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Old 07-21-2011, 04:07 PM   #1
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help! Any advice for an almost 4yo???

I am at a point that I don't know what to try next...

My DD will be 4 in mid-august. She has been in panties full time since she was 38 months. the problem is, she is going through 2-5 pairs of panties (and shorts/skirts/sometimes even shirts) a day. Obviously we were having good days for a while or I wouldn't have put her into panties to begin with... but I don't remember those days anymore. since I have been "keeping track" in April we have had only a handful of completely dry days.

She KNOWS she has to go potty, she just won't do it. She will if I tell her, but I can't be there 24/7 to tell her it is time to go potty. She thinks it is funny that she wets her pants.

I really don't know what to do at this point.

To top it off DS is getting ready to start (he is not quite there physically, but he will be soon) and of course we will be adding #3 very soon...

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Old 07-23-2011, 07:34 PM   #2
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Re: help! Any advice for an almost 4yo???

i would stick it out and stay in panties....has she had a check up? make sure she doesn't have a UTI? Also as she gets older she will start to care.
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Old 07-24-2011, 11:10 AM   #3
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Re: help! Any advice for an almost 4yo???

Considering her age, have you tried a reward system for staying dry all day, or maybe even rewards for each time of successfully going in the potty? Perhaps stickers on a chart to add up to getting something special? Going out for ice cream, or getting to go to a favorite playground are motivating for my kids. Mine are also highly motivated by mini-marshmallows as a potty reward. Eventually they forget to ask for their marshmallow so it isnt too bad. For my almost 5-year-old, he needs to do everything independently (wiping) and remember to flush, fix his clothes, wash hands, turn off the light before he gets a marshmallow.
Also, since she thinks it is funny to have accidents, if she were my kid, I would also consider consequences for laughing about the accident. Not like a punishment for *having* the accident, but a little lesson about why it's not funny. If she has an accident but is having an "oops, I will try to get it in the potty next time" type of attitude then that would not have a consequence.
I hope i am making sense!
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Old 07-24-2011, 11:31 AM   #4
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Re: help! Any advice for an almost 4yo???

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i would stick it out and stay in panties....has she had a check up? make sure she doesn't have a UTI? Also as she gets older she will start to care.
No UTI, but that is a good thought... I really am of the belief it is willful, because she tells us that she knew she needed to go but she "didn't want to stop" whatever it is she was doing.

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Considering her age, have you tried a reward system for staying dry all day, or maybe even rewards for each time of successfully going in the potty? Perhaps stickers on a chart to add up to getting something special? Going out for ice cream, or getting to go to a favorite playground are motivating for my kids. Mine are also highly motivated by mini-marshmallows as a potty reward. Eventually they forget to ask for their marshmallow so it isnt too bad. For my almost 5-year-old, he needs to do everything independently (wiping) and remember to flush, fix his clothes, wash hands, turn off the light before he gets a marshmallow.
Also, since she thinks it is funny to have accidents, if she were my kid, I would also consider consequences for laughing about the accident. Not like a punishment for *having* the accident, but a little lesson about why it's not funny. If she has an accident but is having an "oops, I will try to get it in the potty next time" type of attitude then that would not have a consequence.
I hope i am making sense!
Yep, you are making complete sense, unfortunately I have tried all that to no avail.

We have tried rewards for staying dry all day, for each time she tells us that she needs to potty before her accident (or if she just goes in there and goes w/o telling us as well), etc... We have tried many different rewards for each time, each day, each week, and we even have a big one for a month dry... i have never even used a weekly prize and I a total of less than 10 daily prizes since March... If she laughs about it she gets timeout.

I really wanted to put her in a gymnastics day camp thing this summer so she would have something that was just hers (that little brother didn't also do), but I can't because they have to be potty independent and she just isn't...
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Old 07-24-2011, 12:44 PM   #5
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Re: help! Any advice for an almost 4yo???

That is a bummer about the gymnastics. Sorry my suggestions were no help! The only other thing I can think of is "peer pressure" type of stuff. Telling her people she admires like to stay dry, or that Dora, or Grandma, or Elmo, or her favorite friend "don't like wet pants."
If that hasn't worked, I guess she will really just have to intrinsically care about being clean, dry, and accident-free to make going potty important enough to "stop what she is doing."
Just curious - did she understand she couldn't do gymnastics for potty-training reasons?
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Old 07-24-2011, 02:38 PM   #6
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Re: help! Any advice for an almost 4yo???

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That is a bummer about the gymnastics. Sorry my suggestions were no help! The only other thing I can think of is "peer pressure" type of stuff. Telling her people she admires like to stay dry, or that Dora, or Grandma, or Elmo, or her favorite friend "don't like wet pants."
If that hasn't worked, I guess she will really just have to intrinsically care about being clean, dry, and accident-free to make going potty important enough to "stop what she is doing."
Just curious - did she understand she couldn't do gymnastics for potty-training reasons?
We have also tried the "XYZ person" doesn't like to wet her pants...

Yes she understands about the gymnastics... I just wish it would impact her more
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Old 07-24-2011, 04:21 PM   #7
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Re: help! Any advice for an almost 4yo???

On really bad days for us, I put a timer on DS and he has to go to the bathroom every time it goes off. I usually set it for 30 to 45 minutes.

It is too bad gymnastics didn't work for her because soccer worked for my DS at about that age. He had to sit and watch one practice and we were good and dry until soccer was over for the season.
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Old 07-31-2011, 02:47 PM   #8
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Re: help! Any advice for an almost 4yo???

So we have gone old school and put her on a potty timer (40 minutes is what we settled on). WE have now been about 95% dry. We had 2 perfect days 1 little accident yesterday and one slightly larger, but not complete, accident today...

Overall progress.
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Old 07-31-2011, 03:07 PM   #9
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Re: help! Any advice for an almost 4yo???

What about letting her run around naked, or without bottoms at least?
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Old 07-31-2011, 03:46 PM   #10
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Re: help! Any advice for an almost 4yo???

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What about letting her run around naked, or without bottoms at least?
the thought has crossed my mind... and the one time i let her she peed all over the chair she was sitting in...

I will be taking that approach for our almost 2 yo in the coming weeks, though.
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