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Old 08-20-2011, 09:38 PM   #31
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Re: Kindgarten question - esp for moms with kids near cutoff date

wait! My ods will be 4 almost 5 before he goes to preschool. I thought about it this year, but 1. they changed the date to July 30 here and his birthday is next week, but secondly the teacher even said parents rush their kids into it and it's not the best thing. She wishes she could tell some parents no, please wait. Just my two cents.

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Old 08-21-2011, 12:07 AM   #32
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Re: Kindgarten question - esp for moms with kids near cutoff date

It's late so I didn't read any replies (will come back later and do so).

My son turned five on Aug 9 and the cutoff here is Sept 1. I feel that my son is too young to sit still for 7 hours a day, among other issues I have with kindergarten right now. As a result, I am homeschooling this year. I have put a lot of time, effort, and research into it, and think it is the best choice for our family, at least for now. Most preschools won't even take him, so I really feel it is the best/only choice for us.

I don't know what our plan is for next year. He may go to public school, a charter school, or continue homeschooling. If he does go to school outside of the home we will have him evaluated to help decide if he should go into kindergarten or first grade next year. It's fully dependent on his development; I have no desire to push him into anything he isn't ready for.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:29 PM   #33
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Re: Kindgarten question - esp for moms with kids near cutoff date

I just want to say this is a fantastic thread. My DS is only 22 months, but I've been worried about him missing 3 yo preschool because his bd is Oct and the cut off is 8/31. Then I also worried about him being one of the oldest in kindergarden.

These comments really provide a great perspective and has made me believe that it's nothing to worry about and maybe even a blessing. Thanks everyone!
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:43 PM   #34
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Re: Kindgarten question - esp for moms with kids near cutoff date

I have 2 children close to the cut off date here. My middle dd's b-day is 8/5 (she was a 33 week preemie) & my youngest dd's b-day is 9/13. The cut off here is Sept 30th. I didn't not hold either back. My birthday is 8/9 and I was not held back either. Personally I never had any issues, except that the school held off moving me up a grade because I was already younger than everyone else but offered me to graduate at 15 instead.

The preschool's the girls went to had recommendations for both. For my middle dd, they said to hold her back. But for my youngest dd, they said she was ready.

For my middle dd, it wasn't a problem at all, ever. She is extremely tall for her age (she was 5'10 at her 11 yr check up) & I think just with that alone, it would have been uncomfortable for her to be held back. She's already a head taller than everyone else. Academics wise, she's top in her class (she's starting 7th grade this year) and it's never been an issue. I feel I did the right thing & that her preschool was wrong.

But for my youngest dd, it has been a problem. She does have emotional issues that we weren't aware of when she was starting kindergarten & possibly a learning disability as well. I do really wish I held her back. Amusingly, it was her preschool that said she was ready but it became obvious in 2nd & 3rd grade that she would have been better if she waited the year. She's starting 4th grade soon & is now in basic skills for both reading & math.

I don't think there's a cut & dry answer. It really depends on each individual child. And with us, even the preschool suggestions were totally wrong.
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:54 PM   #35
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Re: Kindgarten question - esp for moms with kids near cutoff date

My daughter's birthday was on Nov. 26th and the cut off was December 1st. She just made it by 4 days. She always the youngest and smallest in class. It is worse now that we have moved to the South were the cutoffs seem to be in August. She struggles with school work and socially. She isnt struggling so much she needs to be held back, but enough that it is so frustrating for her and in turn frustrating for me to watch her.
My son is 4 and I feel that he is not ready to be in a school setting yet. My friend who cant push her kids out the door quick enough doesnt understand the concept of kids not being ready for things and bugs me all the time about her son going and my son not.
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Old 08-21-2011, 05:33 PM   #36
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Re: Kindgarten question - esp for moms with kids near cutoff date

"Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell is the book that started this most recent trend for holding (especially boys) back a year. A MUST READ.
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Old 08-21-2011, 05:45 PM   #37
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Re: Kindgarten question - esp for moms with kids near cutoff date

Thanks for the book rec--I will check that out!
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Old 08-21-2011, 05:52 PM   #38
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Re: Kindgarten question - esp for moms with kids near cutoff date

Interesting thread.

