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Old 08-08-2011, 12:24 PM   #11
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Re: Short of spanking my kid...

sounds entirely normal... i get entirely frustrated at times, but when it comes down to it, even if he "knows" humans don't get impulse control under control until what... adult hood? no but really, impulse control happens around 5-7, so expecting him to always be able to do what you want is a bit out of bounds most likely.

however, you can set guidelines and do what you need to to keep both kids safe and happy. overall, keep the 2 year old BUSY and things will likely go much smoothly

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Old 08-08-2011, 02:14 PM   #12
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Re: Headbanging...

My dd doesnt do this but my pedi told me if she did to just ignore it. That they wont seriously hurt themselves. But I have no clue if that is good advice. Good luck!
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Old 08-08-2011, 02:29 PM   #13
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Re: Short of spanking my kid...

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Originally Posted by keysersoze View Post
Our youngest is 5 months old and our 2.5 yo is constantly in his face (but then again, so is our 5 yo). We just remind them, gently, over and over and over and over that DS2 is a person, not a toy, and that he can't see them well if they are right up in his face. Chances are, your son is just excited by his baby brother and forgets to put some space between them.

Two year olds are beginning to test limits and explore independence. As a parent, it can absolutely be frustrating, but it's entirely developmentally appropriate and important for the LOs. For ours, we use LOTS of redirection at that age; we don't use time-outs, though, at any age. You might keep some special toys aside just for nursing, when he can't have your full attention. Or make nursing time snack time. Or read a book together while you're nursing if you can. Or sit near him while you're nursing while he explores a sensory box ( Counting Coconuts has some great ideas, as do Modern Parents, Messy Kids and 1+1+1=1 )

At two, he's probably not intentionally pushing your buttons. He's just trying to get a need met, and attention is absolutely a need at that age. When you feel you are at your breaking point, tell him that mommy needs a time-out, and make sure he's safe, and remove yourself from the situation for a minute or two until you can gain some perspective. If your breaking point happens at the same time pretty much every day, change things up. For me, my hardest point of the day is when I'm trying to get dinner ready and everybody is underfoot. I try to make sure to pull out some fun activity just before that I know will engage them for at least a few minutes so that I can gather a few more resources before they need my attention again.

parenting is hard, especially when you're adjusting to a new baby. Try to be patient with him -- this is a HUGE change for him -- and yourself. If you need extra help at a certain point of the day, get it; if your DH isn't available, hire a mommy's helper for a few hours a few times a week, if you can.
AWESOME post!
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Old 08-08-2011, 05:00 PM   #14
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Re: Short of spanking my kid...

Great advice.

I too am going through this with my 3 year old (bday was last month) and we use the "go to your room" technique. Today was especially draining because DS would not stop running all over the place at a doctor's office and while we were at the DMV. Because of the excessive heat that we have been experiencing we do not get to venture outside to the playground daily anymore so I know he has tons of energy to burn.

I truly do not want to have to spank DS so when talking to him about his behaviour fails we put him in timeout in his room. He hates being alone in there as a punishment. Once he gets himself together DH or I explain to him why he was punished and remind him that he needs to follow our instruction when it is given.

We too are looking into a 2 day pre-school program but he still has potty accidents from time to time so it has been hard finding a program that will take him. Sigh.
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Old 08-08-2011, 06:15 PM   #15
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Re: Short of spanking my kid...

I could have written your post. I am BEYOND done with my non napping 2yo dd who is hitting, biting, being a typical 2 yo. By the end of the day, I want to pull my hair out. I enjoy my 8yo and almost 5yo but she hits them and then laughs. Time outs are not working at all with her; she just laughs and runs off. I can't put her in a pak and play as she climbs out in under 5 seconds. I know I went through this with all of the others, but she is my worst by far. I am homeschooling my oldest, but DH said maybe I need to find a pre-school/daycare for her. I am at my wit's end with her actually. I am stalking for suggestions.
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Old 08-08-2011, 08:45 PM   #16
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Re: Short of spanking my kid...

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Great advice.

I too am going through this with my 3 year old (bday was last month) and we use the "go to your room" technique. Today was especially draining because DS would not stop running all over the place at a doctor's office and while we were at the DMV. Because of the excessive heat that we have been experiencing we do not get to venture outside to the playground daily anymore so I know he has tons of energy to burn.

