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Old 09-24-2011, 08:11 AM   #1
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S/O of a S/O "Advanced Maternal Age"- Tell me about it

Those of you who had babies when you were 35+, tell me about it. Tell me what was different from when you had them in your 20s. Tell me what it was like with other small children in your care. Tell me how it was different for you physically-during pregnancy, childbirth, and those early infant months. Tell me how you did it!

I am 34 and am trying to talk myself into one last baby. My children are 9, 4, and 3. They ALL sleep through the night, in their own beds. They all are completely out of diapers. I have forgotten what it is like to have to constantly change diapers and wake at night. (momnesia) My 4yo has started displaying an interest in little babies and my 9yo has always been obsessed with them.

My pregnancies have all been pretty easy and I spent 10ish hours, 1 hour and 5 minutes, and then 29 minutes in the hospital laboring/birthing. I'm not sure how to top the last one short of a drive through.

But I'm "scared." I am not as young and fit as I was-even 3 years ago. I am not overweight, but I could stand to lose a few more pounds. My ab muscles are shot. I've been working on them, but they just don't feel strong the way they did before my 2 back to back pregnancies.

I went to my endo for thyroid monitoring (just nodules) at this huge clinic and realize that I am far healthier and fitter than I give myself credit for. Still I just don't know how I would handle feeling seasick (I don't actually vomit, just feel like I need to) all day long for 2 months while taking care of 3 busy kids.

To top it off, my sister recently confided to me that she is going to get her IUD removed in December. I'm not sure how she would feel about us getting pg at the same time. I know, probably silly, but another thing I'm worried about.

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Old 09-24-2011, 08:38 AM   #2
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Re: S/O of a S/O "Advanced Maternal Age"- Tell me about it

Didn't have any kids in my 20's. Had one before 35 (i was in excellent shape) and then one after 35 (in average trying to get back in shape 2 years after having a kid shape). My pregnancies were different, not because of my age, but because of the babies. I had higher hormone levels the 2nd time around (which had nothing to do with my age) and a bigger, healthier baby. But the only difference the age made was the amount of tests done. We had 2 extra tests (not an amino) because of "advanced maternal age".

As far as a new baby- yep gotta get use to the diapers again and nursing (not one of my favorite parts I always had infections and pain- but I was able to nurse longer the 2nd time around). The waking up every2 hours, blah, blah, blah wasn't any harder (wasn't any easier either) the 2nd time. I didn't notice any difference. With your lo being 3 there hasn't been a huge time since your last I don't think you'll notice much difference. If your youngest was 10 and you were going again I think you'd notice a much bigger change.

That being said- you'll be less tired and have a better labor if you get into shape first. Easier said then done, but...
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Old 09-24-2011, 10:13 AM   #3
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Re: S/O of a S/O "Advanced Maternal Age"- Tell me about it

I had my first at 35, but we adopted and were trying for about 5-6 years so it wasn't planned that way... my husband was 45. Not a big deal either way. He had them young and except for worrying about getting older when the kid is in high school he said in many ways its "better" as he is far more financially secure, only has to work one job and is far more patient and relaxed about every day things that with his first round he'd get so frustrated with. Plenty of women have kids (and men) after 35... if you want more, go for it.
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Old 09-24-2011, 01:48 PM   #4
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Re: S/O of a S/O "Advanced Maternal Age"- Tell me about it

I had my 1st 4 under the age of 28 and then had my 5th DS the yr I turned 40. It was WAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY different. I had recently lost a lot of weight and was in good shape, so I didn't gain as much. However, I was horribly sick the 1st 24 wks (I know this can happen no matter the mom's age ). My labor for a 6 lb 7 oz baby was way more painful than the labor of a 9lb 3 oz baby (both were posterior). I def felt different even though I was in better shape- during the pregnancy, labor and now. I used to run after 4 kids under 5 and now, 1 kid 15 months absolutely exhausts me. I am more laid back in some stuff- prob cuz I am too tired to care, lol.
I don't agree that being older you will have more security. DH and I are pretty poor (my X and I had plenty of money), he works 3 jobs and we are still struggling. Also DH has had to learn patience bc he didn't have kids until we had our DH. I think I was way more patient when I was younger and had more energy. When I talk to the moms in my DDC, they have more energy, etc and they are all younger. That being said, I still want more babies with DH provided we get it together financially .
(Oh and my mom had babies from age 19-37 and we were poor the whole time, but she was way more lax with the baby of the family, etc). I don't know about energy cuz it didn't seemt to change as she got older.
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Old 09-24-2011, 01:56 PM   #5
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I had my first at 30 and was in decent shape. Had my 2nd at 32 and was in great shape. Had my 3rd at 35 (2 months before turning 36). I was in great shape then too. I had easy pregnancies and no ms. My labors were (total time start to finish) 15 hours, then 6 hours, then 2.5 hours! With each pregnancy I was "done" earlier, and ready to not be pg anymore. I HS my oldest and the mds goes to preschool 3 days a week but other than that he's home and DH works long hours. I try to get regular exercise even if I'm super tired. It seems to give me a little energy boost. Yeah, I'm tired but I just end up going to bed early. I'll eventually sleep all night again...someday!
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Old 09-24-2011, 03:03 PM   #6
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Re: S/O of a S/O "Advanced Maternal Age"- Tell me about it

