011, 01:48 PM   #167
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Re: WWYD? Safety issue at sprayground.UPDATE

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B/c she didn't tell the stranger she did anything wrong and she DID. She did NOT do her job by letting an unattended child out. Telling your child what they did wrong is not belitting them, but lecturing them infront of the gatekeeper and other patrons at the park is. Her job isn't watching the kids, it is to not let an unattended child through the gate and she DID let an unattended child out of the gate....she DID NOT DO HER JOB. How can you say I make no sense?
Yes, we ALL agree that the gatekeeper should NOT have let the child out. I don't see any posts here that say the employee was right to do so. But what some of us are saying is that both of the parents are partially at fault, too. Children can only go as far as the parents allow. Had one of the parents been right there with the child, she would not have been able to exit the gate. Yes, that means helicopter parenting, but this isn't a debate about whether or not helicopter parenting is wrong or not.

YES, the employee is at fault for letting a young child out of the gate with out an accompanying adult/older child. But YES, the parents should accept some responsibility, too. Just because they were at a birthday party at a sprayground, where a gatekeeper is supposed to man the gate, does not relinquish them of the responsibility to make sure their children stay put, either.
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Old 06-28-2011, 02:33 PM   #168
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Re: WWYD? Safety issue at sprayground.

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Originally Posted by ajane View Post
B/c she didn't tell the stranger she did anything wrong and she DID. She did NOT do her job by letting an unattended child out. Telling your child what they did wrong is not belitting them, but lecturing them infront of the gatekeeper and other patrons at the park is. Her job isn't watching the kids, it is to not let an unattended child through the gate and she DID let an unattended child out of the gate....she DID NOT DO HER JOB. How can you say I make no sense?
I find it impressive that you've taken something so simple and turned it into a public scorning. I will be amused the next time I tell my son not to throw mulch on the playground in thinking I am publicly belittling him.

Go back and reread. I'm certain that I had some constructive criticism for the teen.

As TBVS has said, no one is jumping for joy that the gatekeeper opened that gate. But again, that teen is NOT my responsibility. My child is.
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Old 06-28-2011, 04:47 PM   #169
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Re: WWYD? Safety issue at sprayground.UPDATE

Closing this thread since it is getting out of control.
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