View Poll Results: separation anxiety @ the gym: Do you ...
go more often in hopes DC gets used to it 29 30.53%
keep going just 1-2x a week 46 48.42%
stop going, it's cruel to leave 'em crying 20 21.05%
Voters: 95. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-03-2007, 10:01 PM   #1
pingumel's Avatar
pingumel
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,898
My Mood:
separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

DS is 16-17 months old and has just developed separation anxiety at the gym daycare. when i started going, he was 14 months and loved it. now he cries when i set foot in it. i'm pretty sure it's a separation anxiety issue because i've noticed it at home too (like when DH takes him away to change a diaper or put him to bed).

at first he would just cry for a few minutes and be fine.
now he wants to be held the whole time. as long as he's held, he doesn't cry, but as soon as he's put down he starts to cry. at least for the first half hour. then he just starts crying more and i usually end up showering at home (i usually call in to check on him before i shower)

i know that separation anxiety is normal, and some folks would say that they just have to get used to it. and the more regular you can make it (like leaving at the same time every day for the same amount of time) the better. and others would say that that's cruel.

so would you go to the gym more often, just to make it a regular /almost daily practice? keep going just a couple times a week (supposing that is status quo)? or just never leave the kids, and hope that it goes away on its own? i'm interested in seeing what range (or if there is a range) of approaches is out there.

Advertisement

__________________
- mel
mom to Evan 11/05
pingumel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2007, 10:06 PM   #2
mistylaureena's Avatar
mistylaureena
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Greeley, CO
Posts: 6,359
My Mood:
Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

I voted 1-2 times a week but that pernmitting that hes not excessively crying ya know?? This is teh number one reason why I havent gone back to the gym so I guess I dint have any helpful advice..LOL...Mikes just cries when I leave so I feel guilty leaving him so I just dont go..instead I started walking outside when possible and putting him in my beco and just going

but the gym daycare ladies suggested that I come for like 15-20 same time everyday until mikes is used to the same people who work that time and then hopefully he will get used to them and feel more comfy staying there while I work out ya know?? Maybe try that?
__________________
Misty--Mama to Mikey.... crossing fingers for more babies!
mistylaureena is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2007, 11:16 PM   #3
happyhomemom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 705
My Mood:
Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

My son is 17 months old and we do not leave him but he had the at home separation anxiety for 3 months. I had to always be with him. He wanted to shower with me go to the bathroom with me and he wanted mommy and daddy to lay with him to go to bed. We just let it run its course and now he is fine again. He runs off and plays with his friends again and I can shower alone again.
I would stop going to the gym for a few months. He is trying to tell you what he needs. Which is to see you all the time right now. It will pass quicker if he can be secure you are there. If you continue to leave him and let him cry, it will take longer for him to be secure that you will always be there for him. So take a break from the gym enjoy the spring weather and get your exercise in the park with your little guy.
__________________
A Jesus loving mom to 6 forever kids and a bunch of bonus kids that stay in our home for a short while but in our hearts forever.
happyhomemom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-03-2007, 11:27 PM   #4
jjaelovesenglish's Avatar
jjaelovesenglish
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 7,093
My Mood:
Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

Good question, my DD is about the same age and going through the same thing but at home. I don't have any advice and I didn't vote because I am clueless as to what to do.
__________________
visit my website: Madison's Colorful Dreams Now closed check out what's left
jjaelovesenglish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 12:09 AM   #5
qtpies7's Avatar
qtpies7
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 158
Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

I don't necesarrily think its "cruel" to leave them crying, and if you NEED to work out, then do it. But from experience I can tell you that just giving it up for now will help with security in your child later. I had VERY clingy kids when they were little, and I just went with it. Now they will go anywhere anytime with anyone and feel comfortable. I think they were 3 before that happened, but it did happen.
My younger two are different. They are growing up with much older siblings, so they are always safe and loved and protected, even when it isn't mom! Its freeing for me! They love church, going places, etc, and the very short time my dd3 did go through not wanting to go to Sunday School, it was very short lived, we let her stay with us, and she quickly decided our class was boring, hehe. As long as she was well-behaved, we didn't mind taking her with us.
Can you work out when dh is home? At least that is different than with a daycare worker. Not mamma, but better and you get to work out.
Your child will survive no matter which option you choose, though! Thats just what worked for me.
__________________

