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Old 04-01-2007, 08:26 PM   #1
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Question HELP PLEASE!! Re: CPS...what should my ds weigh-When hold his head up? UPDATED!!

UPDATE AT END OF THIS POST!!

oht-This is LONG, PLEASE BARE WITH ME!
OK, so my sister is a psychotic b*tch that called CPS on me last year b/c my kids "didn't have anything from the Easter bunny on Easter morning" ....CPS came to my house & it was a disaster...I'm bi-polar & sometimes it's HARD to keep up with everything!! Anyway, I voluntarily took my kids to my Mom's house to stay until dh & I could get ut all in A1, tip-top, eat-off-the-floors-clean...no problem, kids came back home with NO trouble...no signs of neglect, abuse, etc...they weren't ordered to leave, *I* vounteered to take them...

ANYWAY~ We got a new double-wide in January & it is SPOTLESS! I've done a MUCH better job keeping everything clean since we found out about ds coming in May (turns out I was pg when the whole CPS fiasco happened!) I've not spoken to my sister since then. I've seen her 2 sons (whom I practically raised for the first couple years of their lives, in fact they'd been in my house & I had watched them in January!). The only I've been able to see them is with "supervision" from one of my parents

DS is 11 weeks old & she had only seen him online on the hospital's website...until Thursday. I was at my Mom & Dad's w/ him & she walked in to pick up her 4 yo ds. Mom was holding him & she walked in, straight to her & snatched him up. She went on & on about who he did/didn't look like & said 4 or 5 times that "oh, you're so tiny"..."oh, you're so skinny"...yaddayadda, not ONCE did she even look at me or acknowledge dh or myself's presence.

Well, my Mom called me this afternoon & asked if she could come out, she had to talk to me about something...turns out M's at it again!! She's told my Mom, Grandma & Aunt (at 2 separate times) that I'm starving my baby to death...that he's so scrawny, skin on bones, not eating enough...on & on & on...went as far as saying that a ped who advocates bf'ing will *help* a mother starve a baby to death rather than have them give formula. She said that she knows I'm doing what I think is best fo him by nursing him, but obviously it's not...Now, he weighed 8 lb 13 oz, 20 1/2 in at birth, BUT I had gestational diabetes...he weighed only 7 lbs 14 oz when we left the hospital @ 3 days. He had trouble gaining for a while, I'll admit it. I hadn't been waking him to feed him, b/c I thought he needed fed "on demand" & would wake up when he was hungry...boy was I wrong. Ped said that fat babies get lazy & sleep rather than eat, get lethargic, then don't eat, etc. I started feeding him EVERY 2 hours around the clock. I was taking him to the dr every day to every other day to get weighed. Eventually, he started puttin it on! Oh, that's not good enough though...I need to get a 2nd opinion from another doc! Mom was taking up for me, told her that his cheeks were fat, she popped back with "even the kids starving in Ethiopia have fat faces" Can you believe that!?!?!

At his last appointment (that I have a slip for) he was 7 wks 6 days & weighed 9 lbs 12 oz & was 23" long. That's a gain of 1 lb 15 oz in 7 weeks. She's spouting that they should gain 1-2 oz a day...well, I have 3 books here that say 1/2 to 1 oz a day. I know that ebf'ed babies aren't on the same "scale" as ff'ed babies, but I don't have that scale here. Anyone have a link to one? Have any good ammunition I could arm myself with?

She was also fussing b/c his head is still wobbly...it shouldn't be wobbling anymore. He does a pretty good job holding it for about 30 seconds, then it kinda gives & "wobbles" for lack of a better word. How old was your baby when they had complete control of their head?

She has a son that was born on November 2, 06 & he's FAT (my mom says so, I've not seen him since Chrsitmas.)
I'm taking him to see his ped tomorrow, to get a statement saying that he's healthy & OK. I *KNOW* she's gonna call CPS again, & I want to be ARMED & ready to send 'em packin!

BTW-He's not been vaxed yet either, we've not decided whether or not we're gonna...dd's are fully vaxed, ods had only the 2 month round & then not any until he entered Kdg & just got the "catch up" stuff. I'm sure she'd hit the roof if she knew that!!

HELP!!!

ETA: You can see pics of him here: http://s177.photobucket.com/albums/w232/jbaskc/Curry/

UPDATE!!
Wellllll....the ped said he's FINE!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT, I already knew that
She said it was a good idea to "CYA" & come in anyway. She basically said my sis is full of BS & doesn't have a CLUE, or a leg to stand on! She said that if CPS shows up, tell them to call her, and if I need her for ANYTHING to call the hospital & they'll page her!