DS3 was born when I was 36. No issues I dont get sick w/ pregnancies so that was a non issue. We planned for me to stop working and SAH so I quit at 28 weeks after the kids summer camps ended ( older 2 ds were 9 &12) I did get induced because my BP shot up at the end and I was 40 weeks My choice. Labor was like the previous 2 long but short pushing. DS4 was a bit of a surprise at 41. BY FAR my easiest pregnancy I didnt realize I was pregnant until I looked at the calendar. No swelling well minor 30lb weight gain. 41weeks and 10lb1oz Jack came out with 3 pushes.
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Old 09-24-2011, 04:02 PM   #7
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Pg now at 36 with number 4. I am exhausted.. Like barely functional. I agree with pp about lack if paitence and energy.
Your kids are older than mine so i think after the baby came you would have a real team of helpers. Of my 3 i have one with special needs who particularly tires me.
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Old 09-24-2011, 04:53 PM   #8
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Re: S/O of a S/O "Advanced Maternal Age"- Tell me about it

I had my first at 32 and second at 37. The second pregnancy was definitely harder, but I don't think it was my age, I think it was the second pregnancy. I got way bigger faster and was generally more uncomfortable sooner. I still rode my bike to work (6k) until month 7 but with my first I never stopped riding at all.

I was actually less tired with the second baby because I was better at not sleeping! and generally better at baby stuff.
In your case, I think whether you are 25 or 35, a 4th kid is tiring!!!
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Old 09-24-2011, 08:22 PM   #9
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Re: S/O of a S/O "Advanced Maternal Age"- Tell me about it

The Doctors can be awful, and from what I am told (I was 33 when I had DS so just missed it) you might be tempted to punch a doctor or nurse, if they say AMA in that condescending tone one more time. My one friend totally believes they also try to scare you a lot more when your AMA, they made her cry at her first U/S telling all the horrors that could go wrong because she was AMA. While her u/s and everything else were totally fine. They were made she declined a few tests earlier and made her pay

Overall most of my friends who were AMA, had pretty good pregnancies, not that much harder, some said easier then their first pregnancies (if they had them) when they were younger. They mostly just said the Doctors and nurses, are harder to deal with, and these were woman all seeing different doctors in different cities and states, so it was kind of all over.
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Old 09-24-2011, 09:01 PM   #10
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Re: S/O of a S/O "Advanced Maternal Age"- Tell me about it

I had my first pregnancy at 39 and gave birth one month shy of my 40th birthday. I had my second 13 mos later, less than one week shy of my 41st birthday. We are trying for our 3rd now.

I don't have a PG in my 20's to compare it to.

But I will say that I have always maintained that, if I could help it, there is nothing on EARTH that would make me go back and have a baby after I am done with the most labor-intensive, sleep deprived part of it all.

So I have always wanted my babies back to back. This 3rd baby will be closer to 24-36mos apart from my first two and can I tell you how that is starting to scare me. I am finishing with harder phases with my DD and thinking, YAY!!! that's done!!! But then I remember we want a child younger than this one and I am going to have to do it all over again. Hurry up darn it!!

Once I give up diapers, bottles, baby strollers, not STTN, tantrums, wet beds, and throw up, I have no intentions of ever going back.

So personally, I TOTALLY understand being concerned with having a baby later in life.

As far as the physical part, meh, I hated being pregnant, but there wasn't any thing bad about doing it at this age. At the tail end of DD's PG I did have a pre-eclampsia scare (and that does worry me for future PGs), but that happened in 38th week and by then we were pretty much safe.

I did yoga and rode my stationary bike and kegels and crunches (after 8wks PP). I think I have stayed in pretty decent shape. I didn't gain any weight that I didn't or couldn't lose. It's just that I am not all that focused on loosing weight when I am just going to be PG again. I'll get back to my pre-PG weight when I am all done for good.

HTH...
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