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Old 09-03-2011, 08:11 AM   #81
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I love being a nurse and I loved my job, but working 50-60 hours a week (salaried, mostly desk job) was not working for our family. We were both working a ton, and my husband would have to decline evening client meetings / didn't have the flexibility he needed to travel. I was burned out and resenting the fact that I had so little time to spend with DD because when I got home I still had to make dinner, do the laundry, dishes, and get us packed up for the next day.

Working one day a week is a good compromise for now. I'm planning on going back to work full-time at some point, but I'm waiting until this next baby is a little older so that we don't have to do daycare for him/her. My dd was sick a LOT the first year due to daycare, and that was another significant source of stress.

I don't know if I could stay at home full-time. I do look forward to going to work once a week because it helps me keep my skills up and gives me some opportunities for adult interaction.

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Old 09-03-2011, 08:21 AM   #82
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I also agree with all the previous posters that it really depends on your personality whether you'd be happy staying home or not. Of the four days I'm home with dd, we have a playdate or get-together with another mom and toddler at least ones, sometimes two of those days. The other days are reserved for errands. I usually keep us home one day a week so that I can get stuff done. Yesterday, we were at the grocery store by 8:30 am and I had the entire refrigerator and pantry cleaned and reorganized by lunchtime (with a few breaks to join dd's teaparties and play babies with her). So, if you know that you'll just sit around if you're home, then it's not good. But, if you are good about scheduling playdates and activities, and use the kids' naptime to clean the house, work on hobbies, etc. then you will not be bored. I hurt my foot about a month and a half ago and was laid up for a few days. I nearly went crazy!
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Old 09-03-2011, 08:30 AM   #83
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I have to agree with Lisa.

I love being a nurse I didn't go to college and get my BSN thinking later down the road I would be a SAHM. That would be waste.

I love being a nurse it's something I've always wanted to, I couldn't imagine not being one. I've always wanted to be a Mom too.

However, I am not the nurse that works 3 days then off the rest. DH's job makes it so he works out of town and I would more than likely have to work night shifts at a hospital and that just doesn't work with kids. So right now I work 5 days a week but *normal* hours. We need to pay off a lot of debt and save up money too. So for now I have to work this much and I hate it so if i had my way I would love to work part time maybe 3 (which I had before but different hours and weekends and holidays)or 4 days a week and have the rest off.

By the time I can do that they will both be in school-sigh.

But that's what I would like I couldn't be a SAHM either but I don't like working full time, I'd rather do part time, that would be ideal.
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Old 09-04-2011, 06:53 PM   #84
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I love my job! There are some days when yes, I'd rather stay home, but I don't think I could do it every single day. I teach, though, so I do get 12 weeks in the summer to be home with my LO. Best of both worlds!
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Old 09-05-2011, 08:29 AM   #85
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I love my job and know I'm a better mommy to my girls because I'm not with them all day.
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Old 09-13-2011, 06:34 AM   #86
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I am lurking from boredom. I was a WOHM, ended up being a SAHM when DS was still an infant due to circumstances beyond my control and am planning on going back to school next fall to get my degree to WOH again. I love my son and I love that I am getting to be a part of so much of his life while he is little. However, I am not really happy. I feel like I have no identity of my own. The newbie will be in pre-k by the time I am ready to work. I don't know if I will work PT or FT. Honestly, probably FT. We also don't want to have to live on such a tight budget forever. But with DH's job, he will only be working 10 days a month that they are in school and 5 of those he will have gotten off nights the night before and will be awake by the time school is out. I plan on working it to where I am home before he goes to work and have us work alternating weekends if I work them at all. So there will be 5 days a month they will need to have a sitter and only for a few hours each day. But I feel like I need this. I honestly have no idea who I am aside from wife and mom anymore. I feel like each has its challenges, fulfillment and each has its place with different families.
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Old 09-14-2011, 02:22 PM   #87
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I'm a WOHM, and I like my job. I prefer working to staying home with babies/toddlers. In the past, there have been times that I've been uncomfortable admitting that I'd rather work than stay home, because I actually believe mom's should stay home.

