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Old 07-01-2011, 06:21 PM   #1
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HELP! Talk me off the ledge...

Okay, figuratively speaking! DS is 3 months old and change. We have ebf the whole time and he's only had a couple bottles of pumped milk. DH has asked a lot about bottles but I have said no because my first 2 got a nightly bottle starting around 3-4 weeks and even though I pumped it hurt my supply. They also developed a preference and weaned themselves by 5 months. I was sad so I said this time I will ebf for 1 year for sure and after that let ds decide.

Well, to say ds is attached to mom is an understatement! Most days I don't get a shower until DH is home. DH can't even hold him long enough for me to shower. The kid screams until I take him again. We're visiting family right now and he won't let anyone hold him. All these hands eager and ready to give me a break and he cries until I take him back. It's like a switch as soon as I pick him up!

DH thinks that if we did more regular bottles that he wouldn't be this way. Our other kids didn't have this problem. (refer to 1st paragraph...). I don't know or think that he is right, but I guess the worn out, would like to be able to leave my kid with someone so I can go to the gym or out for a bit mama is wondering if he may be right. But at the same time I really do want to ebf and I know this type of behavior sort of "goes with the territory".

Ugh...what are your experiences? Especially those of you similar to me. I am a sahm so what's the point of bottles, right? I am not worn out or ready to give up ebf. It's going well so there's really no issue there. I just can't leave his sight!

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Old 07-01-2011, 06:46 PM   #2
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I am right there with ya, and my LO is only 7 wks. Can you try to give a bottle and see if he'll even take it? I worry about it affecting my supply/nipple confusion too, so I am not going to push a bottle but we are trying once a week to see if she'll take it eventually. I'd hate to push it too much and ruin what we've got going on. If EBF is going well, why mess with what ain't broken??

Could he be clingy for other reasons? I mean, the fact that he's EBF cannot be the only reason for it! Maybe he's just a Momma's boy and there is nothing wrong with that!
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Old 07-01-2011, 07:55 PM   #3
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My now 2 year old did this, and she only got pumped milk from bottles (wouldn't latch). She was just very mommy attached. But now at 2 she is my most independent child and is very friendly and outgoing.

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Old 07-01-2011, 08:02 PM   #4
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My YDD is JUST like that but she's 8 months! I have been the same mama with each of them and none of them EVER had a bottle and only my youngest and oldest were clingy like that. I really think it is just temperament. My oldest is 13 now and was the youngest child in her nursery to sleep over at someone's house. She was 3 1/2 and still nursing but loved sleeping over at friends houses. They grow and change and I really believe if you give your babies what they need they become very independent when they get past the early years.
Keep up the great work and trust me they out grow it and I doubt bottles would change his ways. If you need some space you can try it, but I don't believe the lack of bottles is causing him to be a mama's boy.
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Old 07-01-2011, 08:46 PM   #5
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My dd is 4 months and is exactly the same way. She is my first so I don't have any great advice but only to sympathize with you. It took a while but I've basically accepted it.

My dh also wanted me to pump and make bottles for her so I can have a "break", so we tried two times. Both times she screamed through the entire thing and I couldn't relax anyway.

I really didn't want to give her a bottle anyway so I'm kind of happy she won't take them.

I'm sure it would be nice to do my own thing every once in a while but oh well, my daughter is more important to me.
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Old 07-01-2011, 08:49 PM   #6
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I also wanted to say that I just started taking a shower with dd. I got a bumbo seat and she sits in it while I wash myself, then we play together under the water. This way I can still get a shower and don't have to go all day being smelly!
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Old 07-02-2011, 01:17 PM   #7
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Re: HELP! Talk me off the ledge...

DS2 was the exact same way... but I exclusively pumped for him, so he only got bottles. I really don't think giving your DS bottles would help his separation anxiety. I know nursing can make the bond between mother/baby stronger, but some babies simply have a preference for one parent. It does get better, I promise! DS2 is almost 21 months old, and while he's still strongly attached to me, he's getting a lot better at letting other people hold/play with him!
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Old 07-02-2011, 03:00 PM   #8
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Re: HELP! Talk me off the ledge...

My ds is the same (he is 3mos) but he is bottle-fed (bm & formula). He will only let me feed him and only wants me to hold him. Calms immediately when I take him. If I am able to actually put him down for a second and I walk out of the room...even if he can't see me leave the room...he wails. My hubby says he can smell me. I do think it will get better but I'm not sure when
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Old 07-02-2011, 04:04 PM   #9
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Re: HELP! Talk me off the ledge...

My son is a big mama's boy so he's really attached to me. He eventually got over it and will sit with people long enough to give me a little break...unless he's tired than he wants me to hold him and no one else.lol. It's not so bad anymore though. I've been breastfeeding him for almost a year now with no bottles.
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Old 07-02-2011, 04:07 PM   #10
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Re: HELP! Talk me off the ledge...

I really think it's just his temperament and he will likely get more comfortable with others as he grows. I don't see how a bottle would help if he really wants you, not others, holding him.

Temperament is huge, IMO. I am constantly astonished at how different my toddler and my infant are in temperament. I *still* have to nurse my almost-3-year-old DD to sleep at naps if we want her to sleep at all. With my 3-month-old, we just make sure he's fed, changed, and swaddled, and put him in the PnP and he goes to sleep by himself!!! This is so astonishing to DH and me. Both are/were BF and our parenting has been essentially the same.
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