Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-07-2011, 06:38 AM   #1
songbird516's Avatar
songbird516
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 6,164
My Mood:
My husband found out...

..and I didn't even have to tell him. He read it on my face. I do NOT have a poker face at all. He just shook his head and said that I had better take a test...then I told him that i already had..and I think he was a little upset that i didn't tell him right away (monday). I explained that it was because our daughter has been sick, and I didn't want to tell him until she was feeling better, or we knew what the problem was.

But of course, I just lost my job, so now he's REALLY worried about money. I don't personally see the big deal- march is a long way away, and we will have most of our debt paid off by then if we are good about it, and if I get enough unemployment or find a way to make money.

So he left the room for a while, and I thought that it would take hours for him to talk to me without accusing me of lying to him (he recently asked if I was pregnant, and I said 'no', but that was literally the day after conception, so I couldn't have known, but he doesn't get that). But, he came around faster than I thought. He started car shopping for a bigger car, lol. And I didn't quite get a kiss by the end of the night, but at least he's not mad at me.

I guess I'm just kind of bummed out because I REALLY wanted to wait until she was 2, and he knew that, and was kind of okay with it. He would have been okay with one child, but he knew that I wanted another one. Now I almost don't want to tell people, because when they ask "was it planned?" and you know they will- I will have to say "no", which is the same as saying, "I screwed up again!!" sigh. I guess I should get over myself. I think that I just really wanted us both to be happy about it, not worried because of our circumstances.

Advertisement

__________________
Sara- mommy to Claire (01/10) and Micah (3/12) and someone new (10/14)
Birth doula and life-long student of Everything! Need a doula in the central VA area? Let's talk! www.beyondbirthsupport.com
songbird516 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2011, 06:46 AM   #2
bezark's Avatar
bezark
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 3,408
My Mood:
I'm sorry he didn't react like you'd hoped, but I'm sure he'll come around.

DH has never been one to grip me up in a hug and do a little jig when I tell him, but within a few days he's just as excited as I am. It just takes a bit for the panic to subside, even though 2/3 of our pregnancies were planned.

Remind him that new babies are cheap.
With your daughter being so young Id bet you still have a lot of the necessities, so you'll need, what? A car seat? Maybe some less girly clothing if it's a boy? If you've only got one DD at the moment, I can't imagine why you'd need a larger vehicle, but if you can afford it and it makes him happy, let him shop.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum
__________________
Robbyn, SAHM to Silas, 4/3/09 and Griffin, 3/23/12
bezark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2011, 06:48 AM   #3
bccc624's Avatar
bccc624
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,230
My Mood:
Re: My husband found out...

Awww My DF is already starting to stress about money and space too. I think it's just what men do. I'm sure your DH will come around, he just might need some time, unfortunately. They say that everything happens for a reason, including when it happens. I personally do not believe anything is a coincidence or accident. As far as when people say "was it planned" you can just say something to the effect of "it was very much wanted". I feel like people get way too nosy about a pregnancy anyway, but maybe that's just me.
__________________
Brandi married to my best friend
6/08 & 2/12 & Angel Princess 5/24/13 - 5/26/13
Expecting our RAINBOW May 2014

bccc624 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2011, 06:48 AM   #4
bezark's Avatar
bezark
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 3,408
My Mood:
And as for folks asking whether or not this baby was planned- that's a really rude question and *none of their business.*
I would be totally blunt and tell them just that.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum
__________________
Robbyn, SAHM to Silas, 4/3/09 and Griffin, 3/23/12
bezark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2011, 07:03 AM   #5
songbird516's Avatar
songbird516
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 6,164
My Mood:
Re: My husband found out...

We have a pretty small car right now- Subaru Impreza hatchback. I love it, but I drive other people around quite a bit, so it will be too small for 2 carseats and other people. It's a lease and the lease ends next June, so it will be okay timing- the baby will only be a few months old, then we can upgrade to another car. We will probably get a used car instead of a lease.
__________________
Sara- mommy to Claire (01/10) and Micah (3/12) and someone new (10/14)
Birth doula and life-long student of Everything! Need a doula in the central VA area? Let's talk! www.beyondbirthsupport.com
songbird516 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2011, 08:15 AM   #6
ommelissa's Avatar
ommelissa
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: the deep south
Posts: 2,688
My Mood:
Re: My husband found out...

