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Old 11-07-2011, 07:54 PM   #11
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Re: I am absolutely at my wit's end with my 9 mos old and could use some advice

double post - sorry!

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Old 11-07-2011, 07:55 PM   #12
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Re: I am absolutely at my wit's end with my 9 mos old and could use some advice

I can empathize with your frustration, OP. LO has been too distracted to nurse, from time to time and it is really frustrating.

Here are some of my thoughts... under one, solids are just for fun and should only make up 25% or less of a baby's diet until over the age of one. If he is super excited about solids, he may be getting so much that he is backing off of nursing prematurely. Like you said, breastmilk is a better source than solids, at his age, for meeting his nutritional needs. I'd really try to stick with breastfeeding, if possible. I think talking to a consultant with LLL, like pp have mentioned, is a good idea. You need support - its hard to breastfeed a wiggly distracted baby.

I don't know what your long-term plans are but I found this info and thought it might give you some help.

This is from Dr. Jay Gordon:
http://drjaygordon.com/breastfeeding...g-strikes.html

Tips for surviving a strike to nurse again:

Don’t force it. Offer the breast OFTEN but don’t try to force baby to nurse if he doesn’t want to. Remain cheerful. Say “Ok, we’ll nurse later then.”

Do NOT offer any bottles or artificial nipples!!!! This is VERY important. If you want to offer some water or EBM, do so only in a sippy cup. By keeping nursing as the only means by which they can meet their sucking needs, it will help to draw them back to nursing.

Offer the breast when baby is sleepy or even asleep. Sometimes “unconsciousness” allows them to forget why they refused to nurse.

If baby likes baths, get in with him and offer to nurse in the bath. Often times a change of pace/place will encourage a baby back to the breast.

DO NOT REPLACE NURSINGS WITH SOLIDS OR ABM (formula). He will not starve and he will not dehydrate in the few hours to couple of days it takes to break a strike. If you replace his nursings with other things, he has no motivation to return to the breast. He must grasp the message that his needs MUST be met at the breast. Your supply will not be irreparably compromised in the time it takes to break a strike, but you must commit to break it if you want to emerge on the other side nursing.

Sling him. If you don’t have a sling at least carry him often. Keep him close to you and close to your breasts. Try to sing to him to keep him calm and comfortable. Try walking with him in your arms/sling and nursing him while walking.

If your baby’s nose is stuffy, use a few drops of breastmilk in the nose prior to nursing. It will help to clear out the congestions by loosening it as well as provide some of the wonderful antibacterial qualities in breastmilk to fend off a sinus infection. A baby that is stuffy feels like they are being suffocated when they attempt to nurse. Alleviating that feeling that they will smother will help them latch on with less fear.

If you suspect teething is the cause for the strike, you may want to consider a pain reliever. Acetaminophen or Ibuprofen (for babies older than six months) or a combination of the two in alteration may give enough pain relief that baby can latch on. There are other ways to get some pain relief, like putting a wet washcloth in the frig or freezer and giving to baby to suck on prior to attempting to latch. Some babies like their gums rubbed. Experiment and find a way to give some relief

Try other positions. Avoid the usual “nursing chair” because if he’s upset, he’ll associate you sitting in that chair with whatever’s hurting/uncomfortable about nursing.

Remember that a striking baby is no happier about the situation than you are. They want to nurse but for some reason can’t or won’t.

Try not to worry. This is HARD!!! You can feel rejected, hurt, scared, and confused. It’s normal. But remember – he’s uncomfortable – he’s not rejecting you. If you help him he will return to the breast. He wants you to help him through this. You must be more stubborn than he is.

This is not weaning. It helps to remember that. Weaning is a slow and gradual cessation of nursing. A strike is sudden and abrupt. He needs your help to return to the breast. He wants to, he just needs a lot of reassurance that it’s ok. It’s your job as a mother to know that it’s too early for him to wean and is in the best interest of his health and emotional welfare to return to nursing.

You may need to pump to keep yourself comfortable if baby won’t nurse at all. If you do, that’s ok. Just pump and store your milk, or hand express it if you don’t have a pump. You can offer it to him in a sippy cup or freeze it for an emergency stash. This will also help if you’re concerned about supply. But you’ll need to take care of yourself so you don’t get engorged and end up with plugged ducts or mastitis. Take ibuprofen or acetaminophen for any discomfort and don’t forget to keep drinking your water.

Try to nap/sleep with baby. A strike is an exhausting time for you and baby and you need to be well rested physically and emotionally to get through it.


By-the-way, I'd say, based on his current weight, that so far he's been doing a good job with getting what he needs. It sounds like he is very efficient. That can work in his favor.
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Old 11-07-2011, 08:11 PM   #13
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Re: I am absolutely at my wit's end with my 9 mos old and could use some advice

here too! My DS is a lot the same. He also will not NIP for longer than about 15 seconds before he is too distracted. We have to be in a dark quiet room and I feel TONS of guilt for the 2 times a day (before naps) that I have to leave my 3yo daughter alone in front of a DVD so I can get baby to drink his milk and go to sleep. He does not like to nurse when he just wakes up so he only nurses 2-3 times during the day, right before bed (although he decided to skip that tonight) and then like 5-6 times during the night! So I feel you on the sleep deprivation. I do think the whole not eating during the day eating a lot at night is probably what is normal and natural (hard to imagine in our "is your baby sleeping through the night yet" culture). I think a majority of babies at that age are distracted during the day and make up for it at night. They also get more efficient at that age and you would be surprised how much he is getting in in a minute or two. Definitely contact an LC and see if you can find one with an ultra sensitive scale so you can do a pre and post weigh with nursing to see how efficient your LO is. And as hard as it is, keep up the night nursing. I have heard of babies that actually reverse cycle when their moms work and won't have any breast milk during the day but will get all of their breast milk needs at night. Remember this is such a short time in their lives! This too shall pass!
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Old 11-07-2011, 08:21 PM   #14
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Man, OP. I feel for you. I wish I had good advice. I would definitely get with a lactation consultant and LLL. Both are awesome resources. Talk to any BFing mommas you know, too. My DS BFed for 30 months without problems. The only problem I had was weaning him and his incessant telling me that "I need to be drinkin' a booby." Lol. I wish you luck. Don't feel bad if he does wean early, though. You tried hard and any BFing is better than none.
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Old 11-08-2011, 05:39 AM   #15
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Re: I am absolutely at my wit's end with my 9 mos old and could use some advice

I can relate with you. My DS2 is this way. He will pop on and off the breast several times during a feeding if he even hears or sees anything. Ik I had the opposite with DS1 were he would nurse for hours and hours and that is why im sure he didn't wean until 3. My DS2 still nurses alot during the day and night just pops on and off. It is interesting in public when he is poping on and off trying not to flash everyone around. I think going to a LLL meeting would be helpful as others have said. I don't have advice but just had to comment. Good Luck mama!
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