She said that people who are going to neglect their kids wouldn't bring them to as many weight checks & appointments as we have (dh has only missed 1, we always go together) & do everything she told us to.

She said that eventually the welfare dept will stop listening to her, since she's crying wolf so much.

SOOOOOO...... the stats (as far as the slips I have & what I've written in his baby book...

BIRTH 1/12/2007
8 lbs 13 oz
20 1/2 in

3 days 1/15/2007
7 lbs 14 oz

LOSS of 15 oz in 3 days

6 days 1/18/2007
7 lbs 15 oz

GAIN of 1 oz in 3 days

13 days 1/25/2007
7 lbs 13 oz

LOSS of 2 oz in 7 days

20 days 2/1/2007
8 lbs
20 3/4 oz

GAIN of 3 oz & 1/4" in 7 days

5 w, 6 d 2/22/2007
9 lbs 3 oz

GAIN of 1 lb 3 oz in 3 weeks

7 w, 6 d 3/8/2007
9 lbs 12 oz
23"

GAIN of 9 oz in 2 weeks

TODAY 4/5/2007
11 W, 6 D
11 lbs 2 oz
24"

GAIN of 1 lb 6 oz in 4 weeks

WOOHOO! I can never tell you mamas how much I appreciate all the posts of support, pm's of encouragement & informational links that you've sent me! You *truly* have changed my life!! I no longer will live in fear of her & her vindictive, spiteful antics, and the CPS! I feel so welcome & loved here. This is truly a wonderful place. to you ALL!!!

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Old 04-01-2007, 08:54 PM   #2
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Re: HELP Please...how much should my ds weigh? When should he hold his head up?

He is perfectly fine. But I am guessing you already know that. And I couldn't get over how cute he looks in that pic off all the fluff. He is long though, very long so he is going to look thinner even though 9lbs 12ozs is a substantial weight for a baby his age. My first was only 8lbs at 2 months and only 17lbs at 1yr. Now my second is a huge guy, but like yours he had a hard time with loosing weight and then we had feeding issues in the begining so it must have taken him easily 6 weeks to recover and start gaining. HE is really long too, just like your ds. Just big in general. You are doing everything you need to to get your stuff covered. I wouldn't even talk about the vaxing thing, they don't need to know. Just say we are getting him adequate medical care. HEre is a web addy for you. http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Pr...arentguide.asp It's for tx, but alot of the stuff is universal and you should be able to find extra info there and possibly links to your state info. Know your rights is the best thing you can do for your family.

Here is another link http://www.pacificjustice.org/resour...D=ART513510669 It deals with homeschooling but has lots of other good info.

ETA: I totally forgot to offer you ((HUGS)). Your sister sounds like a real piece of work. I think in your position I would totally cut her out of my life for good. I wouldn't want anyone like that around my kids.
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Old 04-01-2007, 09:03 PM   #3
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Re: HELP PLEASE!! Re: CPS...how much should my ds weigh? When should he hold his head

Totally forgot about supporting the head. I think it depends on the baby. Ds1 could hold his head up pretty much from birth. He had to see what was going on around him. Ds2 was more layed back and while he could lift his head, he was still floppy at 7+ weeks. He also had a giant head, trust me on this one. If your dr doesn't think it is a problem (like hypotonia) then it probably isn't. Your sister just wants somethign to nag about. Is she a bit of a drama queen?
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Old 04-01-2007, 09:06 PM   #4
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Re: HELP Please...how much should my ds weigh? When should he hold his head up?

Ugh you poor mama, I can't believe that a sis would be like that.

He looks skinny to me, but who said babies had to be fat to be healthy?? He sounds like he's gaining slowly, but the point is, he's gaining.

I know some 4 and 5 month olds that still can't hold their head up perfectly, so don't worry about that either.

Doesn't sound like cps would have anything against you right now, but I honestly don't know much about cps.
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Old 04-01-2007, 09:09 PM   #5
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Re: HELP PLEASE!! Re: CPS...how much should my ds weigh? When should he hold his head

First of all, I don't have any information at all to help you. Secondly, I think your sister has issues. I don't think your son is too skinny. My first son was an incredibly fat baby...no matter how much he ate or didn't eat..or how active he was or wasn't...he is and was a big boy. He's still large for his age...he's thinning down, but he's still 'above average'. My 2nd son is a completely different story! He's skinny. He was 7lb 3.2oz at birth and I want to say that he was somewhere around 9lb something at 2 months. Anyway...here is my skinny boy at somewhere around 5 weeks.



