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Old 09-23-2011, 02:51 PM   #1
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When to tell about the birds and the bees?

How old were your kids when you started to talk to them about sex? I was thinking of waiting until my DD had her first period, but I didn't get my first period until I was 19! I'm not uncomfortable talking about it, I just don't know when to start. They both know that men and women each have cells (sperm and eggs) that contribute to the beginning of a new life, they just don't know how the cells get together (I don't think )

How old were your kids when you told them about the actual deed? Or how old were they when they asked?

TIA!

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Old 09-23-2011, 03:00 PM   #2
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Re: When to tell about the birds and the bees?

I asked my mom to tell me about it when I was 13, because we had sex ed coming up in school and I wanted to hear it from her first, in a more controlled environment than a schoolroom. I hadn't had my period, and it was a weird awkward conversation. Not too bad, though, all things considered. I was still young enough to be intrigued by the science of it, but kind of grossed out by the mechanics.

Personally, I think a risk of waiting can be the "closing the barn door after the horses are out" problem. I went to a very good, very expensive, conservative private Catholic junior high school and I know of at least one 12 year old who was having sex. I'm quite sure her parents didn't know and would have been both horrified and devastated.
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:07 PM   #3
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Around age 4. But I have been having babies as well with lots of questions on how and why. We explain sex simply at first then get deeper into it around 8 or 9. By age 10 my girls knew all about sex, condoms, diseases etc. My younger kids know what sex is, and how it works, but they have no need for "outside of marriage" terms yet (like disease, unwanted/unplanned pregnancy and birth control)

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Old 09-23-2011, 03:10 PM   #4
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Re: When to tell about the birds and the bees?

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Around age 4. But I have been having babies as well with lots of questions on how and why. We explain sex simply at first then get deeper into it around 8 or 9. By age 10 my girls knew all about sex, condoms, diseases etc. My younger kids know what sex is, and how it works, but they have no need for "outside of marriage" terms yet (like disease, unwanted/unplanned pregnancy and birth control)

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I agree and if you wait until they go to school then their heads get filled with lots and lots of misinformation. Please don't wait until she has her first period.
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:15 PM   #5
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Re: When to tell about the birds and the bees?

Guess it's time for the talk I think I'll just sit with both of them and tell them together (they are 7 & 10) They just seem so little still. They watch Treehouse TV, play Barbies, stuffies, and "teacher" all day. I would say they are young for their ages, but that doesn't mean there's not talk at school! Great points. Thanks!
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:28 PM   #6
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Re: When to tell about the birds and the bees?

Yeah it's definitely time to talk to them. I started my period at 10 and had no idea about anything. I was mortified!

I talk to my kids in general terms. My dd and I are about to have the 'serious' non general term talk. I just don't want them to be embarrassed.
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:34 PM   #7
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Re: When to tell about the birds and the bees?

The actual discussion about intercourse happened around 5 years old. We worked up to it for several years with books about babies growing in the womb and the sperm/egg concept.

A couple of years later, DS1 heard about birth control on NPR and we talked about that. It was strange to him for anyone to want to do THAT and not have a baby.

This month (he's 9) he learned about the concept of homosexuality since Don't Ask Don't Tell has been in the news a good bit.

I'm waiting for the abortion discussion. It's bound to be coming.
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:34 PM   #8
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Guess it's time for the talk I think I'll just sit with both of them and tell them together (they are 7 & 10) They just seem so little still. They watch Treehouse TV, play Barbies, stuffies, and "teacher" all day. I would say they are young for their ages, but that doesn't mean there's not talk at school! Great points. Thanks!
Just make it simple. Sex is P+V= fun and/or babies in tummies. Lol. We then discussed that men have sperm, and women have eggs, and if they meet inside the mommy a baby is made...yadda yaddaa..9 months later...etc.

When mine are little we keep it to the confines of marriage...as in husbands and wives have sex for fun and to make babies, it feels good for adults to do this etc. When they got older we expanded that to include all people. No need to freak them out too much... my kids have all handled it just fine.
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:44 PM   #9
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Re: When to tell about the birds and the bees?

I have been debating this myself. My older two are 8 and 7 and there have been some little talks but the other day I heard my son telling my daughter that my tampons were birth control. I have been trying to figure out how and when to really talk to them
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Old 09-23-2011, 03:52 PM   #10
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Re: When to tell about the birds and the bees?

I use the book Where Did I Come From? It has simple illustrations (no photos) with realistic looking Mom and Dad (no super models) and nothing graphic. There's nothing in it about morality so you can put your own into it.
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