Where I am (Ontario, Canada) these options don't exist. Cut offs for grades are based on birth year. So, this Sept ALL kids born any time in 2007 are eligible to start JK. All kids born in 2006 are eligible for K and all kids born in 2005 are eligible for Grade 1.

Since school begins in Sept and the cut off is Dec 31 many kids will be 3 starting JK and 4 starting K.

If you choose not to send your child to JK or to K because you don't feel they are ready, and then you send them the following year, they WILL NOT start in JK or K they will start where there age appropriate peers are.....so they will put them straight into Grade 1 if need be. They don't test, and there is no option for anything else. They also WILL NOT hold a child back at the request of the parent. They will differentiate the instruction to meet the needs of the kids but won't re-grade the kid. It mostly evens out by grade 3 anyways and the kids catch up....unless there is some other learning issue impacting their progress.

ETA-My daughter was born June 2007 so she will begin JK in sept at age 4. My other daughter was born Oct 2009 so she will begin JK in Sept 2013 and will only be 3. By the time she starts JK it will be full days every day. Currently it is full days every other but Ontario is phasing in a new program.

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Old 08-21-2011, 08:17 PM   #39
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Re: Kindgarten question - esp for moms with kids near cutoff date

I have been teaching Kindergarten for the past 12 years and I can honestly say that it seriously depends on the child in question. *Most* of the time with the boys, I find that they are not ready socially/emotionally when they start young. That said, I have had several of my top students be among the youngest in the class. Our third child has a late November birthday and we originally planned that we would not send her....I have never seen it "hurt" to keep them out, but I have for sure seen it not work when they start too early. Anyways, fast forward to last spring and we were given the opportunity to have our favorite K teacher assess our DD2. I figured she would let me know that we still needed to wait....not so. My DD2 did very well on the early assessment and we decided to go forward with putting her into K this school year. It is a very tough decision...our approach right now is to let it go two weeks and then reevaluate how things are going. If the teacher/we feel things are not successful for her, we will pull her out.

ETA: I also had a very late birthday...in fact I missed the cutoff, but the school let me in because my mom was a teacher there. It was a very high end school with very high standards. I ended up doing very well, HA classes, GATE, etc. It can be a good thing. And I loved being younger than everyone else in my class...it felt awesome to be 17 and in college!! As for the driving thing, all I can say is that many of my friends didn't even get their licenses when they turned 16 so that really didn't apply. Wait until your son is closer to school age and evaluate him then. If you think he's ready and the teacher says otherwise, pull him back out...it's not the end of the world.
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Old 08-21-2011, 09:03 PM   #40
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Re: Kindgarten question - esp for moms with kids near cutoff date

I have thought about this a LOT for my middle son. He will turn 4 on Sept 14 and the cut off is Sept 1. I am not sure if they have an "exception" or not. I will not be pushing to have him admitted early. My husband has a cousin - his b-day is Aug, again Sept 1 cut off...so he started as a young 5..he is now in 9th grade...and he has a very tough time. He is NOT emotionally a 9th grader, he is not growth wise a 9th grader...he has struggled at every grade level to "keep up" ... I know some of it has to do with some medical issues (surgeries etc)...but just in general - he doesn't fit in with his "peers"...

I KNOW that all kids are different but I have seen what can happen when the cut off date does not work to the kids advantage. Luckily for us it should be okay....I was an Oct b-dy and was the "oldest" kind of kid...it worked out okay for me, but it was kind of awkward some times when I was already 18 in HS and some of my friends were just turning 17...but it was nice to get my drivers license...hehe...I know totally not *that* important...

Now, I also have a Nov b-day kiddo and she is....well...I don't know she is just almost 3 right now and I see her as total opposite from her brother...they have very different personalities...so we will see if she starts 1 yr or 2 years after her brother.
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