Diaper Swappers

Inspired Creations · 09-29-2011, 04:12 PM

My son has a friend that is 1 year older and today I walked into the office where they had been on the computer trying to look up videos and pictures of girls. Not nice pictures. This is not the first time and they weren't able to get anywhere because of parental locks (the first time it happened, we didn't have parental locks on because we had no idea it would happen at this age). My son is almost 7, the other almost 8. The other child has an 18 yo brother and I think that's where he is picking up the idea from. My DS won't talk about it much and won't tell me what he saw (I dont' think it was much the first time). Today I calmly told the friend that he was no longer allowed to be on the computer and if I caught them looking up stuff again, they would no longer be allowed to play together anymore. So...any thoughts on how to approach this in a way that doesn't scare them, doesn't warp their sexuality? My DS didn't have this on his radar AT ALL before now. I think he's just curious to see what his friend is talking about but...

ktmelody · 09-29-2011, 05:42 PM

That does NOT sound normal. Someone had to introduce an 8 year old to that type of behavior, or he must have overseen it. I would not allow my son to ever play with a child again that did that in my home.

I would explain to my son, (as I have with my older daughters) that pronography is for adults and married couples to enjoy together for intimacy. (this would only be if he was exposed or questioned me about it)

My son is 7 and I would be livid if that happened in my home and a phone call would be made to the parents of the other child asap.

Hth some.

Fashionably Green Baby · 09-29-2011, 05:46 PM

yeah what ^she said

umphreysmommy · 09-29-2011, 05:47 PM

I don't know about normal but I remember in early elementary school (3rd grade or before because I changed schools) but a bunch of boys had p*rn magazines and hid them in the woods behind school and all looked at them after school. I don't think it is THAT crazy but alarming none the less, things are probably worse with the Internet than they were 20 years ago too.

tallanvor · 09-29-2011, 05:56 PM

Well, my son is 8 and neither him nor any of his friends have ever been interested in it. It is really going to depend on how sexuality is dealt with in the home. If movies are watched that have sexual scenes showing any nudity, if music is listened to that speaks of it, if videos games are played that portray women as sex opjects, etc, then the child is going to (most likely) be interested and start looking at things at an earlier age. As far as what to say to the boys, that depends on your beliefs. My son would be told that looking at a naked woman is reserved for when he's married and he's looking at his wife, and that that is the only time it is appropriate.

KB'sMama1031 · 09-29-2011, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tallanvor

my son would be told that looking at a naked woman is reserved for when he's married and he's looking at his wife, and that that is the only time it is appropriate.

I think that's a great way to explain it!
If it was my son I would be pissed.

mcpforever · 09-29-2011, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tallanvor

Well, my son is 8 and neither him nor any of his friends have ever been interested in it. It is really going to depend on how sexuality is dealt with in the home. If movies are watched that have sexual scenes showing any nudity, if music is listened to that speaks of it, if videos games are played that portray women as sex opjects, etc, then the child is going to (most likely) be interested and start looking at things at an earlier age. As far as what to say to the boys, that depends on your beliefs. My son would be told that looking at a naked woman is reserved for when he's married and he's looking at his wife, and that that is the only time it is appropriate.

I agree with this-especially if sex is portrayed as a tabboo in the household along with exposure to it.

My 9 yo DS hasn't expressed an interest in it. He saw my Victoria's Secret catalogue on the table a few weeks ago and thumbed through it. No biggie. I wasn't hiding it from him. He was confused as to why in some of the pictures they weren't wearing any tops at all (pics from the back selling panties). I just told him that the models were trying to look attractive and interesting and that some people find being naked to be attractive and interesting. He kind of hmphed at me and then announced that a lot of the pictures they didn't look pretty or like they were having fun.

And he KNOWS about intercourse/baby making and that it is done for fun and that people use birth control so there aren't a gazillion babies everywhere.

It's just not on his radar yet. He even has wondered aloud if he is gay. This is the same boy who had a crush on a classmate when he was 7. That's how nonsexual he is right now.

ETA: As a parent, if I saw something like that happen on my watch, I'd address it with the other child's parent(s) as well. I would want to know if my child was interested in doing something like that so that I could address the issue and take some wind out of his (or her-girls aren't immune) sails.

purpledayz · 09-29-2011, 08:49 PM

I think I was only 7 or 8 when a kid the same age as me wanted to show me the pictures in the encyclopedia. We were just curious what people looked like, not interested in anything sexual. The Internet brings a sexual side to normal childrens curosity though. I would probably talk to the other boys family about what you saw.

