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Old 08-10-2011, 09:43 AM   #51
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

Yes, I do like being a WOHM. I love being financially independent--it makes me squirelly just having to imagine my husband financially supporting me (not that he could, I earn 45% of the household income, and we certainly can't cut our living expenses by almost 50% to get by) . I love the work I do. I love the experiences I've had due to my job. I love that I'm setting a strong example for my daughter.

I'm fortunate that I'm able to work a 4-day a week schedule. It would certainly be much harder to work a typical 5-day work week. I do miss my daughter terribly on Monday, and even more by Thursday. A huge biggest trade-off between working and family is that I don't feel I have the time to invest in another child without huge sacrifices to my daughter and the 2nd child, so my daughter will (most likely, at least) be an only.

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Old 08-10-2011, 01:09 PM   #52
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I'm a professional (attorney) and I enjoy working outside the home. Yes, it was brutally hard being away from my little one when I first returned to work at 4 months, especially when we had problems with the childcare provider. We switched to a nanny until he got into the daycare of our choosing when he was 8 months old. It became much easier on me because I was working very part-time, and I knew he was in great hands with the sitter we had.

I read an article once that said moms who work part-time are the "happiest" compared to SAHM and full-time working moms. I wish I could find it. I really think it's true.

I know if i'd stayed at my old job where I had to work 40-50+ hours a week, I would likely be very unhappy and feel like I never had time with my little one. Thankfully, i switched jobs when I returned to work after having the baby, and am able to work part-time. I have time to feel valued for my brain and be a part of the adult world, and not feel like all the time I spent in school was a waste, but i also get a lot of time with my little guy so I don't feel like I'm missing out on his baby/toddlerhood.
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Old 08-10-2011, 01:33 PM   #53
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I enjoy my job. But I was a SAHM for years until my youngest was in kindergarten. I do hate the pressure of working 5 days a week and still trying to do all the stuff at home that I did being a SAHM. Meanwhile DH feels put out just taking the kids to daycare or putting them on the school bus. sigh

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Old 08-11-2011, 09:52 AM   #54
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

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Originally Posted by MyLovely View Post
I think the general consensus I've walked away from is that both ways suck equally. If you're a SAHM, society thinks you're a mooch off your DP and your brain slowly turns to mush. If you WOHM, you should be miserable.

I'm due to graduate college in a few years and I'll end up with a career I love...a librarian If finances don't take a turn for the worse, I'll be able to SAH for a short time. However, as I've gotten older, I realize that good jobs are hard to come by and if I land my dream job, will it be worth it to quit and hopefully get another one a year later that is just so-so? Thankfully I realize that it's not a decision I can make until I'm actually a parent (I know many ladies who had no plans to SAH but decided to once they had their baby or plan on SAH but it makes them feel crazy not to work), but reading long debates does make me think about it.

I just like to hope that whichever way it turns out, I can be happy. It seems like everyone in every situation is utterly miserable. I know that's not REALLY true, but I don't think people realize how they come across. Maybe some online SAHM vs. WOHM debates should be printed off and given to girls in high school...talk about birth control
I am a elementary school librarian and just had my first child. I love love love my job for a few reasons. I get the summer off I am able to work part time (7:30-12:30) and it gives me a break from being a mommy all the time. I also think I like the fact that because I work DH doesn't expect me to be the sole care giver. I would go nuts if child care and house care would be totally my responsibility. I just couldn't handle that. We both work out of the home and we both care for DS and clean and cook. It is completely equal and there is no resentment.
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Old 08-11-2011, 09:57 AM   #55
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

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Originally Posted by ho11yb View Post
I'm a professional (attorney) and I enjoy working outside the home. Yes, it was brutally hard being away from my little one when I first returned to work at 4 months, especially when we had problems with the childcare provider. We switched to a nanny until he got into the daycare of our choosing when he was 8 months old. It became much easier on me because I was working very part-time, and I knew he was in great hands with the sitter we had.

