View Poll Results: separation anxiety @ the gym: Do you ...
go more often in hopes DC gets used to it 29 30.53%
keep going just 1-2x a week 46 48.42%
stop going, it's cruel to leave 'em crying 20 21.05%
Voters: 95. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-04-2007, 09:53 AM   #11
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Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

I have to leave my child ay daycare everyday, so in my case it something dd has to get used to. It hasn't been a problem yet at all, until today. She cried and held out her arms to me as I was leaving. It was terrible!! Thank goodness School is almost out!!


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Old 04-04-2007, 09:55 AM   #12
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Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

Originally Posted by lrhodes View Post
not trying to be a rain cloud, but if he loved it and then suddenly hates it, have you checked to make sure he's well treated while there?
ITA! What is he doing while there?
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Old 04-04-2007, 09:56 AM   #13
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Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

Each of my kids have been so different with this. Some don't care if I leave and others scream the whole time. I keep trying and talk to them about it if their stressed out and usually it only takes a few more times for them to feel comfortable.
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Old 04-04-2007, 11:28 AM   #14
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Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

My DD and I have a game: when she cries at the door at drop-off time, I give her a hug and say, "Are you ready to go play?" If she says no or cries or clings, I give her another hug and say, "How 'bout now?" We might repeat that 3-4 more times, but more often than not she goes willingly to play or be held by one of the workers.

I don't like to leave her screaming; usually I try to settle her first. I have HAD to leave her screaming though cause sometimes I'm just at the end of my rope. I say, just keep working out on your regular schedule and see if he doesn't adjust to it. (As long as you're sure---like a pp mentioned---that everything is cool inside the daycare, that it's safe and all. Talk to the teachers and ask them if anything's up or if another child is maybe picking on him or taking up a lot of the teachers' attention.)

It gets better.
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Old 04-04-2007, 12:09 PM   #15
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Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

I dealt w/ this issue myself when I started going back to school and dd was 15 months. She would cry and cry for me. I leave her w/ family because I feel more comfortable that wya but it still killed me to leave her crying. Now she sitll cries 1/2 the time and she's 22 months but before I even get to my car she's stopped crying so it's more of a don't go but once I'm out of sight she's done no more crying. I would say keep doing it and it will get better. Then just spend extra cuddle time when you get done. Also does he have a lovie or anything like a toy he plays w/ a lot or anything sometimes I found it helps to send a familiar object w/ them. For us its a baby and her paci for you it may be a car he likes or a stuffed animal or something but something that he knows is his and he can take with him and then take home again too may make it a little better. Good luck and it will get better I promise
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Old 04-04-2007, 12:37 PM   #16
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Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

I voted to keep going the same amount. BUT, I recommend going into the daycare with him and staying for *maybe* 20 minutes to help him feel more comfortable. Then the next time, stay with him for 15 minutes, 10 minutes, etc. gradually dropping it down so that it's a more gradual adjustment.

I'd also keep a sharp eye out for how they are treating the babies. I'd also be suspicious of him suddenly not liking it after being fine for a couple of months.
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Old 04-04-2007, 12:44 PM   #17
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Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

I'd try it out. My DD cries when I go to the gym ( 5 days a week, same time, same ladt in the daycare) I go for an hour and she cries for an hour. I used to feel bad but i'm not always going to be there KWIM?
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Old 04-05-2007, 11:54 AM   #18
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Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

i'm pretty sure that it isn't anything in the daycare - the separation anxiety has suddenly become an issue at home, too. i've peeked in on him and things seem to be fine, and i know several other moms who use that same daycare and love it. so hopefully that's not the issue.

i've been trying to run outside when it's warm, but this week it's highs in the 30s ... and i want to train for a triathlon, so i need access to the bike and pool eventually.

that's good advice about going at the same time of day every time. i've been moving it around, in hopes that maybe his anxiety is worse when he's cranky (like right before a nap), but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

we took a 2 week break when he was sick, but DH took him to the gym yesterday and he was better at first (as in, he didn't start crying the minute we stepped in!), but started crying after half an hour and they called DH back overhead. we always leave a paci (so much for trying to wean off the paci during the day), which helps a little probably, but certainly not enough.
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Old 04-05-2007, 12:07 PM   #19
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Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

if your baby is screaming the WHOLE time you are gone.. then I would just stay .. but if the fit is just a few mins after you leave.. and when you walk in the door... you can go as much as you need to
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Old 04-06-2007, 02:00 PM   #20
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Re: separation anxiety - test 'em or never leave?

Originally Posted by ThreeBunniesMoma View Post
I work in the childcare at a local gym and we do everything we can to ease seperation anxiety from parents. Most of the time we hold the crying child read to them or try to get them interested in playing or a craft. If the child cries longer than 10 minutes unless parents specify sooner then we go get the parent and let them know. Most of the time the child stops crying withing 5 minutes or less and is totaly fine until mom or dad come and pick them up.
This is the jist of what I read in an article on separation anxiety the other day. Seems like distraction continues to be key at this age. Since it rips my heart out to hear DD cry for more than a little while, I'd prob. add to that being involved in the activity, then explain that I'll be back in a little while (maybe w/ using a sticker on the clock so he knows that when the hands touch that sticker, you'll be back.) I'd prob. make my 'away' times really short at first so he gets that I really AM going to 'be right back', then lengthen the duration till I can get a full workout.

I'm seeing the beginnings of this when DH takes DD to change her diaper, but she could care less when I leave the house. I wish it'd stay that way, but your post reminds me that my time will come, too

Hope it resolves itself quickly so you can get your 'you' time and not have to see your LO sad. (Oh, and can you work out for me, too? I could really use it! )
Erika--Cloth Diapering (again!), Extended Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Signing and Delayed/Selective Vaxxing Mama to 7y/o Ramie, 4 y/o Reese and newbie Sebastian
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