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Old 09-23-2011, 02:34 PM   #11
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Re: Please help me understand...

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I also think that food is often a control issue for kids. The only thing they can control is what is put into their mouth. So, are some (not all!!!) pickier kids just grasping for something to control? Are they harboring some psychological 'life is too scheduled for me and I need to be able to make a choice about something' need? I do not know. You'd have to look at kids on an individual basis.
That definitely makes sense. Kids definitely want to know that they control something in their lives so I can see that!

So this is like my 4000th something post and I still haven't figured out the multi quote thing...

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Old 09-23-2011, 02:35 PM   #12
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Re: Please help me understand...

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Honestly this is what I have thought too, but I really can be narrow minded/opinionated at times so I was just thinking maybe there's another explanation!
No I really think that is some of it. Dh and I don't eat seafood so guess what...my kids never really get the opportunity to eat it. Even if I did make it guarantee dh would stick his nose up at it and I'd have to remind him not to say anything negative. He doesn't get it yet that they copy him.
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Old 09-23-2011, 02:37 PM   #13
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Re: Please help me understand...

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That definitely makes sense. Kids definitely want to know that they control something in their lives so I can see that!

So this is like my 4000th something post and I still haven't figured out the multi quote thing...
I think you click the plus button until the last one you want to quote you hit the quote one. Like + + Quote, so it will quote 3 posts or + Quote will quote 2. Make sense? I just learned this and I've been here a while too lol.
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Old 09-23-2011, 02:44 PM   #14
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Re: Please help me understand...

Ah I wondered what that + was for... Thank you!
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Old 09-23-2011, 02:48 PM   #15
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Re: Please help me understand...

I have wondered the same thing, and try to understand. I recently posted on another forum, asking adults who were/are picky to explain to me what it feels like? Why do they think they are picky? It was really interesting to read the responses.

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I don't know why kids are picky. And I have an unpopular opinion I think sometimes kids are picky because they aren't exposed to many different foods/food groups at home. Like I said, just my opinion and from my experiences. All 3 of my kids are great eaters and will eat anything. But between our home and my parents home, they've been exposed to tons of foods from the time they started eating table foods. Just my
I think this, too, sometimes, and I hate to come across as judging with it... I know I lucked out with my kids and their tolerances and choices in foods. But, it can't all be luck? We worked hard to expose and encourage an appreciation of fresh, wholesome, local foods. And it shows now.

I think it is a combo of the above and parental reaction to food refusal and new foods -- for example, when a parent of a child under one makes a blanket statement, "My baby doesn't like vegs" and then doesn't encourage the child to keep trying. I honestly believe that a small child has no ability for dislike. Not believing that has led us to keep trying new things with our kids relentlessly. It takes so many attempts/exposures for some foods to be enjoyed/appreciated. Kids may go through phases of refusing certain foods, but it will end, usually, with encouragement. IMO, that reaction feeds any kiddo control issues, and the food issue can cycle out of control.

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Old 09-23-2011, 02:48 PM   #16
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DD#2 used to be a spectacular eater until around 2. Then she just refused to eat certain foods even if she had multiple times before. Somedays she will eat a particular food, other days she won't. I don't force her to eat anything, but she doesn't get seconds on the food she likes until she eats all of the food on her plate.

DD1 is better and knows she has to eat three bites of something before saying she doesn't like it. We also don't make a big deal over new things. My kids know that there is one dinner and you either eat it or wait for the next meal.
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Old 09-23-2011, 02:51 PM   #17
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Re: Please help me understand...

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You may as well ask why some kids go through an "only wears pink" phase. (I did that, too, for the record.) It's a mystery.
See to me this is a totally different issue. Certain colors of clothes aren't needed for health/general well being of an individual.
Yes, you see it as different, because you are an adult who understands the ramifications. A small child only sees what he or she likes/dislikes. You can make them eat it, through bribes, threats, consequences, or pleas... but you can't make them like it.

My kid hates potatoes (???) I still make him try them, but he won't eat them uncoerced, except in fry form. (Which we rarely have.) I figure I just got off easy in that he only has one strong dislike.

Now, if your question is why do some parents not make their kids eat healthy foods, that is a different question than why are some kids super-picky.
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Old 09-23-2011, 02:58 PM   #18
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Re: Please help me understand...

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Now, if your question is why do some parents not make their kids eat healthy foods, that is a different question than why are some kids super-picky.
I think this is true. We use "picky eater" to describe a lot of kid behaviour around food. Some of which is anxiety related (I know a little guy who gets very anxious about food), some is lack of parental encouragement (for lack of a better word as I make dinner and listen to kids....LOL) and some is maybe just a phase. The outcome, I would guess, would mostly be based on how we, as parents, deal with the picky eaters in our own household.
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:08 PM   #19
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Re: Please help me understand...

Actually, pickiness is mostly genetic -
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/10/dining/10pick.html?pagewanted=all

And while certain colors aren't needed for the health/general well being of an individual, neither is any particular food. We live in an era of abundance, and there are many, many ways for our kids to get the nutrition they need.

I often serve food that I don't personally like. Peas for example. I would be upset if someone was forcing me to eat them just because that was the rule. Why would I do the same to my kids? Its not going to "cure" their dislike of the food, and its not a battle I choose to fight.
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:24 PM   #20
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Re: Please help me understand...

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Yes, you see it as different, because you are an adult who understands the ramifications. A small child only sees what he or she likes/dislikes. You can make them eat it, through bribes, threats, consequences, or pleas... but you can't make them like it.

My kid hates potatoes (???) I still make him try them, but he won't eat them uncoerced, except in fry form. (Which we rarely have.) I figure I just got off easy in that he only has one strong dislike.

Now, if your question is why do some parents not make their kids eat healthy foods, that is a different question than why are some kids super-picky.
That makes total sense. Of course I see it because I know the health benefits, but it is kind of funny that I didn't even consider that a child wouldn't know that.

See I didn't want to ask parents why they don't make their kids eat healthy foods because I don't want to make them feel like I'm attacking them at all.

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I often serve food that I don't personally like. Peas for example. I would be upset if someone was forcing me to eat them just because that was the rule. Why would I do the same to my kids? Its not going to "cure" their dislike of the food, and its not a battle I choose to fight.
I serve foods that I don't like and eat them because rules in our house are for everyone. Same with dh. Neither of us liked fish or any type of seafood when we got together. I'm finally learning to like fish and dh now eats fish without making a face. Asparagus, peas and spinach are the other ones my dh and I don't like and yet we still eat them.

It's totally a battle I choose to fight because I want my kids to be healthy people. My dd has diabetes and if I just let her eat junk food (which at this point she doesn't even like) I would basically be killing her as far as I see it. I know you're not saying junk food, but I was just using that as an example.
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