I read an article once that said moms who work part-time are the "happiest" compared to SAHM and full-time working moms. I wish I could find it. I really think it's true.

I know if i'd stayed at my old job where I had to work 40-50+ hours a week, I would likely be very unhappy and feel like I never had time with my little one. Thankfully, i switched jobs when I returned to work after having the baby, and am able to work part-time. I have time to feel valued for my brain and be a part of the adult world, and not feel like all the time I spent in school was a waste, but i also get a lot of time with my little guy so I don't feel like I'm missing out on his baby/toddlerhood.
OMG YES! That is pretty much what I just wrote. I feel like working p/t I have the best of both worlds.
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Old 08-11-2011, 10:03 AM   #56
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

There are pros and cons to both and one needs to determine what best defines them or what is important to their family survival and overall happiness.

I have done both. I prefer to be a WAHM, but it too comes with its own set of prices, but it is the role that is right for me and my family needs. It is my belief in my situation that my second crop of children even through tragic loss of their father is a stronger more secure set of children than my first when I worked out of home. That does not mean that other people don't do great at both, but for me being at home all the time, in school when they are in school and having the summers off to just "be" and dedicate time to worthy causes and set examples has a great value in my home. But I can't tell you the last time I bought new stuff without robbing peter to pay paul.

What works for one is not the fit for another. But no, I did not "LIKE" it.
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Old 08-11-2011, 10:15 AM   #57
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Originally Posted by bluekittycat

I also think I like the fact that because I work DH doesn't expect me to be the sole care giver. I would go nuts if child care and house care would be totally my responsibility. I just couldn't handle that. We both work out of the home and we both care for DS and clean and cook. It is completely equal and there is no resentment.
Well said. I was thinking the same thing and couldn't figure out how to say it without making either myself or DH sound bad. I had a lot of building resentments towards the end of my time as a SAHM, and going back to work part-time was a good solution for me.

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Old 08-11-2011, 10:42 AM   #58
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

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Well said. I was thinking the same thing and couldn't figure out how to say it without making either myself or DH sound bad. I had a lot of building resentments towards the end of my time as a SAHM, and going back to work part-time was a good solution for me.

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Thanks as I was writing it I didn't know what I was going to say but after I was done I thought Yep that is the real reason for why I like WOHM. I hadn't even realized it up until that point.
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Old 08-11-2011, 11:39 AM   #59
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I think the 2 things for me that make me not enjoy WOHM are:
1) I have to work so we have insurance. It's never been a choice for me to work or not work since the field my hubby is in pays roughly the same, but has no option for insurance.
2) I always feel like working gets the "best of me" and my family gets "what's left of me" in the evenings. By the time we get home (~5pm) and get dinner and baths done...the evening is gone. I'm short tempered with the kids... and I feel like I'm doing them a disservice sometimes by working because they get my "grumpy leftovers" instead of "nice happy, calm mom". The house is a wreck because I never have the energy during the week to keep up on laundry and dishes...we muddle through, but it's a disaster.

Other than that, I enjoy my job. I have a great team of nurses I work with and my shifts are flexible - all day shifts, but I'm salary and work what works for everyone involved. Most days I do 8-4ish... but other days I'll do 6-2 (not very often). I am able to flex my time and if the kids need a doctor's appt or are sick, I can easily take a day off or hours off and flex my time without having to make sure someone else is "covering my shift"... my work will wait till the next day. So, there are so many benefits to the position I have that I think I have it pretty good... and it makes me not want to complain, but yeah, there are times I wish I didn't have to be a WOHM. I think doing part time would be awesome... not an option where I'm at now though.
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Old 08-11-2011, 11:27 PM   #60
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I really wish we had good maternity leave here. I feel like a year off (or two!) with the guarantee of getting your job back would make mothering so much easier...you could get through your child's infancy at home without worrying about losing a job you love.
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