Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-10-2011, 05:35 PM   #1
scairns's Avatar
scairns
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 379
non-gender programming

I am interested in learning more about this does anyone do this? My husband wants to do this with the baby (a girl) We plan on buying both boy and girl toys and not doing the whole pink everything but looking for other mamas that do this.


If this is in the wrong section please move.

Advertisement

scairns is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2011, 09:10 PM   #2
lilsoldiersmommy's Avatar
lilsoldiersmommy
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 381
I don't completely do this, but I let my son play with whatever he wants. We live with my sister and niece, so there are lots of "girl" toys around. Same with the twins. My dad makes faces at me when I let my son dress up as fairies with those plastic heels and all. He thinks that will make him gay. I DO NOT do pink or blue everything. I made sure with my son I bought everything gender neutral. It actually bugs me that people buy all pink stuff, play mat and all. It isn't cost efficient either if they plan on having more, esp if it ends up being a boy bc most people would want all new things.
__________________
Emily-SAHM to DS J 4/08 and twins L & K 2/11
lilsoldiersmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2011, 04:50 AM   #3
poopstermomma's Avatar
poopstermomma
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,073
My Mood:
Re: non-gender programming

I stuck with "rainbow" colors as much as possible when buying baby gear- primary colors, no pink or pastel blue. Interestingly, a lot of organic items are just beige, so totally gender neutral! I don't have any baby gear that is pink except a carseat (thanks mom...) - and all infants ride in it, including my son! Most of my baby clothes are gender neutral, but not all. I really couldn't pass up a few adorable gender-specific items!

Toys- we lean Waldorf, so all of our toys are handmade, wooden, and simple. (blocks, wooden animals, playsilks, acorns) This made it easy to be neutral. As my oldest has grown (she's almost three now), we have added a babydoll cradle and a play kitchen, but I don't think of those as "girly". Our son will play with those and enjoy them just as much as he gets older.

We will purchase whatever the kids are interested in... so, we don't have a tool set yet. (though there is a wooden tool set on etsy that I am drooling over!) When DD is interested in hammers and "fixing like daddy", we'll get her a set, without hesitation. DD just got a giant tonka dump truck to play with in her sandbox (yay consignment!)

I'm sitting here, trying to think of gender specific toys-It's hard! Oh, her Waldorf doll is a girl. DS will get a boy for his first waldorf doll this Christmas. If he wants a girl baby doll, he can have one!
__________________
My kids are 2, 3 and 5! Sleep and patience are in short supply.
The Green Sheep A Natural Parenting store FACEBOOK
I sew, too! Kenna's Felt Forest
poopstermomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2011, 02:06 PM   #4
Janine's Avatar
Janine
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 8,085
My Mood:
Re: non-gender programming

We have gender-neutral and gendered toys for our DD. And we buy whatever clothes she likes (or we like) regardless of gender. She does have some pink clothes, along with all the other colors. I don't shy away from "girl" things. They are just one of many options in our household. DD wears boy underwear because she likes Thomas the Train and they only make Thomas underwear for boys. She mostly prefers toys that I consider gender-neutral like her train set, play food, tools, blocks, and crayons. She likes her pink dress just as much as she likes her "boy" clothes. I don't believe in avoiding the gender-typical stuff. I want to teach her that she can like "boy" things or she can like "girl" things, but most importantly she can like both and that she doesn't have to choose one over the other. For me, I want to stress that she is free to do what she likes. If that means she turns 5 and wants her whole room to be pink princess, so be it. If she turns 5 and wants her whole room to be Batman, that's fine too. But most likely she'll end up like me and take a little from column A, a little from column B, and a whole lot from the middle of the road.
Janine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-13-2011, 06:35 AM   #5
CarisaAndClara's Avatar
CarisaAndClara
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 553
My Mood:
Like the pp, I'm not 100% gender neutral, but my daughter has a good mix of toys and clothes. She's too young to tell me what she likes, but I go by what she plays with most. She got an awesome dump truck set for her birthday because I saw her enjoying them at daycare.
I am, however, a total stickler about commercialized products. I don't have a tv, I won't buy anything with licensed characters on it (books, clothes, toys etc) and my daughter will be starting at the Waldorf preschool in my area as soon as she's old enough. My family gives me a hard time about it, and I've gotten into some "discussions" with daycare about their Disney princess posters (which subsequently came down, hehe) but it's something I feel strongly about. My daughter isn't anyone's billboard.
__________________
Carisa, attachment parenting single mama to Clara.
CarisaAndClara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-13-2011, 08:40 PM   #6
MySonsClothBum's Avatar
MySonsClothBum
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4,238
My Mood:
Re: non-gender programming

really...read Feminist Parenting by Dena Taylor..great book about non sexist parenting.

i am HUGE about not raising our son "heterosexual" or "gender stereotyped"
he currently has pink nail polish on and blue "paint on toes" (his request)
i avidly seek out pink or purple(or rainbows or flowered) clothing that would flatter him and i avidly avoid clothing with tools/sports/cars & trucks, etc.
he can do as he choses the older he gets but i will not just dress him in blue and basketballs Just Because he's a boy.

likewise we never say things like "oh is that your little girlfriend??"...
and if anyone else says something like "oh-he will be beating the girls off with a stick he's so gorgeous!" i always say "or boys.."

