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Old 09-26-2011, 08:42 PM   #11
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I didn't see the new weekly thread, so made a ridiculously long rant in the old one. To put it short, I'm frustrated. I wanted a doula. Doesn't look like it will come true. Now I'm facing a certain doom of repeat csection. Boo.
Can you talk to DH about being a better advocate this time? I don't think you need a doula to avoid another section, if you really don't want one. Don't give up so early in the game.

If your friend is in training, call her. There's no guaranty she got your email.

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Old 09-26-2011, 09:09 PM   #12
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Re: Weekly Chat 9/26-10-2

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OH and get this!!!!!!! My mom begged me to tell my niece about the pregnancy so I did. I told her we hadn't told anyone yet and don't say anything to the boys. Well, apparently she didn't realize that this meant my siblings too. She told my sister and my brother (her dad). I don't think my sister is all that happy about it. I thought she'd be one of the happier reactions. UGH, it made my stomach hurt even more.

I know we are not in a great financial situation right now. It's been SO hard. We were buying a business from my mom (started 5+ years ago) and with the economy business has been B.A.D. Well, DH was dead set on keeping it and making it work that we have 'worked' ourselves into a huge hole. No one seems to understand this. When this business was good, DH was bringing home over 4k a month which is way more than we need, I wasn't working, we had way higher bills etc. We have scaled down SO much and tried to do what we can but still, no one sees how hard we have worked. I am so mad!!! My sisters are both in craptastic relationships but their husbands make a lot of money so all is well. I am sick of the pity parties. I don't ask for it but being the 6th child out of 7 I guess it just happens. My DH and I love each other, love our kids and that is all that should matter. He is in school trying to better himself and our lives but that doesn't matter to anyone. I am trying to make as much money as I can working from home and taking care of my family. I am just so mad. Thsi is why I didn't want to tell people. We wanted this, we didn't want to wait for the economy to turn around b/c who the F knows when that is going to happen. I don't want kids after I turm 35, I don't want to take any more risks than need be. We are having hard times but can't people just be HAPPY for a new baby????!!!!
I really don't understand why people react like it's so personal to them. We're staying with DHs best friend and he and his gf keep making comments about if we're 'sure' we want another, rolling her eyes when DD wakes up not feeling well and today he said no wonder DH works so much, he doesn't want to go home.

DD screamed for an hour today. Kid you not ONE HOUR. We're temporarily staying with DH's best friend until we get our own place, which the lease is on its way via snail mail and we should be moving in monday. One more week.... just one more week... DD has been asking for our new home and I'm so ready to just be in my own bed. I don't care if there's nothing in the house except towels, toilet paper, munchies and my bed!!
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Old 09-26-2011, 09:15 PM   #13
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Re: Weekly Chat 9/26-10-2

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'm beginning to think I'll have to go it on my own with no help at all... and I know from experience DH is no help at all. He didn't feel like he could do anything to help when I was in labor with DS, so really didn't even try. He sat on his laptop. Also, he didn't advocate for me at all, and I ended up in a csection. I kept waiting for him to stand up for me, to protect me, and he didn't. I wanted a doula there to help advocate for my birth plan and wishes.

I'm going to cry.... because without a doula, I'm certain I'll end up in another csection and I might as well just do the RCS.
Do you have a friend that could be there for you? I'm pretty sure mine would be pretty hopeless so I'm going to need to get a doula. My doula for DD was in training or near the end of it, something like that and it helps having someone that you know will stick up for you and understands what you want. Hope you can find someone. Are there any boards like at your local health stores or craigslist etc that you can post doula wanted?
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Old 09-27-2011, 04:49 AM   #14
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Re: Weekly Chat 9/26-10-2

The friend's doula she recommended me to, I can see her activity. She's on facebook like every single day, and she told me that's a really great way to get ahold of her, so I sent her a facebook message, and my friend said she'd mention my name and tell her that she referred me. Nothing. When I put on my facebook I was still looking for a doula, she asked about the one she recommended and she said she'd get in touch with her again... nothing has come of that either.

