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Old 06-29-2011, 08:21 AM   #1
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for those that use tickets and 1-2-3 consquence discipline can u help me.

we are using the 1-2-3 magic discipline where i could them 1 2 3 and i warn them before i count what i am counting for and what the consequence will be if i get to 3. or just a time out at 3. depending.

i have trouble figuring out when to do consquence vs timeout.

also i am trying to implent ticket system where they get a ticket for certain things. like cleaning up when asked. taking trash out. etc. and also they can loose tickets or timeout for yelling timeout. etc.
Please help me. I also trying to implement a daily routine so far i have them eating breakfast when i give it. snack then lunch then snack and dinner.

we are having some tantrums from my 4 yr old. she flips when we take something or put in time out. and my 6 almost 7 yr talks back when put in time out. or looses something.

Please help me. I need to get things under control cuase we are moving to inlaws 3rd wk of july. i need help with what else to put into our routine. and also clear list of what will cause time out. and what will cause loss of ticket.

please help.

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Old 06-29-2011, 08:43 AM   #2
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Re: for those that use tickets and 1-2-3 consquence discipline can u help me.

If they don't like it, you're on the right track!! Just keep doing it. Maybe pick the biggest thing and work on that first then when it gets a little better focus on the next thing, not backing off the first of course. They will have to see you are serious before they start taking you seriously. At this point they still think they can get you to back down. I use 1-2-3 and I almost never get past 1 anymore. I started it years ago, probably 12 years ago, so my younger kids have always seen it and jump when I say 1. Funny thing is before I had kids, I rolled my eyes at moms in the store counting to three. Well I quickly learned I was wrong!! It really works if you are consistent. Good luck.
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Old 06-29-2011, 09:07 AM   #3
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Re: for those that use tickets and 1-2-3 consquence discipline can u help me.

Do you have a chore chart system? I implemented one with my son when he was 4. He actually loves it, as he thrives off of routine. His chores are simple, yet help establish that, as part of our family, he needs to contribute.

His chores are putting all of his dirty dishes in the sink, putting his dirty clothes in his hamper, taking the trash out (not obligated of him, but for some reason this is his favorite. I keep the door open for him and watch him as he walks the trash bag to our cans by the garage), putting away his clean clothes (minus the ones needing to be hung up), and making sure all of his toys are cleared from the living room/kitchen/etc by bedtime.

For each chore he completes, he picks a sticker and puts it on his chart. If, by Sunday, his chart isn't missing any stickers, he gets to pick out a small toy at Wal-Mart (usually a $1 hot wheels car). Some parents don't agree with the reward approach, but it works for our family.

As for discipline, we use natural consequences, and time outs for those that have no natural consequence. For example, throwing a toy gets that toy taken away for an entire 24 hours. If he does something for which there is no natural consequence, such as talking back, he is sent straight to time out for 5 minutes (he's 5). If he talks while in timeout, his entire session starts over. I highly suggest a timer for this. For some reason once I started using one, DS became much more compliable.

DS is very sensitive and reacts strongly to just a raise in our voice, so this system is perfect for him. If I ask him to put his dirty cup in the sink and he doesn't, I start counting. He knows once I get to 3 that's an automatic no-sticker on his chore chart, and he will not be able to get his weekly reward.

That took a few weeks to establish. It was trial and error. He didn't believe that I would follow through on the no-reward, so I had to be sure to enforce it. Once he realized that I wasn't going to budge and let him get his toy, he started to put two and two together.
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Old 06-29-2011, 09:07 AM   #4
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Re: for those that use tickets and 1-2-3 consquence discipline can u help me.

Double post.
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Old 06-29-2011, 09:18 AM   #5
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Re: for those that use tickets and 1-2-3 consquence discipline can u help me.

I agree to the sticker chart system 100%. The visual of getting the sticker and them seeing the progress through the week is encouraging. I also dont have a problem with a $1 car from Walmart, thought between my three boys we would have WAY too many cars in this house! Things that work for us are also getting to run an errand alone with mom or dad, even to the grocery store, gas station, or barber (with dad). They love that because its time with us uninterrupted to talk or laugh or whatever, it costs no money and doesnt bring in any more toys (which mean more cleaning...).

Like PP have said, if theyre resisting you, your in the right direction. They probably love the lack of routine and that they can do whatever they want. Stick to your guns (so to speak) and they will see your serious. Things will change, you just have to wait it out. Good luck!!
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