Why am I so bothered by this?

[Nic24]

I started "officially" homeschooling my five year old about two months ago. I am new to this but am very passionate and confident that we are making the right choice for our family in doing so. My issue is that I have a hard time getting past everyone else's small comments and opinions.
Today has been especially bothersome to me with one family in particular that we are kind of friends with. My dd is friends with a neighbor that goes to the public school near us. We went there this morning after we finished up with our school because her parents were outside having a garage sale. Her father made two comments while we were there about homeschooling kids having it so easy and that it was too early to be finished for the school day. He said it of course in a jokingly manner. Fast forward to this evening when we were invited over to swim. I sat out on the porch with the wife and could immediately hear her husband saying the same comment to my dd in the pool that he said earlier and then proceeded to ask her what all she learned today and started quizzing her on math questions, spelling, etc. My dd enlightened him for a minute but was naturally uninterested in his questions because she wanted to swim. Maybe I an wrong, but I feel like he thinks I don't really give her much time a day or am not up to par with what his dd is learning in public school and wants to make me feel inferior. Is this something I have to look forward to for the rest of our homeschooling years by other people?

Sorry this is so long

[jenhill]

So sorry that you had this experience. and i am sure there will be several others. Lots of people just do not understand homeschooling. And that's just it-ignorance.
I don't know him-so i can't day whether he feels the way you think he does-but if i were you i'd be feeling the same way.
I wish i could offer more advise (but we literally just started hs-ing today with our 3 and 4 yr old, and we are waiting on approval from K12 to start with our 2nd grader.
I day shrug it off unless you feel there is a need to reply to his comments. (but that's just me) And you know whether this is better for your children.
I know that I feel very passionate that this is right for my children, but I am not prepared for answering tons of questions from ppl that have no clue what hs-ing involves.

[TofuScramble]

Yes, unfortunately
this is one of the reasons I stopped homeschooling... I'm so insecure and I sadly let people get to me. Trying to change that though- I really want to homeschool again and make it work- and I know now that I did homeschool well because the kids were out of school for nearly 2 years and when they returned they were totally on par with their peers... but also, even if they weren't WHO CARES! lol Seriously... there are bigger issues in life.

The quizzing is so irritating though- I hate that too!
How about this one.. after having already homeschooled for a good year, I happen to move to a house kinda near my SIL.. on our first day of starting our new school year, she comes over.. this girl NEVER initiated hanging out EVER, and I told her "Well I can't really entertain you, I'm homeschooling the kids today." and she responds "It's oK, i'll just observe." lol and she did! She sat on the couch with a huge plate of crackers, meats, and cheeses just eating and watching LOL

It was so awkward! lol She never came over again and after that told people I'm great at homeschooling- I guess she needed to see proof or something, ugh. Annoying!

It never ends. Get thick skin and brush it off.. don't be like me and give up... public school is so frustrating, blah.

[my2sweets]

We havent been hsing for a full year yet but I'm going to go ahead and say.......yeah, pretty much. Mostly though we get 'oh, can/did you?' said in a very demeaning way when dd1 tells them she can/did something. My favorite response to the time comment is 'well, lessons go much faster when youre teaching 2 kids instead of 22 kids'. So far that has shut the naysayers up lol I have had 1 person start quizzing dd1 and I just smiled, grabbed dd's hand and said 'come on honey'. I REALLY wanted to start quizing her but I knew I wasnt going to stay polite for much longer so we left lol Honestly a smile, a lil nod, and walking away is an awesome response to such rudness as far as I'm concerned

[mjg2043]

Isn't your DD 5??? I feel like he was bullying her. In most states kids don't even need to go to school at 5!

[funda62]

You'll find your feet and witty retorts to use as come backs. I've had nearly all positive responses to homeschooling, but when someone says, "Isn't it early to be finished?" or the like I say, "Isn't it a shame all the time your child spends standing in line, waiting for the teacher to calm misbehaving students, etc." Well you get the idea. Plus once your child is learning and has better manners than their child (not saying all school kids have bad manners just that from my experience homeschooled kids have great manners) you'll stop getting the icky comments from people who know you. For now I'd just say, "I respect your choices on schooling so kindly respect mine." And if they don't end the friendship. It isn't worth it.

[cowangel]

We've had to deal with a lot of the same stuff....DS is 5 and we have just started HS'ing him this year. My mom is a PS teacher and she really didn't like the idea and keeps asking him what he did for the day and telling me what he should be learning and know at this point. Her intentions are noble and she's trying to help and I just say 'ok' b/c it does help to know those things, but I've decided we want to HS so he doesn't have to learn everything the way the do in PS. DS is having a hard time when people ask who his teacher is and how school is going. I don't have any good come-backs, but even from people we don't really know when we say that we are HS'ing they just kind of say 'oh' and leave it at that...oh well...I am confident in my decision as I am sure you are and we are already seeing benefits...I don't expect to send DS back to PS anytime soon!

[Zoethink]

Originally Posted by funda62 You'll find your feet and witty retorts to use as come backs. I've had nearly all positive responses to homeschooling, but when someone says, "Isn't it early to be finished?" or the like I say, "Isn't it a shame all the time your child spends standing in line, waiting for the teacher to calm misbehaving students, etc." Well you get the idea. Plus once your child is learning and has better manners than their child (not saying all school kids have bad manners just that from my experience homeschooled kids have great manners) you'll stop getting the icky comments from people who know you. For now I'd just say, "I respect your choices on schooling so kindly respect mine." And if they don't end the friendship. It isn't worth it.

^This!

I was homeschooled K-12 and loved it, and thrived on it, and plan to HS DS. I think it is horrible that the neighborhood father was quizzing your child. I don't think it is good to do that (in a social setting) to children HS'd or PS'd. It's true there will always be people who think it is harmful, but you will find your responses, and your DD will learn to be eloquent as well. When I was 17 I was introducing myself to a group of other teenagers and I said I was homeschooled and a 14 year old said, "you think that is ok? You think that is a good thing?". I responded sweetly, "I know exactly what you are going to say: you are going to say that I can't do math and that I don't know how to talk to people, and neither of these things are true."

Stick with what you know to be right for your family!

[KnitterBug Creations]

that sucks. I haven't run into much of that yet. we are just starting homeschool now with DS who is 4.5 he is doing preK. We live in a conservative area that has TONS of homeschoolers and lots of Homeschooling groups. and my husbands side of the family is big into homeschooling so there are lots of people around me for support. I did get some comments from people in my family, but ultimately it's up to you and what's best for your family. I guess it's just a matter of 'turning the other cheek'. all you can do is to prove them all wrong. good luck mama.

[croark]

That was just rude of him! Next time I'd let him know real quick to never "quiz" my child again.

Yes, unfortunately, this is very common. My family is quite against it and have made their beliefs known. I stood up for myself and stopped it. Or so I thought. Just a few days ago one of those family members (the one most opposed to HS) really ticked me off. We had a horrible accident that was caused by my 4 yr old. During our hospital stay the family member had the nerves to tell me that the 4 yr old needs to be around more kids her age to prevent this kind of behavior. He never said send her to public school but it was clearly (in my mind) an attack on her being HS and that we don't get out enough. I was proud of myself for not turning it into a fight. I just listened and didn't respond. Sometimes it's worth the fight, sometimes it's not. You'll learn to discern when to speak up and when to walk away.