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Old 08-25-2011, 10:14 PM   #1
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Feeling a need for a 4th

We are blessed 3 awesome and healthy children (3, 4, and 7). With each pregnancy my body had a harder and harder time dealing with the extra stresses. So, I had my tubes tied with my last c-section. Right after she was born I felt I had done the right thing. And I still feel I probably did, bc I don't really know if I would have made it through a 4th pregnancy.

When dd2 was a couple months I started feeling like I really wanted a 4th child. And the feeling never went away. When she was about 2 it did subside, but here recently I am really wishing I could conceive. It makes me feel sad and that what if our family isn't complete. (that makes me feel guilty-like I am not super happy with the children I have--and that is not the case i love my children more than anything-and more than I ever thought i could)

I am still in school, so it's not like I could really have another child right now, but i could in a year or two. But I can't. And i am sure that this feeling will eventually completely go away. But right now it is very strong.


Mom to 3 amazing children who were breastfed, cloth-diapered, carried, co-slept/sleep: Brenna (78-2-04), Trent (2-5-07), and Emily (6-16-08)
Wife (5-5-05) to my amazing husband
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Old 08-25-2011, 10:32 PM   #2
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Re: Feeling a need for a 4th

I am sorry to hear this, I went through a similar situation with my 3rd pregnancy and ended up having a hysterectomy right after my c-section.
DS3 was about 4mo old when I started wanting another. It is so hard when you no longer have the option, nobody really understands unless they have been there and it makes you feel so bad when people say "you have 3 beautiful children, you should be happy". I know this first hand, I love my 3 boys but felt something was missing. We ended up adopting a baby girl last year when DS3 was 4.
Just wanted to give you some because I know what you are feeling!
Tara~Mama to 3 boys 16, 12, 6 a 2 year old baby girl and foster mommy to baby boy 5mo
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