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Old 07-16-2011, 06:52 PM   #1
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Sensitive kiddos - who else has them?

I'm coming to terms with the fact that both of my nuggets are sensitive..."spirited" some may call it. DS1 was a pretty great baby & didn't show much signs of this until about 6 months ago. DS2 has been a sensitive little thing since day 1, pretty much.

We're having some issues with DS1. He's having complete hysterical crying fits when other kids try to touch/play with his toys, or when another child yells too loudly. He seems to scare very very easily & even at this tender age [he's not even 3] has talked of monsters in his room or seemed spooked by something that's supposed to be just for fun on a kids show [like an episode of The Backyardigans where they were ghosts]. If he does something he knows we don't particularly like & we get a little stern with him, he'll tear up & repeat over & over "you're not mad", not so much as a question but as if he's trying to reassure himself. Today he got the knee of his pants a bit wet when he knelt in a very shallow puddle & we didn't have a change of clothes with us & he complained about his knee for a good hour. These are the sorts of things that are beginning to happen on a daily basis...& it's exhausting.

Any suggestions on what I can do to be a better parent to a child with these sorts of sensitivities? Right now, esp. with dealing with a sensitive 9 month old, my patience is not what it should be. I don't want to scar DS1 for life by not attending to his needs but it's SO hard when sometimes I just want him to suck it up & brush things off.

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Old 07-16-2011, 07:59 PM   #2
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Could some of these be along the lines of sensory issues?

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Old 07-16-2011, 09:28 PM   #3
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Re: Sensitive kiddos - who else has them?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AniBee View Post
We're having some issues with DS1. He's having complete hysterical crying fits when other kids try to touch/play with his toys, or when another child yells too loudly. He seems to scare very very easily & even at this tender age [he's not even 3] has talked of monsters in his room or seemed spooked by something that's supposed to be just for fun on a kids show [like an episode of The Backyardigans where they were ghosts]. If he does something he knows we don't particularly like & we get a little stern with him, he'll tear up & repeat over & over "you're not mad", not so much as a question but as if he's trying to reassure himself. Today he got the knee of his pants a bit wet when he knelt in a very shallow puddle & we didn't have a change of clothes with us & he complained about his knee for a good hour.

Boy, you just described my 3.5yo almost exactly! (Except she doesn't have a problem with loud noises, since usually SHE is the one making them...). The part that really struck me is that your DS says "You're not mad.." when you are stern with him - DD always says (through her tears) "Mom, you're making me sad..." or "Mom, you gave me feelings" , even if all I did was say "Don't cram a lego in your brother's eye socket." Lately I've been trying to approach this instead by saying things like, "How would you feel if your brother tried to cram a lego in your eye socket? Do you think it would hurt?" and then letting HER come to the conclusion that it was a bad idea and she should apologize. It doesn't always work, but then I'm not always on the receiving end of a particularly harsh mommy guilt trip...

I'm interested in hearing more input on this, too.
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Old 07-16-2011, 09:57 PM   #4
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Re: Sensitive kiddos - who else has them?

This sounds like my daughter too. She doesn't like when we laugh and tells us to stop laughing, she can't handle other loud children although sometimes its ok, she only occasionally loses it when I discipline her. I am very interested in this thread too. I never thought about sensory issues.
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Old 07-16-2011, 10:41 PM   #5
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Re: Sensitive kiddos - who else has them?

my nephew is so much like this, i would love any feedback/info/help on it. my SIL is at her wits end. maybe some ladies can say some stuff to help!
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Old 07-17-2011, 07:50 AM   #6
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Re: Sensitive kiddos - who else has them?

It's sad for me to say I'm relieved my LO isn't the only one with these issues :/

He's generally the sweetest kid, esp. when he wakes up in a good mood & is happy to play independently with his toys, but he gets excited to be around other children, esp. his "best friend" Connor, a 2.5 year old that lives down the street. But once together, it's a nightmare. DS clutches onto any toy he has & will not share, but he also becomes somewhat introverted & doesn't like to play. Actually, when he first meets a child/children he plays well UNTIL some sort of incident happens where a toy is grabbed from him or there's yelling he doesn't like & from then on he has a hard time interacting with that child/children.

He was in nursery school for 3+ months but we had to pull him out because it was too traumatic for him. Most of the children were older & I think that along with probably being bullied a bit, his issues with sharing & being sensitive were just too much. We went to see his photos being done during class picture day & I was almost sobbing because of how completely unhappy & unsettled he seemed. It was very very apparent that his little spirit was being broken & we did not take him back after that day.

I love him so dearly & it breaks my heart to see him be so sensitive to everything. It also makes me sad to see other children his age playing together & even if there is a moment of not sharing or a tantrum, they seem to get over it & learn to play with others, while my little guy just melts into a crying mess making him have a miserable time & my time spent consoling or apologizing or just wanting to crawl under a rock :/
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Old 07-17-2011, 08:31 AM   #7
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Re: Sensitive kiddos - who else has them?

This is a lot like my almost 4 year old. We also have a 16 mo old at home. My DD1 (almost 4) is the same way. If we yell at her (and I don't really mean yell but ask her to not do something or correct her behavior) she will cry and say "I love you" as if looking for reassurance too. If she gets dirty at dinner it's a screaming fit until we take off the soiled clothes or clean it off. She is super sensitive to being dirty and if she sees someone get hurt or something break she also gets hysterical.

One day we were getting ready for dinner and my dH covered a pot with a plate to keep it warm and the plate slipped off and broke on the floor. She was no where near it but got really upset that it broke. We had to convince her with another plate that daddy fixed it for her to calm down. We also went through a monster phase around 2 1/2.

I am hoping this is somewhat normal as they start to develop and become more independent that they still need us for reassurance. Especially with a younger one at home too the older ones still need so much and we see them as not needing as much because they can do so much on thier own. I find myself doing this all the time. I send DD1 to the bathroom to wash up after dinner on her own because 9 times out of 10 she does just fine by herself but she still likes me to help her and sometimes I am just too busy to do it.

Be patient and hopefully they will grow out of it. A friend of mine suggested I get my daughter to take something that would support her central nervous system like Fish oil or something like that. She won't take it but I can get her to take a mulit vitamin and when she does she seems a little better.
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