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Old 08-24-2011, 06:18 AM   #11
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Re: Desperately need help with potty training DD.

I think some kids do just have major control issues. My DD1 does, and especially did with potty issues. She would wet herself until the age of 5, anywhere. She was fully trained in the day (still had night issues until 6). She would do the potty dance, and if we asked her if she needed to go she would refuse and eventually wet herself. We tried reward systems, making her clean it up, etc. NOTHING worked. Eventually we just said, okay, it's her, it's not us. We stoped taking any of the responsibility of it by the age of 5, we wouldn't send a change of clothes to school because daily she would urinate in them, and just go change. So, with her teacher we decided that if she chose to not take the bathroom break with all the other kids, that she would have to "figure it out". This involved her going to the lost and found to find clothes, she's wear them, wash them and return them. Soon after that she stopped doing it at school - half the battle was won. She eventually grew tired of handwashing her clothes daily, and starting using the potty.

I really REALLY believe it was a control issues, she has MANY control issues. Some kids do, I find the best thing is to make them responsible for what they decide they are controlling. The control didn't dissappear though, she now controls food (which isn't good either) but is responsible to pay for the food she wastes with her allowance money (a percent per meal she throws out).

I don't know if that helps, but I definetly found that rendering all control her her, and realizing that she wants the power of that SO badly, she can have it and all that comes with it.


Student Midwife and crunchy mama DD's to Autumn & Alys Expecting surprise #3 in Sept 2013!
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