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Old 08-12-2011, 05:17 PM   #61
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I love my career and work. I love my kids, but I would not (and have not when I tried) enjoy being a long-term SAHM. It was nice to have almost a year off after my younger son was born but when I returned to work I was very, very happy to do so. My husband and I have arranged our lives so neither one of us is gone LONG hours and in fact my husband works part time and I have a very flexible schedule. I would not choose (unless I had no alternative) to work long hours day in and day out with a long commute so I feel fortunate to have the arrangement that we do.

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Old 08-13-2011, 10:33 PM   #62
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I work by choice, but I'm spoiled in that I take my LOs with me until they start kindergarten. I run a preschool and childcare center, so my babies grow up for their first year in my office right next to me, and then they slowly transition into spending more time in a classroom until I'm ready to let go and have them there all day. They are still just a few steps away from me, so it's not like I'm accross town or anything.

I love what I do, and it helps me to feel productive and like I'm making a difference for other children who can't be with their mom all day. I started my program a little over 4 years ago and it has grown by leaps and bounds, so I must be doing something right I've tried staying home (after my 3rd child) but felt like I really ought to be contributing more to the family income, so I started doing home daycare. Now I'm doing the same kind of thing, just out of my home and with MANY more kids!
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Old 08-15-2011, 02:16 PM   #63
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I realized last week when I was home sick with mastitis (so I kept my little girl with me to help me get better ) that I wouldn't be happy as a SAHM. When I'm home alone with her I feel like I couldn't get anything done - I don't have any 'adult time' to take care of stuff that needs to be taken care of. I wind up being cranky and irritated that I'm 'doing everything' without a break.

I just wouldn't make a good SAHM due to my personality, I think.
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Old 08-15-2011, 08:33 PM   #64
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

For me it partly depends on the ages of the kids. I was miserable working out of the house when they were babies. If I work 8 to 5, and the baby is awake 7 to 7, I basically get no waking time with him. Also, it took me awhile to find my stride, so to speak, as a mom -- I was so unsure of myself at first, and it didn't help that I felt like I spent so little time with him that I wasn't the "expert" on him.

A more confident mom, and/or a better schedule, would make a big difference in that first couple years.

Now that they are bigger, I am much happier working. They are old enough to have conversations, which helps in so many ways.

There are a couple BIG positives about working, for me. One is the positive feedback. It's hard to get that from babies, especially if they are colicky. And my husband, despite his many good qualities, is absolutely not forthcoming with the positive feedback. So it's awesome to go to work and be appreciated (if you're lucky enough to have such a job!).

The biggest positive about daycare when they were babies/toddlers: someone else put them down for naps! I am a disaster at putting kids down for naps. I have such a low success rate, and it gets me so wound up & frustrated. I love it when it's someone else's problem. I know that may sound terrible to some, but it's reality: I am not 100% perfectly fabulous at all aspects of parenting.

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That's the best way to approach it. It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got.
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Old 08-15-2011, 11:11 PM   #65
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I was pretty awesome being a WAHM (little online business) when it was just me and my DD. I was a single mom then, too.
Now I have twins and my 4 year old DD, and I feel like I'd be the worst SAHM ever
I work outside the home, 10 hour days 4 days a week, then I get 3 days off. On my days off I feel bad because I get so irritated by the end of the day that I don't want to do much... My ol man is my hero, I truly mean that! I don't know how I would do it without him. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids and LOVE spending time with them. I just don't know if I could do it 24/7 now, like I used to.
going from just my DD and me, to twin boys plus DD was a big enough adjustment to make me re-think my plan of being a SAH parent....
I like having my free time (which isn't really FREE time since i'm going to work outside the home but it FEELS like free time).
Maybe it's just my attitude has changed about being "cooped up" inside the home too long. I like to get out and do things now, far more now than I used to. I was a home-body back when it was just DD and me. Not sure why the 180 has flipped me around
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Old 08-17-2011, 08:54 AM   #66
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

Part time is what I do, with long maternity leaves. I took ten months off with my first, and am realisitically planning to do the same with my next due in Dec. (Maybe longer...) But you have to plan your career in advance for that - I did. It means finding a good job that is well-paying at a family-friendly company/institution, and building up a history with them so that when you propose working part-time or flex hours, they value you enough to go for it!

If you lay the foundations now, you will have lots of options in the future...and when you have kids and a family life to juggle, flexibility is key.

I actually thought I would never want to go back to work, but after staying athoe for the months I was ready to have a little bit of my old self/life back. And the extra money was nice, too!

Set up your life finincially so that one income covers the basics, plan on honestly keeping an open mind about the changes you will go through mentally and emotionally when you have that first little one, (it will be a shock) and then take life one day at a time. If you want to work, work! And if you don't, you're not forced to.

That's my two cents.
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Old 08-17-2011, 12:52 PM   #67
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

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I love my job and love working, but I would definitely like to spend more time with my son. I don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM because I think I'd go a little nuts.
this is me. In the perfect world, I'd work part time (at FT income) and make my own schedule. I love my girls to death but enjoy the adult time, being productive, making money and the peace and quiet of my own office. Nothing beats the cheers, hugs and smiles when I come home from work. I hate missing out of playgroups, special events and more because of work. Though I'm very, very lucky to have a job that allow me certain flexibility.
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Old 08-18-2011, 01:11 PM   #68
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I'm a part-time WOHM/WAHM. I work around DH's schedule and we don't use child care. It stinks because it requires us to sacrifice family time together. I like working for a number of reasons but at this point in my life, I'd be happier if I didn't have to worry about working.
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Old 08-29-2011, 11:50 AM   #69
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

Sometimes, I think about how I'd "love" to be a SAHM. I picture fun-filled days of parks, playdates, and toddler classes. The house is clean, dinner is prompt and healthy, and I have time to get to the gym or do some scrapbooking.

In reality, though, I am by nature a very lazy person. I know, from the summers I have off (I'm a teacher), that life would not be like that for long. When I work, both my son and I enjoy more stimulation than we would have if we were at home together all day, every day.

There are other benefits to me working...like money. My salary is needed for some bills, but the rest is extra. We could probably manage on one income if we canceled the internet, satellite, and lower the cell phone plans, but things would be very tight. I used to think that none of that mattered, so long as I could stay home. But a few months ago, my son had to get a cranial band helmet. Insurance wouldn't cover it, but that wasn't a problem. Being able to provide what my son needed without the sleepless nights wondering where the money would come from made me much more confident in my decision to work.

And then there is one final benefit...when I work, my relationship with my husband improves. Things are equal. We both work, take care of our son, clean the house, run errands, etc. When I am home over the summer, we slowly and unofficialy switch to "his" work and "her" work. Both of us feel like we got the short end of the stick, yet we somehow always end up in that rut. By the end of summer, we are both ready for me to go back.

So, while there are tough days, and even though I wish my daycare provider was more like me, I choose to work. I think it's best for all of us.
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Old 08-30-2011, 06:00 PM   #70
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

My job is part of my soul. I miss my son all day, but I missed my job when I was on maternity leave. I try to maintain a balance.
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