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Old 01-11-2012, 08:04 PM   #141
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I've never had to work full time since I got married (and trust me, I know how lucky I am), but when my son was about 4 months old, I went back to teaching an on campus course (I teach college English) for the first semester. It was really nice to get out of the house and have some time where I wasn't just Seth's mommy. I also liked getting out and interacting with others who weren't my son and my husband. This semester, I'm teaching an online course and I'm going to miss some things about leaving the house to teach. But the older Seth gets, the more time I want to spend with him. Not only is he more aware of what's going on (he's almost 9 months now), but he's more fun to be around. I'm glad I'm not worried about "missing" anything. I have several friends, however, who do not need to work AT ALL but they chose to go back to work full time. Like many have said, some people just aren't made to be complete stay at home moms, and that's perfectly okay.


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Old 01-14-2012, 06:46 AM   #142
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

This is something I struggle with every day. I had 12 weeks of maternity leave when my baby was born and loved every minute of it. But I had to return to work. Our budget simply won't allow one income. I HATE being gone from her all day. I HATE that I have to work. I go through stages where it just makes me depressed.

I am lucky in the sense that I work very close to daycare so I can go nurse her every day during lunch - which I've done since she started (she's 8 months old now). People ask me if it bugs me to "not get a lunch" but I wouldn't trade that 30 minutes with my baby for anything. I'm also lucky that I have a wonderful daycare. I love her teachers and I know that my baby is loved and nurtured there.

I'm involved in some local mom groups with some very sweet mamas but I get so jealous and sad that so many of them get to spend their days with their children and I can't give the same time to my daughter. I worry that I'm missing so many special moments in her life and that time is going by so quickly and I'll never get this time back. I worry that my daughter misses me and gets sad that her mommy has to leave her every day. After our week long Christmas vacation and she returned to daycare, I sat outside her daycare room crying after I dropped her off.

:sigh: I would give anything to be a SAHM.
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Old 01-14-2012, 09:30 AM   #143
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

It took having my 3rd child to realize that I actually LOVE working out of the home. I only work part-time and my mom watches my kids while I'm at work so that plays a big part in it. But I enjoy getting out for a few hours here and there. I feel accomplished. And I feel so rejuvenated when I get home to my babies.
Mama to DS1 (6/07) and DD (9/08) and DS2 (8/11)

co-sleeping, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, extended rear-facing, cloth diapering, delayed vaccinating, part-time working mama of three sweet peas
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Old 01-15-2012, 09:16 PM   #144
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I have now been on both sides of the SAH/WOH coin. With my first, I went back to work after the standard 12 weeks (actually got a little extra since it was the holidays). I was really miserable leaving her when she was so little and I had a lot of long days right off the bat. Plus, I had my mom and MIL rotate days to take care of DD which proved to be disastrous (that's another story for another time but let's just say I still wonder how husband ever survived his childhood).

After a few weeks of turmoil, I decided to reduce my schedule and found a wonderful daycare close to work so I could see DD at lunch. Once I did that, I felt like a cloud was lifted over my head. Some days were better than others but I felt like I had a good balance for the most part.

Right before # 2 was born, I was laid off and now I am a SAHM by default. I have to say I love that I am able to have this time at home with my kids but I really look forward to finding work again on a part time basis. I remember my DH showed me this glowing email he got at work after pulling through on this tough project (with many trips away from home) and I was jealous - where was my email saying how awesome of a job that I was doing holding down the fort? LOL. I think I just really miss being recognized for something other than being someone's mom.
Mary, wife to the Big Z (11/08/08)
Mom to the little girl Z (9/30/09) and little boy Z (6/24/11)
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Old 01-25-2012, 12:46 PM   #145
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I know I don't! I would love to stay home with my kids but that would put us at $650 under what we would need to survive. Luckily I get to come home on my lunch break and visit my little bugga boo that's 3 months old.
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Old 01-26-2012, 12:30 PM   #146
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Nope I do not like working a ft job outside of my home. Ever since my yds was born I have had zero motivation to make it to work. If I didn't work we wouldn't survive at all plus we wouldn't have insurance. My SO works to but just makes enough to pay the house his truck and car insurance. I handle everything else...if only I could stay home and watch my children grow
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Old 01-26-2012, 01:15 PM   #147
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

Of course Id prefer to stay at home, but, financially, that is not an option for us. Ive accepted that and actually enjoy the fact that my job provides the majority of our income, will finance all of our childrens' college educations, will provide the option for us to eat healthy organic foods, will allow for us to be culturally educated by taking family vacations around the world (if we choose), will provide a financially stable household devoid of anxiety regarding making ends meet, will provide the opportunity for my children to attend better educational institutions if we so choose, will ensure their parents will have the much needed date nights (i.e., financing a sitter) to nurture their marriage, ensure they are medically taken care of etc etc etc.

I think it is a trade off to work, but I reconcile it emotionally by knowing that in making the sacrifice to work, I am also providing amazing opportunities for my children and family that I hope and pray will be well appreciated.
April-Wife to hopeless romantic nuclear submariner DH WOHM to my rambunctious snuggler DS (08/10) who was born SMILING. and DD (2/13) my hero
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Old 01-26-2012, 04:22 PM   #148
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I do! Though I am not FT (currently 32 hours), and probably never will be. I have a career, and an advanced degree, and am happy to use it. I also made some choices and sacrifices to make sure I have a good QOL and family life at home (didn't pursue academia, and am not traveling the world like some of my grad school friends). I will say that knowing my DS is in an enriching (but not over the top) loving preschool is very important, and I was always ok leaving him with DH (who was home with DS for about 6 months after we moved and I started my new job). It will be interesting this time around, since I was a grad student with ODS and thus was very flexible with my time and eased back in slowly. I'll go back at 20-24 hours after 12 weeks, and eventually (sometime after 10-12 months) would like to get back to 28-32 hours (32 hours being FT for benefits purposes). I think leaving an infant is harder, especially with BFing, but we'll look for a nanny share to make sure there is a 1:2 ratio and so we choose the provider. I have no problem with my 3yo being in "school" 8-3 daily but don't want to leave an infant that long. For toddler and beyond, I love the 3/4 days- enough to be productive at work, but getting home at 3:15 means a little down time and play time, time to run quick errands, time to make dinner, etc. Since we will be a 2-income family, DH and I would both love it if he could be 32 hours also! I think 2 PT or nearly FT schedules are by far the best solution, but the reality is that is not always possible.
E Oct 2008 (100% PL'd), Baby M arrived April 10 (100% CD'd)
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Last edited by thinkingahead; 01-26-2012 at 04:24 PM.
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Old 01-27-2012, 09:52 AM   #149
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I proudly work by choice and love it!! We probably could make it work so that I could stay home, but I'm pretty sure I would go crazy. I am a serious extrovert working as a communications professional with an emphasis in social media. If I didn't have work to get my "extrovertedness" out, I'd be pretty sad I think.

I work at a large University, get great benefits, and have a very flexible schedule that allows me to come and go and work at home if need be (I really only do that if there's snow during rush hour!). My son goes to an amazing "school" that I love and trust dearly. They provide him so many opportunities to do art, crafts (yes, even as an infant), sign, music curriculum, and play time with his buddies, most I don't think I could provide nearly as well as they do.

And most importantly to me, he is being socialized beautifully. He has friendships and bonds, is learning about personal boundaries and limits, and is loved by all his teachers.

It's a win/win for us!
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Old 02-02-2012, 09:30 PM   #150
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I LOVE working. LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT. I stayed home full time for a year and was losing my mind. I went back to work part time and feel like myself again.
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