There is a very wide range for "normal" in children. Some kids are chunky...some are very skinny. Good luck at the doctors office and I'd tell your sister to go stick her head somewhere.
ETA: I agree with a pp...he is long! My skinny boy was only 19.5" at birth. Not much difference, but it does make a difference. I wouldn't let her bother you (as far as your son goes), but she would bother me big time as far as...all the attacking she seems to do.
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Old 04-01-2007, 09:10 PM   #6
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Re: HELP PLEASE!! Re: CPS...how much should my ds weigh? When should he hold his head

He looks great to me! and head support varies so much, Maia was great by about 4 weeks, Sage took until about 15-16 and the neighbor's baby still can't at 8 months but the Ped wouldn't even talk about PT (which she is now getting ) until baby was 6 months old.

Your Sis sounds like she has major major issues!

I think a visit to the ped for an "Yep, he's a great healthy baby" is a good idea
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Old 04-01-2007, 09:22 PM   #7
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Re: HELP PLEASE!! Re: CPS...how much should my ds weigh? When should he hold his head

So sorry you are going through this!! All kiddos are different. I would personally tell her where to stick it, but that's just me

With dd, she was chunky from day 1, had rolls you could get lost in! Now at 3, she is 50% and has slimmed down. DS was 8lb 8oz at birth and, like yours, had trouble eating at first and dropped all the way down to 7lb 4oz at around 2ish wks. He is now 9 months and 25lbs!!

As for the head holding, again, it depends on the baby. I know ds took longer than dd to get his still, but not sure on the ages. My niece just turned 4 months and has her head holding down pat. We saw her back in Feb though, at around 11wks, and she was still VERY wobbly at that point.

mama and I hope things work out and she sees what a B**** she is being.
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Old 04-01-2007, 09:25 PM   #8
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Re: HELP PLEASE!! Re: CPS...how much should my ds weigh? When should he hold his head

He looks awesome and healthy to me mama
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Old 04-01-2007, 09:33 PM   #9
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Re: HELP PLEASE!! Re: CPS...how much should my ds weigh? When should he hold his head

I forgot to mention that my Mom was taking up for me & told her that he eats plenty often & that he *always* "runs over" everytime (meaning usually spits up a little) & her reply was "well, when babies are starving their bellies get used to only getting a little & gradually shrink, so they will get full with only a little bit."

Mind you, when I'm away he chugs down a full 4 oz bottle. Is that not enough for a baby his age? (11 wks)

Thanks for all the replies! She is a complete nut-case. What really kills me about the whole thing is that she & I are the only 2 that have the same "blood". I am the oldest of 7 (raised by different sets of parents), she is 3 years younger than me, and we have both the same parents. We should be so close...I'm so jealous of people who have good relationships with their siblings...my 1/2 sister (whom I was raised with & consider to be my *sister* is 6 years younger than I, and I babysit her 7 month old ds (he's in some of the pics). We get along pretty well, but she doen't very well w/ M either...This is just part of what she's done to me in the past...she's hacked into my email accounts, written derrogatory letters about myself, other sister & parents to their employers, hacked into my cell phone account & paid $300 on a bill out of my checking account, causing it to become overdrawn, and eventually be closed, and my phone turned off...still there's more...

Do any of you mamas have any legal background, or advice for stopping hackers/identity theives as well? I've had ENOUGH of her & I"m ready to nail her @$$ to the wall...she's done messing with me & my family!!!!
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Old 04-01-2007, 09:41 PM   #10
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Re: HELP PLEASE!! Re: CPS...how much should my ds weigh? When should he hold his head

First of all, i would make sure she has no contact with your son, period. Make the websiter with the pics, password protected and do not allow your mother to watch your son while she is there.

2nd of all, I think he looks fine. I guess she should call CPS on me too b/c my 3 1/2 mo is very slow gaining. She was 10lbs 14oz at birth. She dropped a lb overnight in the hospital. Now at 15 1/2 weeks only weighs 12lbs 10oz. Here'ssome great info on bf babies and weight gain. There is a calculator there to measure avg oz per week. At this age they should be gaining between 5-7 oz per week. My babies avg weight gain is 2.9o z per week.

There are some signs of malnourishment that my LC went over with me last week. My dd doesn't have them but they are sagging skin on the bottom, saggin skin on the inside of the arms (my dd has a little bit of that,) something with the fontanel (soft spot) I think it's harder than normal, not wetting, etc.

Hang in there mama!
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