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Old 08-22-2011, 03:00 PM   #11
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Re: s/o How do you define success for your children?

I agree with the others, I just want my girls to be happy. If working a minimum wage job is what makes them happy then that's great. If they want to be the CEO of a company that's great too. I just want them to enjoy and be challenged in whatever path they choose.

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Old 08-22-2011, 05:35 PM   #12
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Re: s/o How do you define success for your children?

To me success is acheiving what you desire. I want my kiddos to have goals and the desire and determination to pursue those, or the strength to change courses if they discover that's not what they want afterall.
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Old 08-22-2011, 06:09 PM   #13
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Re: s/o How do you define success for your children?

Happiness rates the highest on my list. I want their childhood to be full of giggles, laughter, etc. If they want to go to college, I will help them. If they don't, I am o.k. with that as well. We have money and it doesn't always equate to happiness. I want them to know I support them in their paths. I know I am instilling good values in them and I trust them to make the right choices, whatever that may be. I want them to discover/explore their beliefs. I will love them no matter what their choices are. I don't believe in forcing children into a life they will not love/enjoy. So, if college isn't on that list, I am o.k with it. DH has a successful business that his dad built from the ground up. If my sons are interested in continuing on this path, they will be guaranteed to make pretty good money, however, if that isn't what makes them happy, I don't want that for them either.
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Old 08-22-2011, 06:39 PM   #14
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Re: s/o How do you define success for your children?

My only goal for my children is that they fulfill their potential, always putting forth the best effort possible. Seems vague and trite, I know. I have goals for myself as a parent which hopefully will have an effect on their future happiness and success:

To provide a stable environment (among other things, not moving and changing schools constantly).

To provide a rich family life.

To be proactive in their education. This includes taking their scholastic interests and exploring their practical applications in the real world (ie career planning). To help them determine what they will do with their education, not allowing them to attend school, including college, for the mere sake of it.

To encourage their engagement in extracurricular activities, including athletics. And to ensure that if they want to start something, that they also have to finish it (ie not quitting an extracurricular when it gets boring or tough).

I imagine someday I will contemplate my children's success. I doubt I will give much credence to how much money they make, or the specific career they have chosen. I think ultimately I will be more concerned with how and why they did things rather than what they did. And I will be concerned with who they have become. I want them to ultimately be happy and healthy. I don't have many expectations beyond that.
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Old 08-22-2011, 07:05 PM   #15
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Re: s/o How do you define success for your children?

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Originally Posted by Vivhop98 View Post
Happiness rates the highest on my list. I want their childhood to be full of giggles, laughter, etc. If they want to go to college, I will help them. If they don't, I am o.k. with that as well. We have money and it doesn't always equate to happiness. I want them to know I support them in their paths. I know I am instilling good values in them and I trust them to make the right choices, whatever that may be. I want them to discover/explore their beliefs. I will love them no matter what their choices are. I don't believe in forcing children into a life they will not love/enjoy. So, if college isn't on that list, I am o.k with it. DH has a successful business that his dad built from the ground up. If my sons are interested in continuing on this path, they will be guaranteed to make pretty good money, however, if that isn't what makes them happy, I don't want that for them either.
Money sometimes bring happiness... without it we could not have adopted/had my son.
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Old 08-22-2011, 08:15 PM   #16
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Re: s/o How do you define success for your children?

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Money sometimes bring happiness... without it we could not have adopted/had my son.
That is true. I am so glad you have your son. He seems like such a sweetie.
On the flip side, having money didn't keep my family from flipping out when we adopted our dd. If I could have paid to get rid of the stress, believe me, I would have.
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Old 08-22-2011, 10:42 PM   #17
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Re: s/o How do you define success for your children?

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That is true. I am so glad you have your son. He seems like such a sweetie.
On the flip side, having money didn't keep my family from flipping out when we adopted our dd. If I could have paid to get rid of the stress, believe me, I would have.
But, your daughter is so worth the drama. I would agree it would be so worth paying to get rid of the drama. Just know you always did the right thing! Its always interesting to see how people react in crisis/difficult situations. Adoption is particularly hard.

My son is a pure joy. He is so worth everything we went though. (though I'm more money would be nice to try again but I'm not ready to risk/do what we did).

There is such a balance between money & happiness and I hope my son has both and does "better" than us, is "happier" than us and gives me my granddaughter since you know if I adopted again, with my "luck" I'd have another boy (which would be good as we have all boy gear/toys).
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Old 08-23-2011, 07:33 PM   #18
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Re: s/o How do you define success for your children?

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But, your daughter is so worth the drama. I would agree it would be so worth paying to get rid of the drama. Just know you always did the right thing! Its always interesting to see how people react in crisis/difficult situations. Adoption is particularly hard.

My son is a pure joy. He is so worth everything we went though. (though I'm more money would be nice to try again but I'm not ready to risk/do what we did).

There is such a balance between money & happiness and I hope my son has both and does "better" than us, is "happier" than us and gives me my granddaughter since you know if I adopted again, with my "luck" I'd have another boy (which would be good as we have all boy gear/toys).
Yes, ITA! Especially since I have great DS mamas who have helped me to find ways to escape the drama. I feel like your son is such a sweet kid and he is super loved.

I agree with you about the balance of money and happiness. I do hope my kids have at least enough money that they don't struggle to buy the basics, food a house,etc. I have two boys and they are just both so sweet, so adopting another little boy wouldn't be a bad thing. Both of my boys are so different, but they love eachother so much. They often hold hands in the middle of the night. Right now, they are bickering though.
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Old 08-24-2011, 12:55 PM   #19
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Re: s/o How do you define success for your children?

I like the idea of "self-sufficiency" as a PP posted. I hope for my children that they will grow up to be:
- self-sufficient and happy with what they have (and have the gumption to strive for more if they are not happy with what they have)
- good people with a sense of personal responsibility

And my perspective on money and whether it buys happiness... I personally think it is very nice to have some money and it makes life easier when you aren't living paycheck-to-paycheck. But beyond a certain level I think it really doesn't matter. In fact, if you have to work all the time in order to have a lot of money, I think that negatively affects your happiness and family life.
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Old 08-24-2011, 01:16 PM   #20
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Re: s/o How do you define success for your children?

Education, Good Job, Good Family.

Would be nice if they were artistic or musical too. LOL
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