i sound...odd, perhaps. but im nice/approachable/friendly about it. maybe even funny. maybe not

we avoided buying him certain toys(cars, tools, sports balls) for as long as we could...until he discovered certain things he likes(trains...soccer balls....screwdrivers), however he still plays just as much with his babies and i feel he is well rounded in his likes/dislikes for so-called "boy" or "girl" toys
MySonsClothBum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 02:15 PM   #7
darbycrash
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 59
My Mood:
Re: non-gender programming

I'm into yellow and green for my baby but a lot of people buy gifts and they're more boy looking as far as clothes go. My FIL gave us a hard time about his christening gown! But my MIL replied to his "I had to wear a dress!" comment ( re: how he didn't want his grandson to wear a dress) with "And what? Ya turned gay?! Who cares!" I have a green sling, a red sling with hearts (had to cover that up with an old Slaughter and the dogs t-shirt little hearts are not me or my kid no matter what gender) and a sling with calaveras on it and the red one always gets me "Oh she's so cute," but I don't correct unless they ask. If people apologize I say "Don't be sorry, I don't care and he sure doesn't!" There's a great bit about gender programming in the book My Mother Wears Combat Boots. Janine, you probably read it
darbycrash is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2011, 07:26 PM   #8
CaliRoll's Avatar
CaliRoll
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Central Valley, CA
Posts: 2,591
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by MySonsClothBum
really...read Feminist Parenting by Dena Taylor..great book about non sexist parenting.

i am HUGE about not raising our son "heterosexual" or "gender stereotyped"
he currently has pink nail polish on and blue "paint on toes" (his request)
i avidly seek out pink or purple(or rainbows or flowered) clothing that would flatter him and i avidly avoid clothing with tools/sports/cars & trucks, etc.
he can do as he choses the older he gets but i will not just dress him in blue and basketballs Just Because he's a boy.

likewise we never say things like "oh is that your little girlfriend??"...
and if anyone else says something like "oh-he will be beating the girls off with a stick he's so gorgeous!" i always say "or boys.."

i sound...odd, perhaps. but im nice/approachable/friendly about it. maybe even funny. maybe not

we avoided buying him certain toys(cars, tools, sports balls) for as long as we could...until he discovered certain things he likes(trains...soccer balls....screwdrivers), however he still plays just as much with his babies and i feel he is well rounded in his likes/dislikes for so-called "boy" or "girl" toys
Out if curiosity, what happens if he does choose typical "boy" things and colors? Some moms refuse to let their boys play sports or their daughters wear pink. The gender neutral movement fascinates me because I'm wondering how much really is left up to the child to decide.
__________________
- Addie -
Wife to
Mama to (3/07) and (2/10) and our bonus blessing (3/12)
CaliRoll is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 01:29 PM   #9
LaughingPeaMama
Registered Users
Formerly: RedShoes
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,589
Re: non-gender programming

I wouldn't call us gender neutral parents since as my DH says, it looks like a flamingo attacked DD's room and she has tons of pink things but really we have just made an effort not to freak out over normal child curiosity. We let her pick out her own toys... and encourage family members to buy anything. She likes dinosaurs and Diego and even has Buzz lightyear. She has baseballs and other sports stuff etc. She wears a baseball cap just like daddy's but she wanted hers pink. The room decorations are more geared towards what the parents like anyway. The kids don't care until they are older. A which point let them choose. We make sure we don't say these things are for girls, or these things are for boys. If she wants to try it we let her....if our little boy wants to wear his sisters hairbows...well ok. I'm sure he'll get plenty of DD's hand me down dolls etc which are mostly pink but if he wants GI Joes he'll get those too. Besides there is a great book...I can't remember who it is written by or what the title...that talks about a little boy wanting a doll (which seems to freak the gender separation people out more than a girl wanting matchbox cars etc) and the grandmother bought him one much to the dad's surprise. When asked why, the grandmother told the dad, "because, now he can learn to hold a baby, cuddle them, rock them, and love them. He will learn to be a good dad and when he grows up he can teach his children how to be loving caring parents just like you!" It brought tears to my eyes.
__________________
Wife to my soulmate since 7/12/03 mom to dd 2/9/09 and ds 1/5/12 and angel baby 10/07. Infertility survivor!ISO(willing to trade my FSOT items for) snapped unpaper towels EEEEUC or NEW heavy/long mama cloth
FSOT NOTE: SMOKE FREE DOG FRIENDLY HOME. EVERYTHING IS LINT BRUSHED BUT STRAY HAIRS WILL BE FOUND. IF THIS BOTHERS YOU DON'T FSOT WITH ME PLEASE
LaughingPeaMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 01:33 PM   #10
LaughingPeaMama
Registered Users
Formerly: RedShoes
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,589
Re: non-gender programming

oh and for some reason the disney princesses irritate the heck out of me!!! DD has a tinkerbell fold out couch but only because that was the only one we could find and I haven't figured out how to recover it yet!
__________________
Wife to my soulmate since 7/12/03 mom to dd 2/9/09 and ds 1/5/12 and angel baby 10/07. Infertility survivor!ISO(willing to trade my FSOT items for) snapped unpaper towels EEEEUC or NEW heavy/long mama cloth
FSOT NOTE: SMOKE FREE DOG FRIENDLY HOME. EVERYTHING IS LINT BRUSHED BUT STRAY HAIRS WILL BE FOUND. IF THIS BOTHERS YOU DON'T FSOT WITH ME PLEASE
LaughingPeaMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.