Inspired Creations · 09-29-2011, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purpledayz

I think I was only 7 or 8 when a kid the same age as me wanted to show me the pictures in the encyclopedia. We were just curious what people looked like, not interested in anything sexual. The Internet brings a sexual side to normal childrens curosity though. I would probably talk to the other boys family about what you saw.

Thank you for that...I think there is a natural curiousity and I don't want to make that wrong for either of them, however, it is becoming an issue. I have talked with the other parents the first time and am trying to get in touch with them today about this incident. I agree that somewhere the 8yo had to be introduced to it, someone had to show him or he found places to look up the things he was looking up (he knew keywords to plug in the search box that would lead him right to adult sites).

And I can remember the national geographic mags and encyclopedias being an intriguing curiousity but again, not a sexual thing at those young ages.

Thanks for all the comments. It's difficult to know exactly how to handle it. And my DS is rather uncommunicative about the whole thing. They both clearly know they were up to something I didn't want them to though I can't get enough out of DS to figure out what he thinks he's looking up/looking at. So... didn't think I'd be dealing with this at the age of 6!

ohgirlohboyohno · 09-29-2011, 10:20 PM

I remember in 4th grade one of the boys brought a Dallas Cheerleader calendar and it was DRAMA!!

- lets see that would have made them 9 or 10??

09-29-2011, 04:12 PM	#1
Inspired Creations Registered Users Formerly: lbp215 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Winter Springs, FL Posts: 185 Ratings: 50 Feedback: 100%	at what age do most boys start to be curious about naked girls? My son has a friend that is 1 year older and today I walked into the office where they had been on the computer trying to look up videos and pictures of girls. Not nice pictures. This is not the first time and they weren't able to get anywhere because of parental locks (the first time it happened, we didn't have parental locks on because we had no idea it would happen at this age). My son is almost 7, the other almost 8. The other child has an 18 yo brother and I think that's where he is picking up the idea from. My DS won't talk about it much and won't tell me what he saw (I dont' think it was much the first time). Today I calmly told the friend that he was no longer allowed to be on the computer and if I caught them looking up stuff again, they would no longer be allowed to play together anymore. So...any thoughts on how to approach this in a way that doesn't scare them, doesn't warp their sexuality? My DS didn't have this on his radar AT ALL before now. I think he's just curious to see what his friend is talking about but... __________________ Laura Peterson, mama to Noah (10/21/04) and Eli (2/4/09), wife to Eric Find me on Facebook!

09-29-2011, 05:42 PM	#2
ktmelody Super Moderator "We're all mad here." Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Vegas BABY! Posts: 18,516 Ratings: 617 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	That does NOT sound normal. Someone had to introduce an 8 year old to that type of behavior, or he must have overseen it. I would not allow my son to ever play with a child again that did that in my home. I would explain to my son, (as I have with my older daughters) that pronography is for adults and married couples to enjoy together for intimacy. (this would only be if he was exposed or questioned me about it) My son is 7 and I would be livid if that happened in my home and a phone call would be made to the parents of the other child asap. Hth some. __________________ Katie, mom to Olivia (97), Veda (98), Franky (2004), Wendy (2005), JoHannah (2007), Thea (2009) and Sunny (2011)

09-29-2011, 05:46 PM	#3
Fashionably Green Baby Registered Users Formerly: artistmom Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 5,406 Ratings: 34 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: at what age do most boys start to be curious about naked girls? yeah what ^she said __________________ When you feel like giving up, Remember why you held on so long in the first place. Swag with me! 10% off at my HC store with code: diaperswappers

09-29-2011, 05:47 PM	#4
umphreysmommy Registered Users Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: boston, ma Posts: 4,257 Ratings: 44 Feedback: 100%	I don't know about normal but I remember in early elementary school (3rd grade or before because I changed schools) but a bunch of boys had p*rn magazines and hid them in the woods behind school and all looked at them after school. I don't think it is THAT crazy but alarming none the less, things are probably worse with the Internet than they were 20 years ago too. __________________ Mommy to Fiona 12/09 and new baby Layla 3/12 a HBAC!

09-29-2011, 05:56 PM	#5
tallanvor Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 11,663 Ratings: 43 Feedback: 100%	Re: at what age do most boys start to be curious about naked girls? Well, my son is 8 and neither him nor any of his friends have ever been interested in it. It is really going to depend on how sexuality is dealt with in the home. If movies are watched that have sexual scenes showing any nudity, if music is listened to that speaks of it, if videos games are played that portray women as sex opjects, etc, then the child is going to (most likely) be interested and start looking at things at an earlier age. As far as what to say to the boys, that depends on your beliefs. My son would be told that looking at a naked woman is reserved for when he's married and he's looking at his wife, and that that is the only time it is appropriate.