The one I had contacted with only one available opening said she has experience with the hospital I'll most likely be birthing at and has been a doula for 11 yrs, but her rates are affordable for us. But.. apparently she's awful at communication.

All my friends think I'm crazy for doing a VBAC. RCS is easier, they say. And I could kill my baby. *rolls eyes* I do want my sister there, and she is in my birth plan for hte person to accompany baby everywhere incase of necessary csection, but I wouldn't expect her to take on a doula's role.
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Old 09-27-2011, 06:11 AM   #15
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Re: Weekly Chat 9/26-10-2

What state do you live in? I have a doula friend (in PA) who might have more resources to help you find a doula in your area.

Of course a rcs would be "easier" in a sense. You can pretty much plan for it. However, it's also considered major abdominal surgery and has a realm of possible complications, just like a vbac. I have a friend who had 2 vag births, then a cs with her twins, then a vbac and she's pg again now and is def not planning on a cs. You just need to find a provider who will work with you.
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Old 09-27-2011, 09:29 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crunch!910
The friend's doula she recommended me to, I can see her activity. She's on facebook like every single day, and she told me that's a really great way to get ahold of her, so I sent her a facebook message, and my friend said she'd mention my name and tell her that she referred me. Nothing. When I put on my facebook I was still looking for a doula, she asked about the one she recommended and she said she'd get in touch with her again... nothing has come of that either.

The one I had contacted with only one available opening said she has experience with the hospital I'll most likely be birthing at and has been a doula for 11 yrs, but her rates are affordable for us. But.. apparently she's awful at communication.

All my friends think I'm crazy for doing a VBAC. RCS is easier, they say. And I could kill my baby. *rolls eyes* I do want my sister there, and she is in my birth plan for hte person to accompany baby everywhere incase of necessary csection, but I wouldn't expect her to take on a doula's role.
When you get a fb message from someone you're not friends with, it goes to an "other" folder and doesn't show up in your regular messages. Dodge might not know she got message from you.
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Old 09-27-2011, 10:19 AM   #17
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Re: Weekly Chat 9/26-10-2

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When you get a fb message from someone you're not friends with, it goes to an "other" folder and doesn't show up in your regular messages. Dodge might not know she got message from you.
This is what I was thinking too. Maybe she doesn't know it's there? Hopefully you can have your VBAC.
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Old 09-27-2011, 10:25 AM   #18
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Re: Weekly Chat 9/26-10-2

One bad thing about being single and pregnant (besides the obvious)....no one to clean when the smell of chemicals make you nauseous. I did manage to make cinnamon rolls for breakfast this morning, and the best chocolate chip banana muffins ever last night. Now, if they'd only taste as good as they sound and smell.
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Old 09-27-2011, 12:15 PM   #19
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Re: Weekly Chat 9/26-10-2

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One bad thing about being single and pregnant (besides the obvious)....no one to clean when the smell of chemicals make you nauseous. I did manage to make cinnamon rolls for breakfast this morning, and the best chocolate chip banana muffins ever last night. Now, if they'd only taste as good as they sound and smell.
So sorry that you have to deal with it all yourself. I think a lot of times I really just take for granted what DH does around here when I am feeling so icky. Hopefully the MS will start going away for you soon!
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Old 09-27-2011, 02:05 PM   #20
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Re: Weekly Chat 9/26-10-2

I'm so sorry for those of you who have people in your lives that aren't supportive of your pregnancy (or other family members). People really must not think - or care - about their actions or words affect people. I hope you all can ignore them.

Good luck to you, crunch!, I hope you can find a doula!

I find it interesting how people view c-sections... I had a really good pregnancy and birth with DS (even though I really didn't prepare myself as well as I should have for those needle-pushers!). I did end up getting an epidural, had an episiotomy, and 3rd degree tearing. Recovery was awful. Because of this, my MIL (who I LOVE!) can't understand why I don't just have a c-section this time. Literally that was one of the first questions she asked when we told her the news! When I told her that I'm planning to go med-free this time, she looked at me like I was crazy! She tried to tell me that a c-section would be so much better for me and with an easier recovery. It's really odd to me that our society has made it "normal" and seemingly "safer" to have a c-section than to give birth naturally. Oh well...
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