Hugs, Sarah. Mine was a surprise, too. And my husband took several days to get ahppy about it. Timing seems terrible...we have a 9 month old, and three older kids. We have a 3 BR house and I just resigned form my job as well. But it will be okay with time. I also believe that every baby is planned. It might not have been planned by you, but it was planned nonetheless.

Robbyn - I just noticed your siggy. I'm a student midwife (and doula), too!
__________________
Melissa ~
facebook
‎‎
ommelissa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2011, 05:44 PM   #7
UCmama09
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 315
Re: My husband found out...

Aww, ((HUGS)) mama It will all work out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bezark View Post
And as for folks asking whether or not this baby was planned- that's a really rude question and *none of their business.*
I would be totally blunt and tell them just that.
UCmama09 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2011, 05:56 PM   #8
songbird516's Avatar
songbird516
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 6,164
My Mood:
Re: My husband found out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ommelissa View Post
Hugs, Sarah. Mine was a surprise, too. And my husband took several days to get ahppy about it. Timing seems terrible...we have a 9 month old, and three older kids. We have a 3 BR house and I just resigned form my job as well. But it will be okay with time. I also believe that every baby is planned. It might not have been planned by you, but it was planned nonetheless.

Robbyn - I just noticed your siggy. I'm a student midwife (and doula), too!
My goal is also to be a midwife I was hoping to attend a school next year, but that probably won't happen now..
__________________
Sara- mommy to Claire (01/10) and Micah (3/12) and someone new (10/14)
Birth doula and life-long student of Everything! Need a doula in the central VA area? Let's talk! www.beyondbirthsupport.com
songbird516 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2011, 05:57 PM   #9
MichelleSG's Avatar
MichelleSG
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 621
My Mood:
Re: My husband found out...

Hubby's don't always have the emotional fortitude to handle changes like this. My hubby (we weren't married when we pregnant the first time) was mortified when we accidentally made dd#1 and could not understand why I wasn't getting an abortion. I had a college degree, good job, and excellent health insurance so no real good excuse to kill my kid. I told him he didn't have to help out and he said his mom would never forgive him. Now you know why I turned him down when he proposed the first time. Now he worships our dd and has since she came into this world (dumb ***) and has wanted a second for awhile. Needless to say I've been more than a tad reluctant to go for #2 (2years of untreated PPD will do that to a woman) so it took me 8 years to disscuss then try for a second. It took us almost 2 years to get pregnant and then he tells me that he's 'resentful' about this one. WTF? This was the PLANNED one. We even did a freaking round of Clomid. We're 38 yrs old, my biological clock is past expired 3 years ago. And didn't we plan this one?
Like I said, hubby's are not always of the emotional fortitude to handle such things....
__________________
Crazy semi-crunchy scientist mama to 1 DD almost 10 yrs old and DD 2 born July '11. CDing, extended vaxing, ERF, even been known to co-sleep (gasp!), and trying my best to baby wear a very persnickety diva.
MichelleSG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2011, 08:47 AM   #10
ommelissa's Avatar
ommelissa
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: the deep south
Posts: 2,688
My Mood:
Re: My husband found out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by songbird516 View Post
My goal is also to be a midwife I was hoping to attend a school next year, but that probably won't happen now..
I do the "Midwife to Be" program for my academics and apprentice with my midwife for skills and experience. My goal is to eventually be a CPM.
I like MTB because it's self-paced and inexpensive compared to most of the other distance programs. You've probably already read some of the required books through your doula program...a lot of them overlap (with DONA anyway). It's worth looking into if you want to keep working toward your goals while you're childbearing.
__________________
Melissa ~
facebook
‎‎
ommelissa is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.