The feeling that WOHMs get from other moms it that its understandable if they HAVE to work, but a good mommy would never choose it. In the mommy heierarchy, WOHMS who hate it are better than WOHMs that like it, and the pinacle of motherhood are SAHMs.
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Old 09-14-2011, 04:15 PM   #88
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I love my job and after a long weekend home with the family, sometimes it feels like a "vacation" to come to work. my kids are still very young (almost 4, and 16 months) so it can be a bit trying. DS is quite a handful lately, and has instilled in me the "don't want any more kids" feeling

I do occasionally wish I was a SAHM.. like today, for DD's 2nd day of preschool. DH had the day off on Monday and I was able to take part of the afternoon off, so we were able to go together to drop her off and pick her up from preschool, which was awesome. But from now on, unless there's some specific reason for me to miss work for it, it will be my parents dropping her off and picking her up (or my DH on his own, when it is his day off)... and I'm really kind of sad about that I called her today on my parents' cell after they picked her up and talked to her, but for the majority of the time I'm going to have to wait 2 hours after she gets out of preschool before I can get home and ask her how it went... and knowing her memory, I won't get much of an answer

Anyways.. long story short. I do like being a WOHM because I love my job, I like the paycheck (and hoping to get a promotion ), and the extra benefits (DH and I both have benefits thru our jobs so it helps cover what the other one doesn't). We schedule most of the kids extra-curriculars for Sundays when both DH and I are off work so that we are able to attend.

Getting out of the house and working definitely helps make me a better mom... I have issues with patience (who doesn't right?) and I don't think I could handle being with my kids 24/7.


I was a "SAHM" for 8 months after my DS was born, while I was on mat leave. Technically we get 1 whole year of mat leave here in Canada.. but I had been working temp prior to my leave, and had an opportunity to take a salaried position at the company I was working for.. but it meant going back to work 4 months earlier than originally planned. I think I thought about it for a day... if that. I did enjoy my time being home with my kids, and because my BFF was also on mat leave, we got out and did things, took the kids out for 'playdates' and 'fieldtrips' to the museum, etc.

I think, if the opportunity came up, I wouldn't mind being a SAHM to school-aged children. Get them off to school, have the house to myself for the morning, have them come home for lunch, and then out again for the afternoon. THAT I could get behind... it's this baby/toddlerhood that drives me batty I actually love the idea of being able to BE that parent who is home at lunch hour for the kids to be able to come home to instead of staying for lunch, or volunteer to be the 'reading helper' mom in school. I do have fond memories of my own mom doing that kind of stuff (she happened to be forced into being a SAHM when I was about 6 due to an illness that resulted in long-term disability)

eta - Also, because of DH's schedule, he sometimes gets Saturdays off, and sometimes has to work Saturdays. On weekends where he works Sat, I feel like I get the "SAHM" time... doing things with just me and the kiddos, and I like it. If it's nice, we go to the park, or shopping, etc. On days where he's home, we're running around doing the whole-family stuff, or doing the kids' extra-curriculars... or just vegging.

... and another perk of the paycheck.. we own a house! We could never have been able to do that if I had been a SAHM!
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Old 09-17-2011, 09:10 PM   #89
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

Well right now I work as a waitress. I like it for the most part. My family owns it, I've worked there since I was 16. Its cool. I only work 2-3days a week. The other days I am in school - my last year getting my teaching degree.
Do I plan on using it? Its a toss up. I love staying home. I work to bring it extra money and I do like getting out, but 9 times out of 10 I would pick not to. If Andrew gets a job that pays enough for me not to, we both want me to stay home because we want to homeschool our kids. Otherwise, I plan on subbing. If we don't homeschool, I will teach - in the same district as my kids.

Anyway.. I know women who love their jobs and love being a mom and wouldn't have it any other way. So yes, it is totally possible to be happy working out of the home and having kids. Some women, like my mom, aren't cut out to be a SAHM. She even said she would've never wanted to do that. But my grandma was a SAHM until my mom and her sisters were in high school; she started working to buy them cars, pay for college, and pay for their weddings lol. Once those were paid, she stopped working and hasn't worked since!

Just depends on the person. But, I do feel bad when moms tell me how much they desperately wish they could stay home but there is absolutely no way.
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Old 09-17-2011, 09:34 PM   #90
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I WOH part-time. I have done the SAHM and the full-time WOHM gig. I think what I do now really suits me well. Looking back on my SAHM days, I realize how much of a funk I was in. I know my personality and if I don't have to leave the house, I won't. That led me into a real depression for a good part of my SAH years.

I know that I am not cut out to be a full-time working mom now that I have another little one. I work part time (11 hours split between 2 days, and then 16 hours split into 2 eight hour evening shifts). So DS is only in daycare those 11 hours and home with DH the other times i work. This is the ideal situation for us and I am very happy with it.

I would like to stay home and homeschool all my kids but where we live right now, this is not an option. Plus we are very rural so there is very little "getting out" we could do that wouldn't involve an hour drive each way.
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