I truly do not want to have to spank DS so when talking to him about his behaviour fails we put him in timeout in his room. He hates being alone in there as a punishment. Once he gets himself together DH or I explain to him why he was punished and remind him that he needs to follow our instruction when it is given.

We too are looking into a 2 day pre-school program but he still has potty accidents from time to time so it has been hard finding a program that will take him. Sigh.
Look at the co-ops. Ours had no problem with not being potty trained and had a little potty for those that do but its only a 2 1/2 hour program so if its not poop/full diaper they wait for pick up (which is fine). Also, if you are near a military base, you can use their drop-in program not working (here you have to work 25 hours a week to use the regular). I never ended up doing the drop in as its about 45 minutes away closer to my husband's job but still 15 minutes each way - he was willing but it didn't make sense to add that much commute right now. Some co-ops are flexible, some not.

I know some people hate strollers but if we are at an appointment he gets strapped in and given a toy or iPad or snack. I let him walk to the office/run before we go in some to burn off a little energy. They make some nice reasonably priced umbrella strollers - I went looking again as mine's a bit heavy and the Uppa one that is the cheapest in their line is really nice and great for toddlers (higher back as I was shocked that my son's head was hitting the top of many). Its about $120. I'm waiting for the new model to come out this fall as you can't get a good deal so I want the latest and greatest.
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Old 08-08-2011, 08:48 PM   #17
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Re: Short of spanking my kid...

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Originally Posted by Vivhop98 View Post
I could have written your post. I am BEYOND done with my non napping 2yo dd who is hitting, biting, being a typical 2 yo. By the end of the day, I want to pull my hair out. I enjoy my 8yo and almost 5yo but she hits them and then laughs. Time outs are not working at all with her; she just laughs and runs off. I can't put her in a pak and play as she climbs out in under 5 seconds. I know I went through this with all of the others, but she is my worst by far. I am homeschooling my oldest, but DH said maybe I need to find a pre-school/daycare for her. I am at my wit's end with her actually. I am stalking for suggestions.
Daddy dump. Everyone needs a break no matter how easy or well behaved your child is most days. He gets home and takes the kids for a walk/park/or just to play and you get a nap/go do something quickly, etc. every few nights. Preschool can be a nice break for everyone. (though I am not looking forward to giving up "my" time with my son and in denial he's getting older but its about him and the socialization and other things are important).
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Old 08-09-2011, 05:37 PM   #18
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Re: Short of spanking my kid...

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Daddy dump. Everyone needs a break no matter how easy or well behaved your child is most days. He gets home and takes the kids for a walk/park/or just to play and you get a nap/go do something quickly, etc. every few nights. Preschool can be a nice break for everyone. (though I am not looking forward to giving up "my" time with my son and in denial he's getting older but its about him and the socialization and other things are important).
I did the daddy dump tonight. Most of the preschools that I would be interested in start at 3. I may do one with her next year. DH said he would pay for daycare a few days a week. I am honestly considering it.
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Old 08-09-2011, 06:10 PM   #19
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Re: Short of spanking my kid...

For the head banging I would remove all of the furniture except for a mattress and put a helmet on him. Honestly he can really hurt himself but he also knows that by doing that you are going to pay attention to him. I cause myself pain but in the end I get my way so of course I'm going to keep doing this. He's not trying to cause you distress, but he is getting your attention by any means possible because to him developmentally the world does indeed revolve around him.

http://www.mamashealth.com/child/headbang.asp
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Old 08-09-2011, 08:32 PM   #20
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Re: Short of spanking my kid...

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I did the daddy dump tonight. Most of the preschools that I would be interested in start at 3. I may do one with her next year. DH said he would pay for daycare a few days a week. I am honestly considering it.
You can do one preschool this year and switch next year. I would just for the break (I didn't do it for the break and am having huge separation issues and he hasn't started yet) and time to get a few things done. Ours is only 2 1/2 hours so its basically enough time to drop off/pick up but I think it good for socialization, routine and some structure since I am no structure. Ours is about $160 a month but its a co-op so you have to volunteer in the classroom (keeps costs down) or buy out.

Daddy dump
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