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Old 08-04-2011, 09:32 PM   #1
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Would you take two kids but leave one?

So I am going to a reunion for the camp I went to all through childhood and then was a counselor at as a teen. My sister met her husband there. Anyway I feel really bad because I am thinking of taking my oldest and youngest and leaving the middle one with his dad. Is that totally wrong? He is so unpredictable and hard to handle at times. Sweet kid but has no control over his emotions. He has major sensory issues, gets anxiety in new situations, doesn't particulary like people, is a very picky eater but it hungry ALL THE TIME, I think he has OCD, and maybe is on the spectrum. Is behavior has come a long way and he truly tries but I just really don't want to go there and be embarrassed because my kid is throwing an hour long fit because the velcro on his shoes are not in the EXACT same placement.
My other two kids can be a pain but in a average kid kind of way. I just don't want him to feel left behind.
I want to make it like a special thing for him to have his dad to himself except for he doesn't really like his dad!
What would you do?

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Old 08-05-2011, 03:32 AM   #2
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Re: Would you take two kids but leave one?

If he doesn't really like his dad, then I would either take them all or leave them all.
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Old 08-05-2011, 04:36 AM   #3
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Re: Would you take two kids but leave one?

Does he want to go? If he wants to go I would take them all and maybe take another adult with you- babysitter, friend, grandparent,dad- whoever so you can deal with him and the other adult can help with the other 2. If he doesn't want to go (or one of the others doesn't want to go then there isn't problem. I'd ask- if he doesn't like people he might not even want to go.
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Old 08-05-2011, 07:49 AM   #4
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I am not planning to ask or tell any of the kids right now. I don't want to ask and then make a different decision. His dad says he will do something special with him but who knows. Roan is all about me,
he is in this place where he can only love one person, his mom. He is used to being with his dad 2-3 days a week so that won't matter, he has never gone without then other two so it may be good for him. I don't know, I feel like I'd be ditching him but I don't want the whole weekend to revolve around him. I had actually planned to only bring the youngest but because there will be people from other countries there, the homeschool mom side of me wants my oldest to be there.
We are going on two camping trips next month that they will all come to.
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Old 08-05-2011, 07:56 AM   #5
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Re: Would you take two kids but leave one?

your kid sounds like my kid I spent 10 mins in kroger picking a furball out of his velcro shoes and calming him down because it wasn't "right" and was working him up. We're dealing with haircuts now :/

I would leave him I think we underestimate our DHes sometimes. I thought DS would NEVER let me leave him w/ DH but they do man stuff and have a blast. You never know until you try. If DH gets overwhelmed you could call it a short stay and come home?
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Old 08-05-2011, 08:02 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by Kriket
your kid sounds like my kid I spent 10 mins in kroger picking a furball out of his velcro shoes and calming him down because it wasn't "right" and was working him up. We're dealing with haircuts now :/

I would leave him I think we underestimate our DHes sometimes. I thought DS would NEVER let me leave him w/ DH but they do man stuff and have a blast. You never know until you try. If DH gets overwhelmed you could call it a short stay and come home?
Yeah I'm not worried about him not surviving his dad, we are divorced and he takes the kids on the weekends. Its only two days. It's the being ditched while his siblings are doing something fun. I guess it is what it is. When his behavior his better then he won't be left. I guess its just mommy guilt.
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Old 08-05-2011, 08:25 AM   #7
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Re: Would you take two kids but leave one?

I try to give all our kids an opportunity to be the 'only' some times--in a family of four kids, that's a treat! I'd leave him, and I'd consider it an opportunity for Dad to spend some great quality time with your son. Think of the fun stuff they can do, just the two of them!
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Old 08-05-2011, 08:33 AM   #8
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Re: Would you take two kids but leave one?

IMO-Hi, what about leaving him with a person he LOVES to be with? Then he will actually see this as something special for him.... And you will feel relief/content rather than guilt if he does stay home...
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Old 08-05-2011, 08:40 AM   #9
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Re: Would you take two kids but leave one?

If its just going to be a super stressful situation for him at the reunion I don't think it would be fair to him to put him through that. I think he will be more relaxed and comfortable at dads then with a large group of new people. Maybe you don't even need to tell him where you are going just make it about him spending time alone with his dad.
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Old 08-05-2011, 01:03 PM   #10
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Re: Would you take two kids but leave one?

I think it's okay as long as it's not the same child being left out, again and again. Plus having some one-on-one time can be really good.

My kiddos are younger than yours so don't quite get the "I'm missing out." Just a few weekends ago, I took my oldest daughter to my BFF's cottage. The younger one is still a lot of work and doesn't like to get in the water. Well, really she doesn't like to wear a life jacket. In order for it to be fun for my oldest, I just took her. It was a great mommy weekend for her, and my youngest had a good time hanging with DH. They both were able to have undivided attention.

I think it can be okay, but instead of being left out maybe make it an opportunity to spend some quality time with his dad.
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