Lisa
sahm to 7qtpies! Drew 18, Kaytlin 16, Devon 15, Cody 12, Hope-Anne 11, Trinity 4, and Samuel 1.
Visit my blog for fun, giveaways, product reviews and just plain crazy stuff that happens in our household. http://www.qtpies7.com
qtpies7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 07:16 AM   #6
CakeMama's Avatar
CakeMama
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,084
Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

not trying to be a rain cloud, but if he loved it and then suddenly hates it, have you checked to make sure he's well treated while there?
__________________
Lindsey.
mama to R {9} and L {7} and a surprise baby girl due 5/2015
Shop LRstitched.: HC | Etsy | Blog
CakeMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 07:17 AM   #7
ThreeBunniesMoma's Avatar
ThreeBunniesMoma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lee's Summit,MO
Posts: 2,666
My Mood:
Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

I work in the childcare at a local gym and we do everything we can to ease seperation anxiety from parents. Most of the time we hold the crying child read to them or try to get them interested in playing or a craft. If the child cries longer than 10 minutes unless parents specify sooner then we go get the parent and let them know. Most of the time the child stops crying withing 5 minutes or less and is totaly fine until mom or dad come and pick them up.
__________________
Kristin,Christ follower, Moma to
H 8/01, I 3/03, A 2/06 & G 9/09
ThreeBunniesMoma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 07:23 AM   #8
Manna00's Avatar
Manna00
Pinchin' pennies 'til they scream
sitesupporter
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: South Western, Virginia
Posts: 29,986
My Mood:
Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

I said keep going once or twice a week--let him get used to it again. Mom's need a mental (and physical) break every now and again. Of course, maybe you can check out the daycare (without him seeing you!) to make sure that all of the conditions are good.
__________________
Come "like" The Screaming Penny on Facebook HERE Groupon Eversave
Discover Swagbucks (FAQ) then join Swagbucks
[B]
Manna00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 07:31 AM   #9
e_mom_e's Avatar
e_mom_e
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sunny Florida *
Posts: 1,472
My Mood:
Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

my ds is 12 months and he has gone through a few stages but they were all short and he seemed to do fine as long as I left quickly and didn't make a big fuss. Our friends baby who is about 6 months older has had a bigger issue with it, and they found the same thing worked that if they just left while the caregiver distracted him he was ok. The longer they stayed and coddled him the worse it got.

For my ds I think what has helped him is that we are always around people, like at church and with our friends. Everyone wants to play with him and hold him and I always let them, so he loves everyone he meets and knows that I am always going to come back. SO maybe you could try to get him around lots of people and let others hold him while you are still standing there. Possibly even in the daycare, just let them hold him while you play in the corner or with another baby or talking with another worker/mom or something. But here's a strange one for ya...my son now actually cries when I walk INTO THE ROOM . Anytime I have him in the nursery and I come in to pick him up he sees me, starts crying and comes right to me. strange. But he's ok afterwards and they say he had such a blast the whole time and never cried. go figure. anyway hope this helps a little
__________________
-E- SAHM mom to 4/06 and 07/09
e_mom_e is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2007, 08:37 AM   #10
EmnJJsMom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,554
Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

As long as the crying isnt too excessive, (which can be bad all around, stresses you, baby, AND the childcare worker) I would say to continue going 1-2 times a week, especially if it's a good de-stresser for you. Going daily might get him "used to it" faster, but I personally wouldnt do it knowing it stresses my child out. *Hugs* to you mama, my DD is 15 months old and I havent left her yet for the same reason LOL
EmnJJsMom is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.