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Old 09-05-2011, 12:22 AM   #1
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Why am I so scared?

I am not sure why I am so scared, but I am. Not of giving birth or anything... I mean I have done that before and I actually enjoyed it. I am looking forward to doing it again... but I am afraid I won't get to...

I am afraid of losing this baby. I have no reason to think that I will. I have never had a miscarriage, I haven;t had any horrible fertility issues... it took me awhile to conceive this one, but nothing compared to what some people wait...

I had that little pink discharge the other day... nothing since. Shooting pains that I am sure is just round ligament pain... I had a horrible nightmare that I had a miscarriage.

Why am I so scared? Is it because I want this baby so bad it hurts? Is it because I have been trying for a long time and it finally has happened? Am I a hypochondriac?

I am just so uneasy.


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Old 09-05-2011, 06:53 AM   #2
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Re: Why am I so scared?

I don't know, but I am feeling the same way. My first two I just had to think about getting pregnant, and I would be pregnant...This one took us about 7 months of really trying to get here. I know it's not as long as many, but for us that was a long time.

I think it has to do with seeing so many other mommas going through such rough times with their pregnancies. I have never been in a DDC before, but now that I have I have never seen so many women having such trouble getting or keeping pregnant. It is really scary. I think if it happens to them, am I next?

I don't know if that's it for you, but I think that's what's triggering me.
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Old 09-05-2011, 07:41 AM   #3
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Re: Why am I so scared?

I'm always going to be terrified after losing my first pregnancy at 9 weeks. Also I personally know a few people who had a stillbirth, so I worry worry worry the entire time. Ah, the joys of being a mom :sarcasm:!
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Old 09-05-2011, 08:31 AM   #4
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Re: Why am I so scared?

It is a natural fear that is escalated by hormones. I have had multiple losses and bleed in every PG. It drives me crazy. I have no PG symptoms at all ever! Talk about crazy inducing.

It is also hard in the first trimester when you are on an online community because you get to witness first had the statistical miscarriage rates. It sucks donkey butt! It is normal to ask if it could be you, too. I mean if one of our friends can lose their baby, so can we. For those of us who have had losses, we know first hand we are not exempt. For those who have never had a loss, you wonder if you are more at risk due to not being on the statistical list yet.

I still worry about walking into my Oct ultrasound and them saying the baby has died. That is one of the biggest reasons that I have not told my family yet. I am trying to not panic. If I really wanted I could request an ultrasound today to ease my mind, given my history. I am trying to not get obsessed by it. Not easy to say the least.
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Old 09-05-2011, 09:38 AM   #5
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Re: Why am I so scared?

I'm there too. I know I'm feeding off the 2 years we tried to have this baby, and not really letting myself accept the fact that baby is actually coming. I keep waiting for someone to tell me that this isn't happening. The last year or so I was petrified that there may not be any more babies in my future, and I still havn't lost that fear. I too havn't lost a pregnancy, I've never had a real reason to be so scared that I would lose this baby, but my brain is so wired with the fear that I can't have any more kids that it's having difficulty accepting that this journey to having a second child is coming to a close. I find myself second guessing things that I know are ok - I took two regular strength tylenol to kill a massive headache saturday night, and was so scared that I was hurting the baby. We DTD the other night and I was afraid I might hurt the baby. I feel guilty that when I have a coke, even though I've cut back to 2 a day and I know that 1-2 cups of coffee are fine, and coke has WAY less caffeine. It's ridiculous. I know, intellectually that I'm not hurting my child. But that fear is NOT intellectual.
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Old 09-05-2011, 07:43 PM   #6
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Re: Why am I so scared?

I have been feeling the same.exact.way! I wasn't so sure about talking about it here, my other DDC group has one having a m/c right now so that is definately not the place. I am glad you brought it up.

I had a spotting scare at 5 1/2 weeks. I have been terrified ever since! I have never really had a hard time getting pregnant either (this time I got my IUD out on july 15th and got a BFP on Aug 1st), I haven't had a m/c or difficult pregnancies either. Watching all the other mommas go thru so much hurt and sadness makes me feel so bad and then makes every little twinge freak me out. I am so looking forward to my midwife appt. on Friday. I hope I get to go. I don't really think I can go much longer without getting some kind of reassurance from a medical professional. I need to know everything is okay. I feel like it's okay, I definately have preggo symptoms, the lines on tests have gotten darker and stayed dark but now that's not enough. I feel crazy!

I also feel like if something happend or happens it will be my fault. DH and I decided to have another, then I wasn't so sure. I went back and forth for the short time we were TTC. Now I want this baby so bad, I feel our family will be complete after this LO but I am so scared it's not going to end up the way the others have

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Old 09-05-2011, 08:36 PM   #7
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Re: Why am I so scared?

I am right there with you ALL!

A friend had a stillbirth in June - and she just found out we are expecting. I broke her heart - we haven't talked since Friday - and we usually talk every day...
I think about her and she has known of 2 other stillbirths since hers! ACK!!!

I wish I could hear the heart on my doppler - I would feel LOTS better!!!

Praying for healthy beans for us all....
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Old 09-06-2011, 09:06 AM   #8
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Re: Why am I so scared?

I also feel the same way. With my 3rd pregnancy I spent 5 weeks on bedrest pretty much waiting for a SCH to clear up. I was given a 50% chance of staying pregnant due to the size of the SCH. I went on to have a wonderful baby boy and to get that sweet baby in placed in my arms was the greatest feeling ever.

I lost baby #4 at about 4.5 weeks that was a year ago. Now I am prego again and I am terrified of loosing the baby. I spent the weekend with a nice wonderful intestinal virus that was a blast and now I am worried about the baby and how it handled the stress of that.
It is going to be another 3.5 weeks before I can even make my first O.B appointment and from there who knows how long before I get seen. I just need someone to tell me that the baby is okay and that is just not going to happen anytime soon.
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