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Old 07-31-2011, 04:53 PM   #1
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Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I'm reading through the "why do SAHM think they work harder" thread (no, I won't reply and bump it ) and it seems like almost all working moms hate that they have to work and would love to be a SAHM. Having no kids yet, I obviously am far removed from that debate. However, I grew up with a mom who worked and loved it. She adored her career and always preferred it to staying home. My grandma was the same way, which was unusual for her time. I clearly can't predict how I'll be when I become a mom, but for many reasons it's unlikely that I'd ever be a long-term SAHM (obviously short of unforeseen circumstances, at this point who knows if I'll be a forever SAHM or WOHM from the beginning). I must admit, I've loved working my entire life and have a mom who loved having a career, so the thought of ever being utterly miserable and hating my life doesn't sound appealing.

What is it? Do most WOHMs truly hate working? Is it more that they feel like it's socially unacceptable to say "I work by choice and love it"?

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Old 07-31-2011, 05:04 PM   #2
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I love my job and love working, but I would definitely like to spend more time with my son. I don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM because I think I'd go a little nuts.
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Old 07-31-2011, 05:28 PM   #3
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I think it depends on the job and also the person. When DS 1 one little I hated my job but had to work because I was a single mom. Now I love my job and normally look forward to going to work. When we first moved her and my SO was working I was staying at home with the children. I loved being able to see them all the time but I don't think I could do it forever. I would miss being a chef.
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Old 07-31-2011, 05:37 PM   #4
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I like being a part time WOHM. I actually liked being a full time WOHM, but it's less stressful now. This way when DH is home we can have lots of family time instead of running errands and going to the grocery store. I don't have to work, but I do like spending time with adults not talking about kids. I also like getting to use my education and thinking about things besides dinner and coupons. It gives me a lot of self esteem and something to talk about with my husband. In my head being a full time SAHM sounds great, but in reality I'm a better mom be getting a break from my kids. Aldo since my son is shy school has been really good for him too.
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Old 07-31-2011, 05:48 PM   #5
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I have been on ALL points on the spectrum of full time SAHM and full time WOHM. When my oldest was little, I liked being a WOHM. I didn't necessarily always LOVE my job, but I really never thought I would really want to be a SAHM. I tended to waste time when I had too much of it, working sucked up time and required me to be a good time manager. I was more productive because I had to be to get it all done.
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Old 07-31-2011, 05:53 PM   #6
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

It's just now that DD is getting to be a bigger girl (17 mos) that I don't want to go to work. Part of that is that we found a WONDERFUL sitter who we both felt completely comfortable leaving DD with...in fact, she was probably better at dealing with an infant than we were. Now...well, DD would benefit from more socialization, more structure...and somebody who says "No" occasionally . And DP has returned to school, so DD sees a lot less of her. I don't love my job, and I feel guilty that DD sees so little of us. Realistically, though, I know how much women lose professionally when they take childrearing leave...I know that if I took a year or two off, I lose significantly more than that professionally...I'd guess somewhere around five years, rather than the actual 1-2. I'm not really willing to give that up. Ideally, a decent paying PT gig would be what I'm looking for. It might actually be do-able when DP finishes school, so here's hoping...

DP has been clear since before the baby was born that she wasn't cut out for staying home. She loves her job, she's good at it, and the time away from DD makes her a better mom.
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Old 07-31-2011, 06:07 PM   #7
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I enjoy being a WOHM. I work in a school and I'm off from work for 2 months every summer, so I experience both sides every year. I enjoy spending that time at home with my DD, but I feel like I appreciate it more because I WOH most of the year. I don't think I would enjoy being a SAHM all the time the way that I enjoy and appreciate my summers at home.
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Old 07-31-2011, 06:15 PM   #8
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I think the general consensus I've walked away from is that both ways suck equally. If you're a SAHM, society thinks you're a mooch off your DP and your brain slowly turns to mush. If you WOHM, you should be miserable.

I'm due to graduate college in a few years and I'll end up with a career I love...a librarian If finances don't take a turn for the worse, I'll be able to SAH for a short time. However, as I've gotten older, I realize that good jobs are hard to come by and if I land my dream job, will it be worth it to quit and hopefully get another one a year later that is just so-so? Thankfully I realize that it's not a decision I can make until I'm actually a parent (I know many ladies who had no plans to SAH but decided to once they had their baby or plan on SAH but it makes them feel crazy not to work), but reading long debates does make me think about it.

I just like to hope that whichever way it turns out, I can be happy. It seems like everyone in every situation is utterly miserable. I know that's not REALLY true, but I don't think people realize how they come across. Maybe some online SAHM vs. WOHM debates should be printed off and given to girls in high school...talk about birth control
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Old 07-31-2011, 06:22 PM   #9
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I personally think working makes me a better mom. I need to be doing something that makes me feel productive. Working also helps me appreciate and manage my time with her. I love looking forward to coming home to her everyday and our time on weekends. I also believe that she enjoys interacting with other people. But I think everyone is different and makes the best of their situation.
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Old 07-31-2011, 06:22 PM   #10
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I love my job, I have great benefits and pretty decent pay. I'm not sure that I would be a very good SAHM, but then again, I have never had the option. If it were possible for DH to make at least as much as I do with the same benefits, I am not sure I would give up my career to be a SAHM.
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